Dead Pool [364]

CDKBY4 Mar. 15, 2011 – Baton Rouge, LA, USA – Television evangelist Jimmy Swaggart breaks down in tears on televised sermon as he confesses his relationship with a prostitute.

Congratulations to Shaun who correctly predicted the next dead dude would be the much celebrated but also controversial pentecostal televangalist and gospel singer .Swaggart died today aged 90 and had been in hospital following a cardiac arrest last month at his home.He ran a telecast on US TV for 54 years sold 15 million rwcords and wrote over 50 books on Christianity.He has was also behind the SonLife radio show broadcast across the States.He is best remembered though for his love of prostitutes being caught with them at least twice in the 1980s and 1990s.When first caught he burst into tears during his I have Sinned Speech only to do it again.Swaggart is survived by his wife of 72 years , his son and several granchildren and great grandchildren.He was predeceased by his cousins Jerry Lee Lewis and Mickey Gilley.

On to Dead Pool 364

The  rules:

1)Pick 5 famous cunts you think will conk out next.Its first come first serve and no duplicates are allowed.You can always be a cunt and steal someone elses nominations from the previous pool.

2)Anyone who nominates the worlds oldest man or woman is a cunt who we will ignore.

3)Nominations must be famous cunts we have heard of.

4)No swapping picks mid pool unless they have already been nabbed by someone else.

5)Hits are awarded based on the chronology of death reporting and not necessarily in chronology of death.

 

 

Jory Rand

Who?, you ask … c’mon … Jory Rand, (Walt Disney company’s) ABC7’s weekend news anchor and an “Emmy Award winning general assignment reporter”.

What’d he do to earn a mention on isac, then?

Well … he spoke over footage of four autonomous Waymo electric cars burning in Los Angeles, spewing thick black noxious poisonous fumes into our precious atmosphere … having all four been stopped in the road by rioters, sorry I mean peaceful protestors, ..and purposely set alight.

(if only St.Greta want too busy on the selfie-flotilla at the time maybe she could have sent an ‘How dare you?’ their way)

Anyways as the four EV’s, worth $700,000 between them easy, belched their fire and smoke, (which followed a whole slew of other violent, criminal behaviours including rocks flung off overpasses, and big surprise the looting of Phone stores, Sportswear stores, Shoe stores, Off Licenses and more but by some miracle the bookstore remained untouched 😆) … Emmy Award winner Jory chose the following words to convey the situation about the cops moving in to stop the outright lawlessness going on.

quote

“It could turn very volatile if you move law enforcement in there the wrong way and turn what is just a bunch of people having fun watching cars burn into a massive confrontation and altercation between officers and demonstrators”

And for uttering that sentence alone, I nominate the guy a cunt.

Daily Fail

Nominated by Cuntemall.

Sebastian Topan

Now I’m not sure but I suspect this ‘journalist’ also works for the BBC. I won’t link information about him as it could be the wrong person.

He’s complained to the BBC because David Walliams was being a total cunt as usual and threw a couple of Nazi salutes whilst pissing about on a panel show.

The usual kind of woke navel gazing entails but the preach of it all was the following quote from the production company.

“Any attempt at humour regarding this deeply offensive gesture, whether broadcast or not, is completely unacceptable in any context.“

No it’s not you cunts.

Sebastian is symptomatic of everything wrong with the BBC now. It seems that doctrine and ideology have removed any understanding of comedy.

Comics will sometimes cross lines but if you cancel them when they do there’s no comedy.

Rosie Jones isn’t funny but Walliams occasionally is.

bbcnews

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Nominated by Sixdog Vomit.

Dead Pool [363]

Conratulations to Wanksock who wins Dead Pool 362 by pickibg the much acclaimed and admired Scottish newscaster and long time ITN foreign correspondent Sandy Gall who died yesterday at 97.He is survived by his children.

On to Dead Pool 363

The rules:

1)Pick 5 famous cunts you think will conk out next.No duplicates allowed and it’s first come first serve.You can always be a cunt and steal someone elses nominations from the previous pool.

2)Anyone who nominates the world’s oldest man or woman is a cunt who we will ignore.

3)It must be a famous cunt we have heard of.

4)No swapping picks mid pool unless they have already been nabbed by someone else.

5)Hits are awarded based on chronology of death reporting not necessarily in line with chronology of death.

 

 

Pukka Pies

Are cunts.

The wife’s going out tonight with her pals, so earlier on she got me a Pukka steak and kidney pie for my tea.

Now please be advised that if you’re considering buying one at any time, the box will promise you ‘layers of crispy puff pastry, minced kidney and tender steak; a rich gravy, and prime cuts of meat’. It will also feature a piece of a sliced open pie, packed with what look like mouth watering chunks of steak.

Prepare yourselves for disappointment however. What you’ll get is most likely what I got; a gravy and cardboard pastry pie. Inside the hard but brittle casing I found a nasty thick sludge with what I think was a little shred of kidney. Of those succulent pieces of meat pictured on the box there was not a trace. Not a fucking sniff.

As you may imagine, this disgusting mess was quickly consigned to the bin, and I rustled up egg, beans and chips with toast instead, but not before I fired off a salvo to the makers of this rubbish, telling them exactly what I thought of their nasty shit. It won’t gain me anything, but at least it helped to lower my blood pressure.

Pukka Pies? More like Fukka Pies, the robbing cunts. Yuk! Caveat emptor!

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Nominated by Ron Knee.