Allergy Sufferers

Whilst deaths caused by food allergies are tragic, they deserve some scrutiny and thereby I will prove that the victims deserve a cunting.

It seems these days that you cannot board a plane without a warning coming over the Tannoy announcing that “a passenger is allergic to peanuts” and for whom the merest whiff of a peanut will kill them. In such circumstances, we tend to roll our eyes and think “whatever”. Such thoughts are caused by snowflakes crying wolf over allergies; your average millennial now being burdened with lactose intolerance, gluten intolerance and so forth.

Returning to genuine sufferers, some responsibility must lie with them to be cautious. Peanuts are ubiquitous, so it must be a trial to avoid these foodstuffs and their toxic vapours. If I feared for my life in such a manner, I would go and live on a remote Scottish Island, but, no, they have to go jetting around the world spoiling my inflight meals.

The deaths associated with Pret a Manger are tragic. However, it should be noted that Pret was operating within the law – the company having no requirement to list ingredients on its in-house products. If I were a sufferer, and merely eating a sandwich required me to inject adrenalin in order to avoid death, I would be somewhat circumspect about which fast food outlet I bought from. Certainly, I would be armed with a knowledge of the law on ingredients listing. I definitely would not board an aircraft with a mystery sandwich knowing that I would be 5 hours away from medical care. I might even make some butties at home. You see, I have an aversion to my own death.

The victims that come to the attention of the media are pretty, middle class, millennial females. I’m not going to directly cunt these victims because I don’t want to be thought of as heartless. But we all know that millennial is a synonym for CUNT.

If you think I’m being harsh, I rest my case with this story.

What kind of allergy sufferer would go to a Northern, side-street Indian takeaway in the hope that the proprietor would give a fuck about her allergies?

Nominated by Sgt Maj Cunt

60 thoughts on “Allergy Sufferers

  1. One of the funniest things I ever saw in this regard was when travelling on Southwest Airlines in the States (where else?) about 20 yrs ago. I ordered a drink and was given a packet of salted peanuts with it. On the packet was printed;
    ‘WARNING. This product may contain peanuts’.
    The stewardess was at a loss to know why I corpsed on the spot.
    Allergies aren’t funny though. A few years ago my wife lost so much weight and had such gut disorder our GP thought she had cancer. Turned out she had developed a severe intolerance to gluten. it’s a cunt, but a lot better than the Big C, I suppose.

    • Ron, I’m glad your wife is well. This cunting is, of course, very much tongue in cheek. (Unlike my one on slavery). Best wishes to your missus.

      • I think its a given your cunting is tongue in cheek Sarnt Major, nevertheless a worthy one. Gluten and lactose intolerance are indeed hideous and dangerous to those affected. I wonder why the high prevalence of all allergies exist and have multiplied several fold over the last few decades.
        A normal 2 up 2 down childhood, we didn’t have allergies but got mumps, measles and chicken pox. We were going to Butlins in the mid sixties and I got chicken pox, my arl fella decided to sling we three boys in the same bed the month before we went so we would all get it – we did and Butlins was a lot of fun for a 7 year old plastered in calamine lotion.
        On to school, firstly an infants and junior church school then on to a boarding school (a seminary of all things!!) – the only thing I remember regarding allergies was kids who wouldn’t eat their cabbage. The grub was all made on site by big fat middle aged (but loving) “school cooks” and was of its day – lots of stodge and animal fats.
        In the services the grub ranged from shite to excellent and I still couldn’t name a guy who was allergic to anything food wise.
        Having children of my own no allergies in them or their peers. The only correlation I can see to todays youth seems to be the protected and cocooned lifestyle they have lead /lead and the almost clinical way that life has become – everyone scared to death of germs or bugs and life that is homogenised. I am no conspiracy theorist but there seems to be a strong correlation in the drugs pumped into our kids in cocktails and our guts are so clean we have no immunity to the odd nasty lurking around. Antibiotics wont work for the same reason – they rely on some form of reaction when used to build the tolerance. The youth of today have tolerance to fuck all. Just a thought 😉

