Dead Pool [88]

Congratulations to Basement Bob who wins the fastest Dead Pool on record by hitting the Bullseye with Jim Bowen!

So we move on to Dead Pool 88. Super! Smashing! Great!

Here are the rules (pay special attention to the first one)
1. Nominate who you think is the next cunt on the way out. You can have up to five choices. List your nominations in the comments of this post. It’s the current Dead Pool. Comments not in this post (e.g. in the previous one or other posts) will be ignored!

2. You win if your Cunt dies first.
Then the slate is wiped clean and we start again. Of course, you can always be a really annoying cunt and steal someone else’s dead cunt candidate from the previous pool (like Black and White Cunt frequently does).

Any cunt who tries to cheat by nominating the World’s Oldest Man or Woman is a cunt and will be ignored. Any anonymous cunt who can’t be bothered to make up a name for themselves will also be ignored. Oh, and the usual “Our Blog Our Rules” thing applies.

Nominations are now open on this post only. AND BEFORE YOU NOMINATE, FUCKING READ THE EXISTING NOMS TO CHECK THAT NONE OF YOUR PICKS HAVE BEEN TAKEN ALREADY! Good luck

65 thoughts on “Dead Pool [88]

  1. Congratulations Basement Bob.

    My usual picks please,

    Dick Van Dyke
    James Earl Jones
    Gary Glitter
    Freddy Foreman
    Angela Lansbury

  2. Jon Venables
    Lilly the musical mong
    Donald Trump
    Brian Murphy [George and Mildred]
    Jack Smethurst [love thy nieghbour]

    • Brian Murphy lives round my way. I saw him in the street about 4 months ago. He looked well if a lot older than you may remember. Sorry.

  3. RIP Jim. One of the old style comics.

    Yoko fucking Ono
    Danglebert Pimpledick (please release me I’m a cunt)
    Gary Kasparov
    Jacob Zuma
    Archbishop Tutu

  4. Bryan Ferry

    John McDonnell ( with his own nerve gas )

    Owen Jones ( hopefully)

    Tim Martin ( Weatherspoons)
    When he talks he sounds like he’s had a stroke.

  5. Bastard Hell! I got the shortest cunting on record (but that will be Bernie Ecclestone shushorly).

    Rhonda Fleming
    Val Kilmer
    Roy Hudd
    Giscard D’Estaing
    Bernie Ecclestone

  6. The Dalai Lama
    Rupert Murdoch
    Alex Ferguson
    Neil Simon
    Nile Rodgers

    He had an extraordinary mind, cracking humour but couldn’t play darts to save his life!

    Oh bugger, I thought I was giving Specsavers Hawking a eulogy.

  7. Also any cunt nap long time cert Steven Hawking? If so Yours Truly offers to chair, with impeccable fairness, any resultant Stewards Inquiry.

  8. In 1. William Beggs. Child killer who disposed of Limbs in Loch. Someone’s gotta leave the right cell doors open sometime.

    In 2. Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe, Britain’s favourite Journo, sorry I meant celebrity inmate. Still waiting at the luxury villa for Boris & the briefcase, currently dealing with another spy issue.

    In 3. Gerry McCann. Father of the year 2007 nominee. Karaoke favourite, A spoonful of sugar (helps the medicine go down).

    In 4. Ian Huntley, just to keep Gerry company while Kate’s elsewhere. I’m sure they’ll find something to talk about.

    5. Shona “the fairground prize gonk” Robison. (Scotland’s equivalent to Jeremy Hunt).
    She’s planning to reinvent NHS Scotland with the money raised from fixed unit priced alcohol?
    Pity, as Nicola’s blown it already. Free abortions to loose legged Oirish birds. Sad that “the slappers actually paid themselves” £650+ at NHS England Hospitals for a hoovering out?

    That’s Krankie EconoNic’s for you.

  9. Christ on a bike we’ll have to start running a “Not Dead” Pool soon! It’s been like a bingo caller over the last few days.

    Anyway my nominations – excluding Norman Tebbit – are:

    Sidney Poitier
    Kenny Lynch
    Iris Apfel
    Nigel Lawson
    Pam “fucking” Ayres

  10. No sign of Blair, Branson, Clegg, Clarke, Heseltine, Soubrey or any other Remainers shuffling off this mortal coil. Bastards!

  11. I have been nominating Jim Bower for abaaaaaht two years now and the one time I get beaten to it he pops his clogs.
    Clive James
    Murray Walker
    Gordon Banks
    Chris Rea
    David Van Day

  12. Chris Spivey. Please God..hurry up and end this cunt.
    Ian Watkins. Suicide but preferably sliced up in prison.
    Joanne Mjadzelics. Pathetic overdose days after Watkins.
    Dr Nigel Oldfield. Heart attack the fat cunt.

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