Chris Evans [5]

I detest the four-eyed ginger Spacca. I just wish that he’d been to school with me. I’d have bullied the Cunt relentlessly until he couldn’t speak without a stutter and pissing himself. Wouldn’t have made much of a DJ if he swamped the studio with drool and piss every time he tried to open his flap.

I haven’t listened to the bastard for months. I couldn’t stand the endless talk about his family,very big house in the country and cars. However this morning after that fucking “Angels” song by Robbie (arsebandit) Williams started up on my new channel, I retuned to Radio 2. I was just in time to hear The Cunt Evans banging on about “Glasto” next year. That was enough for me,anyone who talks about “Glasto” is obviously a rampaging half-wit.

I had hoped that after getting the sack from Top Gear that the braggart would be so ashamed that he would load his family into one of his “I’ve just bought such and such car for £250k, blah,blah,blah) vehicles, loop a 50 yard long rope around all of their necks,tie one end to a tree in the grounds of his country estate and drive off at 90mph.

Apparently Evans has been encouraging his 5 year old son to wear a dress…as a DJ,I wonder if Chris’ll Fix It for the child to make an early appearance on the celebrity circuit?

Fuck him.

Nominated by Dick Fiddler

73 thoughts on “Chris Evans [5]

  1. I know people who think this knob is a comedy genius. He’s a skinny streak of useless piss and i’d love to smash his face into a pulp.
    Does anyone know if he is a remoaner? I bet he is the cunt.

    • He’s very much a Remoaner, Freddie. That was half my problem with the Cunt. It was endless snidey little comments whenever he could slip them in. Lets be honest,he wouldn’t have kept his job very long with the BBC if he was pro-Brexit.

      • I fucking knew it! Yeah, of course he’s rich as fuck and BBC. He couldn’t be anything else but a remoaner.
        Hate the cunt even more now.

        • Rich as fuck and a beeby bastard and a remoaner. Ginger and annoying makes him just about as likeable as Fred West (not you Fred of ISAC fame – the real one). I think about it like this – the BBC have to extort 23,489 licence fees each year to pay for the ugly ginger cunt and jugs linemepockets. Let that just sink in a while – not a one off – each and every year 23,489 poor cunts have to stump up what is a tax by any other name to keep 2 of the biggest talentless stars in clover. My purple headed piss dispenser is about to explode.

  2. So ugly and with such an annoying voice that every time he leaves his house, he ought to be forced to wear a burqhu.

  3. I thank the Gods every day that I’m not ranger/ginger, though I’m a carrier as my father and brother are.

  4. Had the misfortune to hear the cunt on radio sometime last week. Kept going on about some new abba music shitfest or something a sequel to mumma mia whatever that was. Has the whole World gone fucking mad?? Do people really take notice of this awful cunt and fuck me abba were singing bollocks when I was at school back in 73. I thought they had all died. Live and learn I suppose.

  5. Is he related to James O’Bellend? He does share similar facial characteristics.

    Can’t even remember what he sounds like its been so long. He looks well annoying and that’s enough for me. The cunt.

  6. I refer learned cunters to my comments a couple of threads ago regarding people over 30 and non-Italian looking like absolute cunts driving around in Ferraris.
    This annoying twat is proof…

  7. Evans, O’Shithead, Owen Jones – all hatched from the same egg… fertilised by gobs of bukake jizz lifted from a shit smeared Southern Rail toilet seat.

    • That was a pretty robust and graphic description! Rail journeys giving you grief at the moment? Cunting trains, madness inducing cattle wagons.

      • I haven’t been on a train for over 10 years Cunty. I was merely quoting from a biographical article in the Grauniad.

        Not that I ever read the Grauniad of course, except in extremis…

        • Didn’t think you would be the type to put up with Southerns abysmal service. I pity any working sod using trains this summer.. fuck that!

          • You can spare a thought for my wife then – commuting 3 hours every day, round trip to Londonistan, cattle class. Insane.

            Still, it gets her out the house.

  8. A grotesque, gargoyle-faced ex-ginger prick who now has to cover his thinning white hair in henna to keep up his ‘ginger’ persona.

    An insufferable prick on Radio 2, who has to surround himself with a team of sycophantic, fawning inadequates to massage his enormous ego and to bolster what would otherwise be a piss weak formula. I cannot abide this monster ringpiece and stopped listening to R2 very many years ago. Gold is now my station of choice.

    A faux ginger cunt if you will.

