Apple [4]

I know the world has gone to shit in a handcart, but FFS! What kind of cunt pays £1,399 for a fucking electronic watch just because – according to Apple – it “inspires wrist envy”??

Presumably the same sort of cunt who pays £499 for the fucking strap to go on it just because it’s made by Hermes and it wraps around your wrist twice so that everyone can tell you’ve got one. Let’s be honest, the watch strap has been around a long time and there’s never been a reason to make it go around your wrist twice. It’s a classic design so why fuck with it? Well, presumably just to inspire wrist envy!!!

And what does the fucking watch do anyway? Well you can use it to make calls because it links to the iPhone in your pocket. Just get the fucking phone out of your pocket you lazy cunts!

And of course you’ll want to upgrade to the iPhone RED so that everyone can see you’re a virtue signalling cunt who pays extra for your phone to support AIDS charities.

Well, here’s a suggestion for all you tossers who want to inspire wrist envy : just tattoo “I’m a cunt” on your wrist. And if you’re embarrassed by it later in life, you can always cover it up with a double looping £499 Hermes watch strap.

You gotta hand it to Apple. They’ve got exploiting snowflakes off to a ‘T’

Nominated by Pedantic Cunt

The iWatch


What the fuck? With all the resources the cunts at Apple are supposed to have they produce something used by Dick Tracey in the 70s.

And what of the useless cunts camping out to say they are the first to have one. As most of these cunts dont look like they have seen a shower and soap for about 6 weeks no doubt the last millions Apple fondled on this latest invention was paid for these cunts to camp outside.

Surely no right minded individual would do so at unless they were paid royally?

Nominated by: King Cunt

The cunts who camp outside a shop overnight for a fucking iWatch are total bellends… I remember in the 90s that HMV (overpriced cunts) opened their store on Market Street, Manchester (said HMV is now closed. Oh dear. How sad. Never mind.) so people could by the new Oasis album (What’s The Story? Load Of Bollocks) at midnight. Anyone who goes into Mcr City Centre at midnight is fucking mad to start with. But to que up for a crap album, a Harry Potter book, or a bloody watch?! There are some real wankers out there…

As for the Apple iWatch, what sort of knob would wear that? I couldn’t go into my local Moston boozer with that on and live it down. Even though I can afford one I would never buy one…. It’s flash, it’s poncey, and the almost religious zeal that meets every new Apple product is sickening…

Nominated by: Norman

( Posted from my Apple MacBook Pro. Ed.)



Apple IFascism – vastly overpriced chinko gear sold to iCunt tossers. Particularly pissed off by that strap line at the bottom orf their messages “sent from my iPhone”.

Who the fuck cares you juvenile wanker?

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

Queues a mile long outside Apples stores all over the world because these they want the latest fucking iShit. FFS get a life!

Must confess a post on mine in similar vein!

Nominated by: Dioclese

( Written on my MacBookPro )