Monthly Archives: January 2014

Froggie Frackers

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France Total

So we are to be Fracked by the Frogs. Cameron has secretly been bulling on with fracking and has awarded contracts to French Energy Company Total.

These Fucking Froggie Frackers have been implicated in using slave labour to build gas pipelines in Burma plus allegations of bribery in most parts of the world in which they operate – Malta, Italy and Iraq (where it is alleged they had Sadam Hussein on the payroll) Italy and Iran in exchange for contracts and not observing safety standards.

Although publicly listed, the company retains close links with the French Government. Just like EDF, the French johnnies Cameron has entrusted with our nuclear energy industry (and stitched us up with contract pricing that will continue to deliver the highest prices for energy in Europe remember).

What better choice then me hearties to be digging up and protecting the delicate balance of so many areas of our most sensitive countryside. We can trust the French can’t we? What a joy it will be when it is finally revealed how much we will have to pay the frogs for the use of our own gas.

Total Energy? Total Cunts more like…

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

One should never trust the French. A nation of opportunistic Cunts. A win-win situation for Cameron of course, as it helps make any secession from Europe more difficult, the UK profits used to shore up his useless Government and if things do go badly wrong, then we can all blame the French for their incompetence.

Nominated by: Toadspanker

Sky TV Commentators

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commentators

The Sky commentary team bores the balls off me.

They’ve long since descended into Match of The Day style chumminess. I don’t give a fuck about Botham and his wine drinking, or Hussein’s big nose.

A shower of matey boring cunts tossing each other’s massive ego off all night long.

Bollocks to them too.

Nominated by: Danb

Vic Flowers and his Barmy Army

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The Barmy Army are a bunch of tedious cunts, but Vic Flowers, the leader, deserves a special mention.

Dressed up like a cunt with his singlet and big hat with St George cross on it, imploring these matey ballbags to commence another of the long since boring ‘barmy army’ chants, they are past their sell by date, just like most of the current England team.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I love my cricket. I went to the first test in Brisbane but the idea that I’d be lumped in with those fuckers would make me puke. Time they fucked up forever – And that bastard trumpeter. Wankers.

Vic Flowers wiki entry says, and I kid you not :

“Flowers is a Roman Catholic and has children, but has not seen them for 20 years.”

Who the fuck could be surprised at that? He looks dodgy – like Bob Grant from On the Buses.

Nominated by: Danb

Dead Pool [8]

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ariel-sharon

* * * * WE HAVE A WINNER! * * * *
Congratulations to our illustrious web master, The All Seeing Eye, who correctly guessed the next cunt to kick the cunting bucket … therefore becoming a dead cunt … would be Ariel Sharon. It was a long wait – 8 years in a bloody coma (Sharon not the Eye).

Here’s a picture of the dead cunt waving us a cheery bye-bye and thanks for all the fish. Let’s hope that the funeral gets less coverage than that other dead cunt, Mandela.

So the slate has been wiped clean and everyone gets to pick a new ‘dead cunt walking’ as we move on to The Dead Pool 8. Here’s the rules :

1. Nominate who you think is next on the way out.
You can have a maximum of three cunts each. Leave names in the Comments.

2. You win if your Cunt dies first.
Then the slate is wiped clean and we start again. Of course, you can always be a cunt and steal someone else’s dead cunt candidate from the last Dead Pool.

Any cunt who tries to cheat by nominating the World’s Oldest Man or Woman is a cunt and will be ignored. The winner gets a dedicated Dead Pool Champion guest post on the subject of his/her choice and kudos of cuntishness aplenty. Oh, and the usual “Our Blog Our Rules” thing applies.