Monthly Archives: November 2014

Cheryl Cole [4]

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I’d like to nominate cheryl (I love my new sir name Fernandez-Versini) for another cunting.

Cheryl’s angry because X factor warm up man Ian Royce allegedly called her Chery Cole and she’s upset when her name is written as plain old Cheryl and she has called the general public ignorant for not being able to pronounce her name properly. She said “It’s not that hard to pronounce my name phonetically…Fernandez-Versini.” Which is a bit rich coming from some one who can’t pronounce a lot of English words properly.

I suggest Chezza stops buying tattoos for her arse and spends her money on eloqution lessons instead. Singing lessons wouldn’t be a bad idea either.

Eeee Chezza ye’r a reet thick geordie cunt !

Nominated by: Cuntface

The Haka [2]

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The Haka demands a good cunting.

I’m bored to the fucking back teeth of seeing that little dance, but what gets me more are those stupid NZ fans in the stands who now think they need to stick the tongue out like their heroes on the pitch.

Piss right off, cùnts.

Nominated by: Dan

( Can’t be cunted too many times, eh Flaxen?… )

Debbie & Steve Wood

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Beauty is in the eye orf the beholder and Thank gawd love is blind

Debbie Wood 43, Steven Wood 31 (We note the age difference so mercifully little chance orf orfspring. In fact do we believe that Debs is 43?) have just married and naturally plastered the gruesome details all over Facebook. Jumped the broomstick at Halloween to look more normal.

From their Facebook photo the pair orf them look like they have just slipped their minders and escaped out orf some day time TV car crash reality show

Delectable Debbie was paranoid that her tosser boyfriend, now husband, Steve would realise what a fucking mug he was so she trawled his phone, email accounts and bank statements for signs of deviation from the straight and narrow several times a day. This was in addition to forcing the deluded dosser to take a lie detector test to prove he had been faithful each time he entered the house. Now in certain houses orf correction that might be considered a prelude to a blissful night orf bondage and discipline but the poor cunt did not even get that. She married him oh doleful fate. (note must give Steve an introduction to an acquaintance orf mine, Miss Anna Conda, formally orf East Germany)

Mrs Wood, who also suffers from bipolar (naturally) and body dysmorphic disorders (she eats too much), said that her jealousy got worse when the pair moved in together as she tried to monitor Mr Wood’s every move. She installed child-proof filters on his laptop and mobile phone to stop him looking at explicit pictures of women and banned him from watching any television programme featuring women.

“Now, I won’t even let him watch The Weakest Link in case he fancies Anne Robinson but I’m scared he’ll have a sneaky look when I’m in another room”. (And that is sick)

“That’s why I decided to order the lie detector online. It was my only way of knowing for sure if Steve’s eyes were wandering. In general, he’s quite truthful but I have caught him lying a few times about looking at other women.”

Only fair to give the last word to the credulous little cunt himself. From his Facebook page:

“So… The next time I post something on here i will be doing so as a married man…. Who’d have thought eh?? Thanks to EVERYONE who has been with me on this journey of life up to now (too many to mention) and thank you to the amazing woman who in just a couple of hours from now will be my wife… Love you babe and thank you.”

Will two cunts ever deserve each other more? (Sorry Steve, another lesson in life. Sir Limply always gets the last word).

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

Dianne Abbott

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So Ed Miliband’s under fire from some disgruntled Labour MP’s. The least of his troubles considering that Dianne ”Racist hypocrite” Abbott has now defended him. She’s reliable and trustworthy and can be taken at her word…Not…In other words she’ll turn against him as quick as you can say ‘Fat black cunt’.

Remember her hypocrisy preaching to us normal ordinary taxpaying folks to support our local state schools and then sending hers private…God I hate her so much. A hole should be dug just a little larger than her girth and her lowered into it. We could then put a plank of wood across the top with a nice old fashioned wooden crapper attached and shit on her for a few days. After which I think she might have learned her lesson.

If not then use her for ebola experiments.

Nominated by: Fleaboy

( I am staggered that this is her first cunting! Ed. )