Jools Holland [4]

Sorry but I just can’t take it!

It’s New Years Eve and yet again we’re subjected to the pile of substandard musical dross that is Jools’ Annual Hootnanny. Aaaaarrrrrgggggghhhhhhh!!!!!!

This guy is a fantastic boogie pianist, but he never plays any any more. Instead he sits there gurning smugly in front of his piano patronising the so called cream of musical talent that we’re subjected to this evening, just like last year, and the year before, and the year before that…

Of course, he’s not putting himself out because this crock of shite is recorded in October.

At least Jools and I have one thing in common. Neither of us will be watching this shit on New Years Eve.

Nominated by Dioclese

Jools Holland’s Annual Hootnanny [2]


Jools Holland and his filmed on a November afternoon ‘Cuntenanny’ will have an anti-Brexit and an anti-Trump theme this year. It is BBC policy, after all…

Aside from all the usual tuneless crap he has on it every year (Beverley Knight, KT Cuntstall. Muso-Wank Blues Orchestra etc), I guarantee this year’s cuntfest will almost certainly feature Lily The Musical Mong in full massive eppy blubbering spazmotron gobshite mode, and all the BBC royalty celeb cunts Holland licks up to will all say something like ‘Fight Brexit’ ‘Fight Trump’ ‘Stop Hate Crime’ and ‘More diversity on TV’ as their New Year Resolutions.

It’s always a cunt bonanza but cunt spotters this year will be in for a special treat…

Nominated by: Norman

Jools Holland’s Annual Hootnanny


It’s New Year’s Eve and yet again we are going to be subjected to the talentless putile shit that is Jools Holland’s Annual Hootnanny.

It’s enough to drive you to drink – but that’s OK as it’s New Year’s Eve.

Personally, putting shit like this on to see the new year in is all the convincing I need to go to bed and sleep through it.

Bring back Andy Stewart.

Or anything…

Nominated by: Dioclese

Jools Holland [3]


Jooooools Holland

This pretentious fat hunched back lisping cunt has been doing the same act on the BBC for at least three decades. Has showcased more than his fair share orf paedos and old musos on their last legs. Always the same production style as he lisps introductions at the camera as it pans with him across the studio taking in cunts various pretending to do sound checks. He will then join one orf said cunts on the piano which is the only excuse for him being there. Only change over the years is he now dresses all in black to try and disguise his gut. You always know when a crap has been has a record to plug when they turn up on his show.

Elvis Costello, Bryan Ferry and yes Florence and the Fucking Machine. Not to forget the mindless roots music and those ghastly New Year shows (How come this cunt has taken over from Andy Stuart?).

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

Jools Holland [2]


The Biggest Cunt Out Of All Of Them Is That Thumping Turd Who Thinks He’s So Good On the Piano… Cunt Face Penguin Jools Cunt Holland – Complete And Utter Cunt – As much talent as a dead rat.

Contrite Cunt – He should be eaten by Zulus! Useless Cunt.

Nominated by: Makumba

That little toad, Jools Holland, has got his usual array of horsemuck for his (filmed in November) Hootenanny…. Spice Girl, Mel C (there’s a coup!), tuneless Jocks, The Proclaimers, Lisa Stansfield (playing All Around The World for the umpteenth time!), Ray Davies (loved The Kinks. But he’s knackered now!) and Ruby Turner (there’s a fucking surprise!).

In other words, no big names whatsoever… Must be thankful, mind you… At least that atonal mockney bint, Lily Allen isn’t on it… Her cunt of a dad probably will be though…

Nominated by: Norman