      • I think its a given your cunting is tongue in cheek Sarnt Major, nevertheless a worthy one. Gluten and lactose intolerance are indeed hideous and dangerous to those affected. I wonder why the high prevalence of all allergies exist and have multiplied several fold over the last few decades.
        A normal 2 up 2 down childhood, we didn’t have allergies but got mumps, measles and chicken pox. We were going to Butlins in the mid sixties and I got chicken pox, my arl fella decided to sling we three boys in the same bed the month before we went so we would all get it – we did and Butlins was a lot of fun for a 7 year old plastered in calamine lotion.
        On to school, firstly an infants and junior church school then on to a boarding school (a seminary of all things!!) – the only thing I remember regarding allergies was kids who wouldn’t eat their cabbage. The grub was all made on site by big fat middle aged (but loving) “school cooks” and was of its day – lots of stodge and animal fats.
        In the services the grub ranged from shite to excellent and I still couldn’t name a guy who was allergic to anything food wise.
        Having children of my own no allergies in them or their peers. The only correlation I can see to todays youth seems to be the protected and cock ooned lifestyle they have lead /lead and the almost clinical way that life has become – everyone scared to death of germs or bugs and life that is homogenised. I am no conspiracy theorist but there seems to be a strong correlation in the drugs pumped into our kids in cocktails and our guts are so clean we have no immunity to the odd nasty lurking around. Antibiotics wont work for the same reason – they rely on some form of reaction when used to build the tolerance. The youth of today have tolerance to fuck all. Just a thought 😉
        Ha, I see using the word cockooned (when spelt correctly) got my original modded

        • Cunto you are in my humble opinion spot. I’m 57 no known allergies just the normal getting old issues but fairly healthy. All my work colleagues are similar ages again with no allergies I know of and even the young lad in the firm is one of us. Your assessment of the use of super anti septic surface wipes and sprays fucking baby wipes and generally removing youngsters away from ALL germs not just the really nasty ones. Surely the medical requirements for protection from the really serious bugs are important but not the lesser ones that give some protection against the everyday illness.
          Again there is something seriously dark about all this allergy and illness that is probably being propagated by big business.

      • “What kind of allergy sufferer would go to a Northern, side-street Indian takeaway in the hope that the proprietor would give a fuck about her allergies?”.

        It was obviously a high class establishment, Sgt Maj., judging by their curtains in that BBC report. I am sure tabloid newspapers on your window is what they call *on-trend* these days (or *on-point*, whatever that is supposed to mean). But certainly *cool*.

        I should imagine hygiene is the lowest priority for all these frightful back street shops. Some of those in London look more like the back room of a pet shop.

        • Try the kebab shop in Blackpool where the Muzzy child- predators had disposed of one young white girl’s body,after years of sexual abuse, by putting her through the kebab machine.

          Cunts.

          • Yes Dick,
            Too easily forgotten that young lady. The race to equality, diversity, genderless and Godless cunts rages on. The 18 headlines on MSN contain the drivel of the Gnardiu, Observer, Mirror, Time and of course the Cuntpufton Post. I am convinced we are approaching end of days. The world and my country in particular is not worth a wank. Despite my prolonged protestations that England is better than this, was, and could be again I feel the evangelising and bigging up of my glorious birthplace is wasted. Much happier I am nearer the exit than the entry door, and I never heard my parents or grandparents voice such an opinion. They always had faith in the future and in particular England. I did but I don’t now. If it was a wounded animal it would be euthanized without a second thought to terminate its misery and the rump of England is rotten to the core in need of a swift end.
            Fuck them

          • Quite right, Cunto.

            I remember my parents moaning about the “youth of today”,but I never heard them opine that the Country had passed the point of no-return. It was always “When you’re older…you’ll grow out of it” etc.,and they were right. People tend to lose their naivety as they grow older and experience real life. The trouble is that this generation seems to be too self-absorbed and weak to realise just where this Country is headed.
            Personally,I have no family that I give a damn about,so as far as I’m concerned,they can create whatever type of “inclusive” shithole that they want,can’t imagine that I’ll be around to see the final outcome of the “Great Experiment”…..good, I wouldn’t want to be.

