Phil Shiner [2]

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This ghastly little socialist solicitor cunt has been making a fat scummy living out orf hounding our Military and pursuing bogus claims against our Armed Forces for years. Can get away with it because we actually have a robust rule orf law in this country and the MOD and HMG complies with it unlike other countries who would just tell a cunt like him to fuck orf. Not only that we shower vast sums orf taxpayers money on the rat faced shite to fund him and his perverse lefty tossing.

Appreciate that in the extreme situations orf modern warfare our troops are no angels but do to a surprising degree follow the rules orf war. Unlike the yanks or any other nationality that you may care to mention. British military discipline remains outstanding despite the rest orf this once great nation degenerating into a crap hole. This Shiner shite has just pushed it one fake claim too far and a vastly expensive publicly funded enquiry costing £31mill has found his allegations against our troops in Iraq to be based upon “deliberate and calculated lies”. For his participation alone in this farrago the twisted cunt has trousered about £3mill.

In the meantime our forces have had to endure a foul and unjustified cloud orf suspicion for ten years principally because, it is reported, Shiner insisted upon nothing less than a full inquiry and a decade orf nice fat fees. Perhaps like many psychotic socialists his problem is that he feels rejected and unloved. Mr Shiner, The Military Corrective Training Centre in Colchester would love to have you.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

Religion

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I fucking hate Christmas and all that goes with it so thank fuck it’s all but over for another year. Now there’s just the left over turkey to get through and we we can forget all the Christian Christmas good will to all men religious bollocks and get back to killing each other.

Religion is an evil cunt. The Jews and Arabs kill each other, the Muslims kill each other for being the wrong sort of muslim, the Catholics and Protestants fucking hate each other – the list is endless! And the trouble with being an atheist is that all the religious nutters want to convert you or kill you. You just can’t fucking win!

Yes, religion is a cunt. If it wasn’t for religion we’d have to find anther excuse for killing each other.

Nominated by: Dioclese

Christmas Telly

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Ever wondered why we eat and drink so much on Christmas Day? Well, it’s simple – it’s because there’s fuck all on the telly, that’s why!

Repeats of old comedy ‘classics’, repeats of old films, fucking Eastenders and Corrie (at least 5 times a day), Doctor fucking Who, Downton pissing Abbey and loads more crap, crap and more crap.

And don’t start me on the films! Independence Day, Jurassic fucking Park, ET, Shrek, 95 Carry On films, Star Trek (the original shite films), Back to the sodding Future, and dozens of other overcooked Christmas turkeys that they roll out every year. It’s fucking shite, that’s what it is.

65% of the BBC schedule this year is repeats because they know there’s nobody watching. And why is nobody watching? Because it’s all repeats and shite. It’s a vicious circle like a cunt with teeth.

Yep, Christmas telly is a right cunt. Watch it today and tell me I’m wrong…

Nominated by: Dioclese

The usual Xmas Telly will be on this year…

TOTP Xmas Special (presented by some Fearn Cotton type tart and with no guitars and drums whatsoever)
The Queen (The usual pointless babbling. While the rest of Blighty is in the shit with the wretched Coalition)
Strictly Come Mincing (A load of ‘look at me’ cunts and nothing more)
Doctor Who (Now known as The Clara Show, thanks to that Moffat cunt. Shite villains guaranteed)
EastEnders (‘I’m avin an affair! Is me sister me mum? You slaaag! Murder! etc)
Some Yank ‘Blockbuster (ie: crap)’ film

Nominated by: Norman

Santa Claus [2]

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Santa Claus is a right evil little cunt!

He breaks into your house, steals your food and drink, bribes your kids with tat and then sneaks into your bedroom and fucks your wife. And to top it all off, he fucked my roof last year parking his fucking sled on it. Bloody broken tiles everywhere.

And the fucking fat gutted cunt gets away with it year after year. Where’s the fucking cops when you need them, that’s what I want to know…

And while we’re at it Santa, where’s me fucking iPod? If I wanted a fucking sweater I’d have asked for it. What a cunt.

Nominated by: Dioclese

Christmas lights

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I’d like to nominate, with my usual festive goodwill, the legions of cunts who put a strain on the National grid by decorating every tree, every bush and every garden gnome in their gardens with flickering lights. The same cunts who vie with each other to decorate their hovels with huge inflatable illuminated Snowmen, Reindeer and even a 10ft Santa that looks like Jimmy Saville. ( I kid you not).

Not sure if their goal is simple one-upmanship, or to provide alien invaders with a landing zone, or merely to piss off the neighbours. Whatever it is, they are cunts of the first magnitude

The picture says it all.

Nominated by: Lez