You can always tell its a bank holiday, airports up and down the country announce long delays or even cancellations of flights due to “technical problems”

This bank holiday is no exception with thousands of travellers forced to hang around like bad farts in a lift while the twats at air traffic control sort out the “technical glitch in the Matrix”.

Apparently they fixed the problem (although they never published what it was), but now of course there’s a massive backlog of flights – a classic domino effect which will rumble on for a few more days even though for a lot of travellers it will mean missed connections, delays and all sorts of inconveniences.

But my point here is more to do with how we’re becoming so dependent on technology working 24/7. One little “technical problem” whether its at an airport, an ATM, a supermarket checkout, or even your broadband going offline, can cause all sorts of problems, even though the downtime may only be for a few minutes or hours.

The push towards electronic technology, a cashless society, a chip and pin world where everything is supposed to make our lives easier, falls on its arse when these “glitches” fuck things up and we’re all stumped for a Plan B.

But of course the experts and the supporters will say “It’s just a one-off. It won’t happen again because it super-duper!”

Yes, they said that with Tesla self-drive cars!

Bbc news

Nominated by Technocunt.

Long long time lurker. First time nominator. I know the world has gone to shit in lots of ways that I needn’t explain; however I try to use sport to have a nice hiatus away from all the drama, wokeness and lack of meritocracy in society in general. I could probably nominate the women’s world cup, but that seems like an easy target.

However discovering the ‘PFC’ (Pillow Fighting Championships – fuck me) being uploaded on wank like ESPN and other streaming services; this is where I draw the mark on not making every cunting thing a sport.

Youtube

Nominated by 30goingon80cunt.

I’m sure you’ve seen the TV ads of a product that’s been around for ages, but now is even more wonderful thanks to “our new improved formula!” It could be for mundane household items such as washing up liquid, a carpet cleaner, a shampoo or even tea/coffee.

If you fall for this bollocks you’ll quickly realise the product returns the same results as before, but you’ll be paying a bit more for the privilege.

The perfect example of this tawdry form of advertising was for those Gillette razors back in the 90s – it started off with just 2 blades for a “close, long lasting shave”, and then some bright spark in their marketing department thought “hey, let’s add a 3rd blade!” And so they did and out came the advert for their new improved razor!

A couple of years later they added a fourth; and now it has five! Why not just go the whole hog and have 10 blades and save everyone the bother!

Don’t be conned by these new improved products – they’re just trying to sell you the same thing at a higher price for something that worked perfectly well in the past.

Youtube

Nominated by Technocunt.

 
Gone are the days of Lord ‘Soapy’ Soper on his Soapbox. He was very ‘wishy washy’ Lord Soapy. Apart from his fundamental Pacifism.

He always looked like he’d just returned from an ‘Aldermarston March’ with his hobnail boots on and dusty cassock.
I suppose back then you’d get people with a sign front and back ‘REPENT REPENT REPENT for the Day of the Lord is at Hand’.

But a lot of debate was about Nuclear Disarmament and Vietnam other subjects.
Now it is almost All religion. And one participant one; Islam. Many Muslim believers there, hundreds even. You could say Speaker’s Corner is thriving in that sense.
But how can I say it! The rules of debate are not really adhered to.

They’re always arguing ‘I will listen you if you will listen to me and same thing for the other. Sometime it turns into fisticuffs.

It all seems a long way from a gentle eccentric English carry on.

Back then-

Bbc news

Now

Youtube

Nominated by Miles Plastic.

An obese wheezing, grease-stained cunting for that Glaswegian delicacy, the munchy box.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Munchy_box

Are you a greedy fat cunt living on hand-outs?

Is one item of greasy, deep-fried muck no longer enough?

Do you desire an early death?

Look no further than the munchy box, the portable banquet designed by Glasgow’s finest epicures, food technicians and pest controllers, making it’s way across all grim, run-down towns and estates across the British Isles.

The munchy box (AKA shitbox to anybody whoes ever eaten anything green or from a butcher) offers the discerning council diner an array of deep-fried shit in a single grease-sodden pizza box.

Common items include doner meat, fresh from the elephant’s foot, chicken wings with no meat after being deep-fried, chips with cheese melted on them, a slice of pizza or perhaps a battered jumbo sausage, deep-fried macaroni cheese ‘bites’, deep-fried spicy chicken ‘goujons’, and perhaps a small tub of ‘dip’.
The Health fascists will be relieved that coleslaw is available in a small tub, even if that is made of mostly mayonnaise and salt

Members of the underclass may pay for their shitbox in installments, making sure their access to grease, salt, sugar and the occasional rat dropping isn’t hindered by the complete lack of earnings or waiting for dole money to drop into their account.

This is the closest you’ll ever get to experiencing Man vs Food as you’ll never be able to afford to visit America, but those in the know across the pond say yes, if we all wanted to die before 40 and live like the most wretched, toothless, gormless welfare recipients of the UK, we’d order the munchy box’.

The Munchy box. The taste of failure.

Nominated by : Cuntamus Prime