          • Yes Dick, people do grow out of their naivety as they get older unless you Jeremy Corbyn.

        • Should hunt it down but read report of an ethnic colleague running food place who refused to use bog roll but wiped his arse with his hand. Environmental Health analyse brown stuff on food containers and sure enough, it’s shit. Fucking beggars belief.

      • Oh she’s fine thanks Sgt Maj. She recovered pretty much as soon as we knew what the problem was, and what to avoid.
        Fully appreciate that your tongue was very much in your cheek on this one mate.

  2. My thoughts exactly, Sgt Maj. Yes it’s a tragedy and it’s a horrible way to die. But if I suffered from one of these allergies, and I knew certain ingredients could be fatal, would I put my life in the hands of cunts who didn’t know me and didn’t give a toss? Not fucking likely, I’d make my own and take it with me.

  3. When I was at school,there wasn’t a single child suffering from an “allergy.” Most of these children aren’t suffering from anything more than a case of over-indulgent,soft parenting…”oh,our little Tarquin is allergic to wheat,dairy etc.” Load of bollocks.I bet the little buggers wouldn’t be so allergic if they lived in one of those shitholes where people were starving.
    If I was on a plane, I’d be fucking furious and rather vocal if someone tried to stop me from eating my peanuts. Why should my flight be spoiled because of some poorly-reared brat? If there was a child truly suffering from an allergy, it would only be suffering from the allergy because the parents had raised it poorly…early exposure to a bit of dirt is the answer to most of these weakling childrens’ health problems. They are raised in nasty little sterile,bleach-scoured boxes,never venturing outside,by parents afraid to let them be children….run to the “free” doctor at the merest hint of any illness. Pandered-to and mollycoddled brats,in the main.

    Allergies,indeed….no,in most cases weak parenting and an unhealthy,outdoor lifestyle is to blame…

    Fuck them.

      • Afternoon Mr Fiddler, a programme of cold showers, basic rations and five mile runs with the hounds at their heels on the Fiddler Estate will sort these soft-headed cunts out.

        • Indeed,L.L…..Such a regimen would be equally effective in many other cases where people are suffering the symptoms of an undiagnosed (apart from by me) illness…..I believe that many “modern” problems could be solved if only the NHS would adopt my progressive ideas.

          • I remember ME, the yuppy flu. I saw 3 colleagues go down with it and HR pandered to their every fucking whim. They were swinging the lead, no more. One spent 2 years on the sick and as it was a US company, rather extraordinarily, they were paid full salary, bonuses although they didn’t even contribute, company mobiles, home office, laptops and cars, even swapping to a nice new motor when the Lex leasing ran out half way through his “illness”. It was the start of the rot for me, just after the millennium soft cunts sprouted up like wild strawberries and every whim pandered to. The outbreak that was to blight a generation petered out when Maggie was stabbed in the back and the world class thief, war criminal and stratospheric cunt B Liar took the reigns. After all, there was no need to fake anything, the state provided for all the feckless, reckless and utterly workshy of the World.

    • Hear hear Dick!

      Was thinking about to my school days and can’t remember anyone in my year or the years close to mine who had some kind of allergy. I can only remember one fat kid as well.

      Kids and their poncy fucking parents, eh? Still, this week cheered me up a little. It absolutely shit down rain, plus very high winds, thunder storms and a tornado warning or two on Wednesday night – Halloween. No tick or treating for the local dwarf scrounger population. Good. Instead of banging on strangers’ doors and demanding sweets, how about handing over your pocket money to the tax payer and thanking them for helping to build and run your school? Little shits. Fuck off and die the lot of you.

    • How many have you tried? Maybe the first one happened to have gonorrhea or herpes or something. Be more discerning in your choice of female partner, and you may find yourself waving goodbye to dick forever.

  4. I developed an allergy to molluscs and crustaceans in my mid forties, fuck knows why? had a belter of a shellfish platter one evening and swelled up like a balloon, hotel called an ambulance took me to A&E pumped me full of adrenalin and steroids and went home. Two weeks later dad some more seafood outside the pub and fuck me back in casualty so I had a test and fuck me I have an allergy. I take care of myself, eat where it is appropriate to do so and if I eat out I take my epipen and tell them I am a fucking wierdo.

