Breast feeders"As sponsored by a man who knows fuck all about it but still 
makes the rules"
Self-rightous holier-than-thou mumsnet mafia, who think that we’re all beholden to the brats they spawned. “Breastfeeding is normal and natural” aye, so is taking a dump. I’d be offended if someone curled one down in a Little Chef, let alone ruining my hundred quid afternoon tea in Claridge’s.

Nominated by: The Large Visage

17 thoughts on “Breast feeders

  1. Quite the done thing in certain aristo circles to suck a bit orf tit. Etiquette at dinner to offer it aroind. Point is when a filly is lactating she can produce an awful lot orf the old milk’n honey donchaknow and get very uncomfortable therebye. Any dairy farmer will know that a cow gets terrifically oit orf sorts coming up to milking and queues up for it. Sheer bliss after and a filly is just the same. Offer it roind I say. Am sure the Pope loves a suck.

    Orn the subject orf sucking cock me old friend Congressman Todd Akin has a sure fire way orf dedyking a filly and a very environmentally friendly method orf dealing with a surfeit orf breast milk:

    All part orf a chap’s five a day.

    • Always a pleasure to instruct the lower classes dear heart. Depends if the filly is left handed or right handed. Then should follow a fine Romeo y Julietta (a Cuban cigar old sport) and a wedge or two orf very mature stilton.

  2. I’ll tell you who are cunts: those poncey fuckers who spend all day in coffee shops with their laptops out, posing as writers or digital entrepreneurs. Hogging all the tables, acting as though the coffee shop in question is their personal office and looking down their noses at customers with less interesting jobs than themselves, when everyone knows that REAL writers or digital entrepreneurs put in a hell of a lot of hard graft and don’t have hours to waste drinking overpriced coffee. One day very soon I’m going to smack one of these cunts in the face with their cunting MacBook Pro.

      • The time has come to settle accounts with you cunt.

        Your blog will be destroyed in the coming time. You will not know when.

        Then your soul belongs to the reaper.

      • Yep certainly is, Fred : Dave / Ken / Bane / Sean / Cunter / Disabler / Shade / Undertaker inter alia.

        Our favourite paddy bogtrotter is a man of many identities, all of them shite. A kid with an iPad who’s now trying his luck using daddy’s desktop machine. With luck, daddy will catch him and smack his wrist for him.

        Incidentally, I reported him to the EirCom abuse line. Should prove interesting…

  3. Being rather blunt about it, those wimmen who insist on getting their tits out in public to feed their brats “Au-naturel” are usually the first to complain that they are getting ogled by any male in the vicinity. Personally I could not give a shit if they choose to save on a tin of “cow and gate” by feeding from the source, but why do so many of them make a performance of the event?
    It’s breast feeding darlings, not an art form

  4. Mumsnet… quite literally a bunch of cunts.

    Who gives a shit? Its the managements right to decide, if you look like a granola eating, mountain climbing, liberal democrat, bio aware hippy breast feeder type, the management reserves the right to issue the old ‘off you fuck’. I have no problem with breast feeding in public, because I don’t have to look if I don’t want to, and I could not give a shit otherwise.

    What I do give a shit about is some poor sod who wants uphold a certain stiff upper lip standard, and being told he is wrong. My establishment, my rules, feel free to fuck off anytime you don’t want to follow them.

    And a word in the shell like of Mumsnet users. You don’t condone smacking, because its YOUR feral, mouth breathing offspring that are the annoying little cunts that should be flogged within an inch of their lives on a daily basis, to stop them from growing up to be big, selfish, self important cunts. But you feel it necessary to impose your way of reasoning with these young imbeciles and not teaching them any real values.

    As for protecting your kids, you can rest assured even Jimmy Saville would not have ‘fixed it for them’, come to think of it most pederists would give your fucking irritating, tantrum throwing, self important, pampered little terrorists a wide berth. They are not kids, they are just narcissistic impressions of their parents.

    For the love of christ, smack your kids at least once a day, just in case they do something.

  5. I can’t stand these lot who bring their brats into restaurants, honestly whenever we go for a meal we end up in the vicinity of a tribe of fucking Clampetts talking loudly while letting their brats run around screaming. If you want to take your kids out for food fuck off to McDonalds if they can’t behave themselves.

  6. Mumsnet is full of shit… A good clout never did me or any of my generation any harm… If you acted up or behaved like a twat, you’d get a slap… Kids these days do and say what they want, because they know there will be no comebacks or punishment… I see the most spoiled, self centered, noisy little bastards week in week out at the supermarket… I said to my missus ‘If I’d behaved like that my mum would have clouted me. My old man would have murdered me.’ A friend of mine brought up her 2 sons in the 90s without ever raising a hand to them (and fuck knows they deserved it!)… Now they are grown up and are two of the biggest, selfish cunts known to man… That’s the way it is now: kid acts up, kid gets a slap, adult ends up in court while kid acts all innocent like Tweety Bird…. This country has gone fucking mad… Welcome to the Nanny State…

  7. Not too late for all the little bastards who, having failed to get the smacking they deserved as cheeky, unruly, anti-social brats have evolved into granny-bashing, street gang terrorist animal abusers.
    Much as this will offend the liberal left-wingers, I’d bring back the birch, with a public flogging of the scumbags mentioned. Community service orders, laughable “fines” and every social worker in the vicinity springing to their defence with the usual cant of “He grew up in an unstable home” are a complete joke.

  8. When I was a young lad there was a local copper who kids would never give shit to: because we knew what we’d get (a clout off the copper then a clout when we got home)… There was plenty of cheek, but we knew how far to take it… Kids these days aren’t scared of the plod or anyone else… And the sickest part is if you complain to the parents they are as bad as their kids… All toilet mouths and threats… In less than 30 years time the UK is going to be full of feral, selfish, violent cunts with no morals or manners… It’ll be like a scene from Mad Max….

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