  9. Evans boasted a couple of times on the radio about his son,5 years old,wearing a dress out in public. Apparently Evans and his wife believe that it is a good thing that the child can “express” himself.
    They should be charged with corruption of a minor,encouraging deviancy and general bumfoolery. Perhaps Evan’s child can share his growing-up experiences with Tom Daley’s “son” and Elton John’s unfortunate offspring. What kind of a parent puts their desire to be seen as “right-on” above the kids mental wellbeing?….Deviants,thats who.

    • Chapter one of the ‘Celebrity Snowflake Remoaner’s Parenting Manual’ states: “One must ensure that one and one’s offspring are fully at one with the zeitgeist, darlings…”

      Of course, said manual’s audience is composed of cuntwombles who are unable to distinguish faeces from raisins and who uniformly believe sugar diabetes to be a Welsh pugilist, the stupid, stupid, ignorant cunts.

  10. One of the most consistently annoying Cunts out there ,Ginger Bollocks quite clearly has based his entire career and persona on that of his former employer and idol,maggot faced UberCunt Richard Branson. Both play the chirpy,nice guy, down to earth, libtard,capitalism-with-a-human face spiel ad nauseum whilst all the while you (should) know they are both ruthless,greedy,selfish,money grabbing exploiters of Shylockesque proportions.If only the Evans cunt would book a seat on one of the Branson cunts space tourism inauguration flights alongside Branson himself and …….well,you know the rest.An excellent cunting by Mr Fiddler but I prefer this photo of the 4 eyed Ginger dripping cunt

  11. How this cunt achieved fame and fortune will for ever be a mystery to me. Perhaps he’s got a photo of Greg Dyke giving Jimmy Saville a wank.
    I’ll leave you with that vision as you tuck into your sago pudding.
    Good evening.

  12. Slightly off topic, but…

    Not content with calling for Andrew Neil to be sacked from the BBC for “extreme right wing bias” snivelling crybaby Owen Jones is now trying to silence Nigel Farage by urging businesses to put pressure on LBC (Leading Britain’s Conversation) by withholding their sponsorship and advertising until Nigel is dropped.

    I listen to Farage regularly, and have not once heard him say anything that comes close to hate speech, unlike James O’Shithead who spouts it almost continuously and has three times the airtime every week to do it in.

    Beyond cuntishness.

    • The worst thing is, the campaign against Nigel will probably succeed. Just threaten a few corporations with reduced profits or a tarnished repitation and they’ll roll over.
      It’s what social media was created for.

      • @ Mr Bastard & Fenton

        For once I do not think they’ll succeed… Nigel is too popular and does too good a job in his new role as broadcaster for LBC to want to lose him. And besides, none of the accusations stand up, if anything Nigel isn’t forceful enough in expressing his opinions, and never rude to callers who he bends over backwards to give a fair hearing to. Unlike as I said James O’Brian who regularly refers to Nigel as a racist in the pocket of billionaire businessmen and worse. Nigel on the other hand, if pushed, merely concedes he and O’Bighead differ in opinion, never anything stronger.

        Anyway, there’s no sign yet that the sponsors are agreeing to Jones & Co’s hysterical demands. On the broader canvas however things are not looking good for free speech in this country- never known it to be under so much threat before in my lifetime…

        • So if I say “I fucking hate Owen Jones” (because he’s an odious little prick, obviously) is that illegal?

          Because I really do…

    • Agree Ruff Tuff, a very cynical move by the cunt Jones. Now infowars has been shut down on YouTube by all the left wing social media. Can’t remember a time when freedom of speech has been silenced to such a degree in Britain. Where’s that Norwegian bloke Anders Brevik when we need him ?

  13. Founded a dot com co. at the very start, and sold it for £80 million.! Rich cunt.!

  14. Ho ho, even before the end of the first sentence, I knew that this was a Dick Fiddler cunting!
    It’s also rather cunty of him to be becoming a father yet again at the age of 52 (increased chance of monginess) and further cuntiness is bestowed upon him for having 3 children already in an over-populated world.

  15. Evans is from Orford in Warrington but he couldn’t wait to fuck off to London back in the mid 80’s when he abandoned the girlfriend that he’d just got pregnant.

    Evans is a ruthless selfish cunt who’s chosen specialist subject, should he ever appear on Mastermind, would be Chris Evans.

    All this ‘I’m a family man’ shite is simply to assuage his own gilt about abandoning his pregnant girlfriend all those years ago.

