Big Shaq

Sometimes art isn’t subjective, or even art. If thistles is what people are listening to and enjoying, we’re fucked. How anyone can pen some of these lyrics and not immediately suicide is beyond me – examples:

Two plus two is four, minus one that’s three, quick maths

I trap, trap, trap on the phone, movin’ that cornflakes
Rice Krispies, hold tight my girl Whitney (my G)

Man can never be hot (never hot), perspiration ting (spray dat)
Lynx Effect (come on), you didn’t hear me, did you? (nah)
Use roll-on (use that), or spray
But either way, A-B-C-D (alphabet ting)

Fuck me is this actually happening? Are those lyrics? Am I awake?

Listen to this “song”, and I challenge you to not think that whoever made this isn’t an utter cunt.

Nominated by Cunting Rank Wags



Rap is truly evil music. It should be banned outright for the problems it causes. If you need to sample a real song from a real musician to form lame beats, then it isn’t music.

Bunch or stringed together swears and the repeat use of the word nigger. A word whites are supposed to be guilty about for some mongy reason. Bloody Mong music simple as that.

Nominated by: Titslapper

It’s not music, it’s fucking shit brown noise with primary school poetry peppered with profanities.
Speaking of which, it’s fucking shit.

Nominated by: Arsebiscuit

..and Des Lynam doesn’t like it either :

Costadinos Contostavlos


Costadinos Contostavlos, better known by his stage name Dappy, is a violent retarded chav cunt who can’t seem to grasp living in a modern society where women are not ‘bitches’, ignoring a chav cunt is not ‘disrespek innit’ and dressing like a welfare recipient who has just had a major giro error in their favour is not a fashion statement for turning up in court on ABH charges…again.

The pathetic little prick can’t seem to keep his fists to himself for more than five minutes whenever he gets let out of the secure ward with his gaylord homies (or is that homos?) and unleashes it’s talentless fucktardeness on an unsuspecting population.

And to make it worse, it is the sibling of crap knob gobbler and equally talentless chav spoontard Tulisa.

Stupid, stupid cunts. Their father must be so proud.

Nominated by: Odin’s Balls

Dappy. Talentless little wannabee gangsta who thinks he’s a member of the crips.
Amazes me that the weedy little Greek managed to throw a punch without being battered senseless. Truly the worst export from Greece since Nana Mousskouri, with the possible exception of his slapper of a cousin.

The boy deserves a one way trip to the showers in D wing

Nominated by: Toadspanker

Jay Z


Jay Z is a talentless cunt if ever there was one.

His music is unlistenable shite that my dogs arsehole could put together.

It sounds like a combination of Dubstepmoobathontraphousegrungeindieguitarsoulskankingwankfuckbuggerbollockstriphopcuntin
gunfreshshitstainedhandshandysecondhandtrampywank see.

Nominated by: Hurling Dervish

Rap music


Who buys this fucking rubbish? It’s not fucking music, it’s utter shite.

Aggressively chanted bollox with a bit of soft porn thrown in. The only people worse than these cunts are the fuckers that think this rot is entertaining. Cunts.

Nominated by: Termujin

[Eh, man. You dissing me Ratshitter raps? – Dioclese]