  5. Since leaving the eu started I find I am much more sensitive to bullshit than I used to be. Must have an allergy to political statements, getting so bad that carrying an epipen would be a good idea. One of the cunts starts banging on about Brexit destroying the population of green legged boomer birds or some such shite and I have a problem breathing and turn very red according to the wife, pulse through the roof and mad eyes. If that’s not an allergy to bullshit I am a Dutchman’s uncle.

    • Brexit causing allergy’s. Something to do with the possible changes to architects certification lowering the stabber’s immune systems ability to function in a normal state rendering them Cuntatonic and feeding their stabbing desire.
      Shit just done more to explain the London stabathon than Sadick and flabbot combined and another reason why Brexit is sooo bad.
      Absinthe is a great help to the muse.

      • It seems on this one that Cressida Dick has, after a long career in policing, finally read her fucking job description, i.e. that police should focus on violent crime and burglary. Cunt.

        • Yeah, but only after she saw the huge positive response her colleague Sara Thornton got for speaking out against the waste of police time and resources on non-crimes like misogyny and related PC nonsense at the expense of “core policing”.

          Box ticking, virtue signalling cunt. She has a degree in Divinity you know… FFS.

          • Bloody hell, RTC !

            I never knew that about our favourite Plod.

            I ought to have guessed: not difficult to imagine her as a female cleric. They seem to become decidedly asexual, and rather “upholstered” in appearance…

  6. I read somewhere recently that a major airline was switching away from the inflight peanut snack in favour of pretzel snacks because some arseholes have a peanut allergy. Turns out the % of people with such an allergy is beyond fucking miniscule. So the rest of us, the 99.999999999999999999999%, don’t get peanuts because one cunt in a fucking billion might whiff it and croak. Lovely. Why don’t these people just fuck off? I just don’t see why my choice of something should be impacted by somebody else’s weakness. Cunts. Just die already.

  7. I’ve got an allergy to fecking idiot fecking safety warnings on the goggle just caught a snatch of programme called ‘money for nothing’ with that twat Arthur Smith narrating, the old sort is gluing stuff together and jovial Arfur says ‘ remember glue is dangerous ‘ ,cunt, cunt ,cunt. But in next scene somebody is using a chain saw but not a word of the dangers. CUNTS ive come out in a rash from the steam and rage issuing forth. Arthur a twat of the top draw.

    • Arfur Smith is ripe for a cunting. I suspect that behind that fucking wood alcohol voice and man of the people attitude, Arfur probably dresses like Noel Coward in a smoking jacket, eats caviar and his real speaking voice is as poncy as Anthony Blair.

      He used to pollute the air on Radio 4 Extra with his fucking unfunny comedy club, interviewing snowflakes and licking their arses while he did it. Cunt.

      • His best joke was that he once entered a Marathon and ended up with chocolate, nougat (pronounced nugget) and peanuts down his Japs eye. However….. Marathons had been Snickers for yonks at that point and it was so crass a joke it barely raised a titter. Arfur Smiff is an unfunny cunt who the alBBC pay lots of our money to.

  8. My local B&Q is massive, is under staffed and nothing is ever in the correct aisle.
    So whatever I need, wether it’s paint, timber or anything else, I make straight for the power tools and try starting up a chainsaw, staff appear from nowhere and they’re very helpful….

  9. Asia Bibi…… the woman in Pakistan just released after doing 8 years for blasphemy. Millions of Joe Dakis want her head on a spike so she and her husband have applied for asylum in US, Canada and UK.
    No prizes for guessing where she ends up. Nice house in some quiet village well away from the peacefuls. Plenty plenty whitemans benefits.

  10. Hard on the heels of the attempt to discredit legitimacy of referendum via Arron Banks witch hunt, we have coincidentally:

    **Project Fear Mk.3**

    “More than 70 major business leaders have called for a second referendum on Brexit.
    Bosses from major high street companies such as Waterstones and Sainsbury’s warned Theresa May’s Brexit proposals are “bad for business and bad for working people”.
    Waterstones chief executive James Daunt, ex-Sainsbury’s chief executive Justin King, Lastminute.com founder Baroness Lane-Fox and Innocent Drinks co-founder Richard Reed were among signatories of a letter calling for a People’s Vote on leaving the EU.