    Genuinely the ginger cunt cut her off, she didn’t exist, sure he recently reconciled with his daughter and did all that making up for the past by buying her a house for her wedding but to me it just reinforced the fact he’s a cunt.

    He’s past his sell by date and needs to just fuck off.

  16. Nice to hear that Boris is refusing to apologise for his “burqa” comments…

    • The inevitable happened and he was reported for a ‘hate crime’, I couldn’t see how outraged the young woman who reported him was because she was wearing a burqa.

      • If Boris is refusing to grovel to the peacefuls then for once he’s got a finger on the pulse.
        It will be interesting to see the outcome of this contretemps.
        The snowflakes won’t just let it go, that’s for sure.

    • Jump media player

      Media player help

      Out of media player. Press enter to return or tab to continue.

      Prime Minister Theresa May says Boris Johnson ‘has caused offence.

      Well Theresa, you have caused 17.4m Leave voters offence with things that you have said and done.

      Are you going to apologise, or are apologies only for when Peacefuls are upset?

      • Interesting post Willie.

        Btw, no-one takes any notice of Appeaser any more. The lights may be on but nobody’s in office.

        COTY 2018.

      • I don’t imagine Boris Johnson will be overly perturbed at anything Theresa ‘more reverse gears than an Italian tank’ May has to say.

        Nor should he; May is the most incompetent, mealy-mouthed Conservative Prime Minister in living memory, and let’s face it she’s not short of competition for that particular accolade.

        • A sort of “female” John Major (I seem to remember some link with circus acts ?). I really don’t want to see “her” Y-Fronts.

          But it could be worse.

          In 2020 (when we shall STILL no doubt be chained to the stinking bum that is Brussels, PM Soubry will put an emergency call to the Fourth Reich:
          “Bonjour, guten Tag, we are having some civil unrest. Please send EU army tanks &c. over to reassure the populace that they have nothing to fear from an EU-led government.”

          Just like Hungary in ’56 and Czecho in ’68.

  17. Evening gents. Been off for a couple of days as I’ve started a new job and spend most of the bastard day driving to and from it. Very encouraged by the latest cuntings and as always, I find myself nodding at the comments that follow.

    Where do we stand on this Infowars censorship? I found their output a bit OTT at times but the fact that they can be completely banished from the net by the big 4 tech companies is a bit worrying for future freedom of speech.

    • This censorship is a slippery slope, and I can imagine it won’t be long before this website falls foul of the increasingly draconian hate speech laws.

  18. if i pass a woman in the street wearing a full face veil i just have to say to her ‘ you don’t have to wear that, you’re making a big mistake, you look fuckin stupid ‘ am i committing an offence?

    • .I’m always tempted to say ‘It’s The Doc-Tor! Exterminate!’ or ‘Oh, hello, Mrs Vader’….

  19. To be honest that was the one thing that endeared me to him – he pulled BP when she was 18 and he was about the age I am now. I mean, in *our* world that is obviously wrong. But the cunt did work for Al-beeb at the time…..some manager probably took him aside and said ‘Chris………do you not think she’s a bit old for you, mate? Jimmy downstairs – we can probably straighten this out you loveable gerontophile’

  20. Paloma Faith’s pussy is the hairiest thing in the known universe. Here’s a picture of the pathetically unfunny “Pub Landlord” having a good old gander at Paloma’s thatch…

    • Bugger me it smells orf mothballs. Looks like an out take from The African ueen (bugger me key is sticking again) – no not Chuka Umuna. That missing scene where Bogart tongue fucks Katherine Hepburn and gets stuck to her clit.

      • Both Billie Piper and Paloma Cunt look like they’re the daughters of the Bay City Rollers drummer….

  21. Surely we have not forgotten what a spectacular failure the ginger gobshite was when it fronted Top Gear after the Clarkson fiasco. Ginger tantrums with all and sundry. Could not do commentaries and drive at the same time. Insanely jealous of fellow presenter Matt Leblanc. Got its ginger arse fired for being thoroughly obnoxious – some feat on the BBC. Then it came out that the cunt was getting paid twice as much as Leblanc.

    And fuck if this post makes it still no auto complete.

    • I wondered what the fuck happened to the auto complete, I haven’t used my password in years, I’ll be fucked if I remember it!

