The Standing Ovation


I remember as a young lad hearing the old man come in pissed after a night out bleating on about how good the comedian was and that he received a standing ovation. A rare occurrence I was lead to believe. You had to have performed brilliantly, have the audience in the palm of your hand and be top of your game.

But now the standing ovation comes too easily. I’m sorry to say I sat through and suffered the Xfactor one night which deserves a cunting itself if it hasn’t already been cunted. I heard some of the so called talent on that show and to be honest in my opinion most of the cunts couldn’t shout coals up a back lane. But no – the audience think its fucking great. All a contestent has to do is wail like a gospel singer, throw a few dodgy trills in and they’re up on their fucking feet.

For fucks sake sit your arses back in your seats you easy pleased cunts.

Nominated by: Cuntface

My ol’ dad used to say “They’ll clap owt in London” but these days they’ll stand up and clap owt anywhere.

Especially at Party Conferences. and especially when told to do so by the cunt at the front, off camera.

Nominated by: Dioclese

8 thoughts on “The Standing Ovation

  1. ….it’s up there with the Minute’s Applause for a dead cunt.
    What’s happened to the respectful silence?

  2. Do get Cuntfaces’s drift. Standing ovation a yank thing and usually a prelude to getting shafted by one’s colleagues. Not enough recognition orf true talent these days though.

    Recall a late night tube journey through London. Some dosser staggered on well pissed and collapsed in a seat. Driver clearly in a hurry to get home so was gunning it rather and the jalopy was bucketing around more than somewhat. Came the inevitable. A loud fart from the dosser quickly followed by a majestic belch and a perfect arc of amber liquid projected onto the seat opposite, alas unoccupied. A dosser’s rainbow of smart price cider and meths is a thing of awe to behold. No crock orf gold this time but a very respectable nest orf noodles and diced carrots.

    Now most of the travelling punters were too smashed to stand but they followed me lead in a seated round orf applause. And you know, I do believe that the degenerate cunt deserved it.

  3. At the risk of being cunted as one of those sad fuckers who prepares for Christmas too soon, can I suggest we have a Cunt Of The Year competition? Maybe Dioclese could choose 10 or 12 cunts cunted throughout 2014 and we could vote on them throughout December..? Just a thought.

    • For some reason this seems to have been suggested a few times recently FW so doubtless Dioclese will consider it provided it is properly supported by the lazy self abusing cunts frequenting this site.

    • Tell you what Fred, you and Limply select 10 prize cunts and I’ll see if I can find a widget for a poll. There’s a few of them about and I’m sure the Eye could lend a techie eye (no pun intended) to installing same?….

  4. The standing ovation. On a par with Christmas drunks who feel it “festive” to sing along with the worn out shite songs of the 1970’s and in particular, anything by “Black Lace”. The same sort of cunt who still thinks Karaoke events in pubs are brilliant and the tosser who photocopies his arse at office parties.
    People it must be said are in the main stupid and would applaud a wet fart in Church

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