    The letter argues both the government’s plans for Brexit and a no-deal Brexit would leave the country worse off than it would being part of the EU.”

    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-46086336

    • Liked that post. All the new Supermarkets now opening are German! Now the Krauts aint gonna invest in a dying country are they RTC?

      • Presumably Asim the Krauts have bought into Project Fear and believe the UK supermarkets will all go out of business following Brexit?

        Either way, as long as I can still get Mr Kipling Treacle Tarts and tins of Ambrosia Devon Custard, what the fuck do I care?

    • They’ve been joined by 1500 lawyers now. Which strikes me as excellent justification for a no-deal exit right now this minute, hopefully leaving them stranded in Belgium. If it inconveniences lawyers even slightly, why wait?

  11. Dawn Bulging arse Butler: Why was she wearing an African tribal outfit at PMQ’s? She is no more African than I am straight. All she does is sit there trying to mock the PM. Fuck off back to bongo bongo land darling.

  12. Allergy sufferers are like vegans, you wouldn’t know it so they fucking tell you. I’m allergic to nuts or thought I was and by a painful process of elimination, by accidentally eating nuts, I’ve narrowed it down to just Brazil nuts. Which is great because now I can eat hazelnuts, cashews, almonds etc whereas I had a childhood avoiding every fucking one. I had a healthy post war upbringing, played outside, mostly football everyday, yet I’m fucking well allergic to at least 16 out of 20 common or garden allergens. I’m a lifelong asthmatic. This year I had sepsis, a complete immune system collapse and the allergies are now very much worse. I manage it though, and wouldn’t be so stupid as to eat something possibly dodgy. The bane of it is I can’t tolerate cats, dogs, horses or anything furry (muff is ok) . I’d really like a dog or cat but I can’t have pets. I don’t fucking moan, I don’t want special treatment, I just manage it with medication and I’m fucking well careful. It’s a real pisser that allergy sufferers, lactose intolerants and gluten intolerants want special treatment. Like the lazy blambos wanting slave reparation hand outs, there are a lot of real snowflake cunts out there who are special and different. It’s these self obsessed cunts to which I’m most fucking allergic. Cunts, all of them.

  13. I’m currently watching “Hobson’s Choice” on the old film channel. Must say that Charles Laughton plays an admirable character. Hobson is a man after my own heart.

      • Jon Snow is partial to a white poppy.

        I would love to see that Marxist cunt savagely cut down by a generous spray of bullets.

      • These white poppy cunts need to experience real pain in a real war, they would soon stop being virtual signaling Snowflakes hiding in their safe spaces.
        Fuck me , they make me so angry, all they are doing is diverting people’s attention from the real issues and muddying the water.

  14. Brexit: Top lawyers say another EU vote is ‘democratic’

    Baroness Kennedy is among the legal figures supporting another Brexit referendum

    MPs have been urged to back another Brexit referendum by 1,400 of the UK’s top lawyers.

    They have written to Prime Minister Theresa May to say that Parliament should not be bound by the 2016 vote.

    FUCK OFF YOU ELITIST TWATS. YOU LOST. GET OVER IT.

      • Bloody hell. Aaaaagh feck.
        Her, and Cheroot Blair, and that Liebore wimminz who perved the course of justice over some motoring offence.

        Mangy, wild dogs running the streets….

  15. No let’s have another vote cos I know a few remain voters who will vote out of there is another vote and I expect there are quite a few of them to be truthful. Because now it wouldn’t just be a vote for out of the EU it would be a vote for democracy and I I’d like to think even some fucking dumb snowflake cunts can see without democracy we are all doomed.
    But there again it could be the carbon monoxide I’ve been breathing.

  16. Hayever used to be the only allergy people had, including me. Now every cunt is allergic to everything.
    Perhaps it’s the planet’s way of calling time.

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