  22. Loathe the overrated cunt,tried to be one of the lads in the 90,s with that TFI shit,hate his stupid glasses and his horrid voice and detest his loathsome groooovy personality

    • And the cunt is still doing the same TFI routine what ever show it fronts. Can’t teach an old cunt new tricks.

  23. She appeared incorrectly dressed, as her plungers were noticeably absent.

    Apparently, she gets insulted once a week. Surely a man who owns his livestock is allowed to do that ?

  24. To be fair to the gender pay myth harridans, they’re right that they deserve more money than Chris Evans. Simply by virtue of not being Chris Evans.

  25. All I remember about this self absorbed sack of ginger shit was from his bbc radio days, Evans endlessly regaling viewers about his legendary ( in his own mind) drinking sessions whilst the sycophantic team of holly hotlips and wanker john revel laughed for their jobs!!
    “ you should have seen us “ ( forced laughter) “ omg you should have seen us” ( more forced laughter) ….Well personally the only place I would have liked to see you was under a bus you fucking ginger tool……..

    • Oddly enough ‘Johnny Boy’ Revell recently called the ginger chugnut out for bullying during his time at the BBC.

      I used to think that Holly Hotlips was prized muff around 20 years ago. Looking at pictures of her around 1996 now she looks pretty unremarkable. I blame it on my (then) mid 20’s testosterone.

  26. My 2p’s worth

    Can remember a few years back when a pilot was tragically killed at one of Evans’ Car Fest events. Evans was on the news that Sunday night talking to the media, glasses off looking fucking distraught. Remember thinking “well, he’ll not be on the radio for a few days after having to deal with something like that”…
    Fucking Monday morning, put Radio 2 on and there’s Evans making silly noises down the microphone laughing and joking with his sycophantic brown nosing co presenters over the usual he said/she said goings off bollocks in slebland.

    The phony bastard. True Holy-Grail style cuntery.

  27. I surrender the field to those funnier and much better informed on the cuntishness of Evans, but having had to listen to the cunt every morning for some time thanks to my carshare chauffeuse having it on the radio, once more with feeling: the originality of a talking parrot, the self-awareness of a windowpane, surrounds itself with studio sycophants, puts on blokeish act on basis of never having lived in the real world or done a hand’s turn – what a comprehensive cunt. Makes Clarkson seem almost acceptable. And isn’t there just a hint of the old Savile/Harris Peter Pan syndrome?

    • Bang goes another cherished illusion!

      I’ve always pictured you off to work each day burning up the motorway in leathers on a Triumph Bonneville or summat Komodo.

      Now all I can picture is some fat cunt in business suit, boring the tits off whoever had the misfortune to pick the short straw…

      Life is just one big disappointment after another.

      • Cunt. Sorry, that just popped out. During part of the winter I have a choice of bus or someone with a car heading my way as my eyesight is no longer up to night riding due to problems with dazzle. My driver and Evans monopolised the conversation and that is in fact the reason that last year I returned to public transport. Leathers, yes. Bonneville (which might go with the business suit which has been unused for 11 years), no. Suzuki SV1000S, and very nice too. My physique is that of a coyote on a diet.

          • Appreciate the clarification K.

            If you’d said that in your original post it would have saved us all a lot of heartache.

            Still can’t help feeling somewhat cheated however.

          • Even great men such as I rarely live up to the high expectations of their admirers, RTC. But their few flaws merely highlight their many finer features.

            (I think this comment is worthy of J R-M himself…)

  28. BBC payroll could be excellently sorted by REDUCING blokes’ pay to the level of the wimminz’ (which, by any stretch of the imagination, is generous).

    Am sure Linekunt et al. would stamp their little feet and feck off elsewhere.

  29. This cunt has to be a case study for science that ginger cunts are almost a complete sperate genus to homosapiens.. We as a species have an inbuilt sixth sense to other species that are a threat, the threat being from this translucent ginger froth of piss isn’t the physical it’s genetic, they are capable of reproduction with females of our own species and that’s the big worry…. Stuck to there own gene pool they would quickly breed themselves into extinction but there sneaky cunts who cling onto existence like a parasite… He is there talisman! The most annoying ginger cunt that has ever taken breath, imagine how much his wife must love money to have that chicken skimmed pin eyed cunt on top of you.. The only thing I would love more than to set a pack of hounds on him accros open field is to throw Danny Baker alongside him.

  30. I think he’s alright. Done well for himself, happy family, with twins to come! Oh and congratulations on your new move to Virgin! Well played sir! All the best Chris Evans!

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