Advil is a cunt.

Let’s have a My Brain Hurts cunting for the over the counter pain medicine Advil and their new add campaign…Believe My Pain.

What’s wrong with that, you naively ask?

Well according to a 7 person focus group (all of whom were black) Advil determined that, nobody believes black people and their stories about pain.

Accordingly, they have started the Pain Equity Project. And their new ad campaign; “Believe My Pain, is focused on illuminating the issue of pain inequity in Black communities.”

For those guilty white liberals who want to help, they can go to the website and learn how they can use their privilege to alleviate this social injustice:

Advil Website

For the rest of you…buy Motrin.

By the way. Advil is a joint venture with Pfizer and presumably it is more effective at relieving pain than their vaccine was at preventing Covid.

Nominated by: General Cuntster

(There will be three nominations for today and Sunday, 7am, 11am and 3pm. Thanks.  – Day Admin)

On April 1st (how appropriate) a new law comes into effect in Scotland. This law (which the Scottish Government says ‘modernises and extends’ existing legislation) creates a new law of stirring up hatred against protected categories on the grounds of race, religion, sexual and (you guessed it) transgender orientation.

As Han Solo would say, I’ve got a bad feeling about this. I foresee every professional offence taker and loony tunes group with a grudge agenda piling in and reporting any little thing perceived as ‘hate speech’ to the Hurty Wurty Feelings Police, otherwise known as Police Scotland.

The scuffers could be in for a very hectic time indeed. Apparently the force has pledged to investigate every single complaint reported; this at a time when, according to ‘The Scotsman’, it said that it would no longer investigate every ‘low level’ crime, including some thefts.

The Scotsperson

Yes, the Hurty Wurty Feelings Police are preparing to swing into action on ‘hate crime’. Indeed you might agree that they’ve already given a firm indication as to which way the wind’s blowing.

The force itself has committed what a sensitive soul like me can only regard as a ‘hate act’. In a training exercise on the subject, it created a character called ‘Jo’, a soshull meeja influencer who says that there are only two genders, and that trans types ‘belong in gas chambers’.

Who could they possibly be referring to, I wonder? Naturally they’ll assure us that any similarity to any person, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Nevertheless, I’m deeply offended by this, and intend to report Police Scotland for a ‘hate crime’ against a certain Joanne ‘Jo’ Rowling to, erm, Police Scotland.

Police Scotland accused of parodying JK Rowling with gender critical ‘Jo’ character in hate crime training

Gosh it’s going to be fun north of the border. Keep your opinions to yourself you freethinking Scots, even in your own home. The kids might dob you in for calling Humza Yuseless a fucking total cunt*. The walls might have ears.

Oh and don’t bother just calling it in if your mobile phone gets snatched from you in the street. That won’t be enough to get the cops off their arses. You’ll have to say that the thief called you ‘a tranny kiddie fiddling arse bandit’ as well. That way, you’ll have a couple of squad cars and half a dozen plods on your doorstep in five minutes.

Welcome to our Brave New World.

*even though Humza Yuseless is, indisputably, a total fucking cunt.

Nominated by: Ron Knee

Sorry, I really can’t resist.

The Guardian

For the love of whatever God you worship, why on earth would a previously classy company think that this was a good idea?
Whatever marketing genius came up with this one?

” Well, we’ve done padded bras for years, and they all sell well and are popular, what about padded knickers, to make the arse look bigger?”

Fucking brilliant!

I’m sure you have all heard the old joke about the bloke who goes home with a smashing looking bird. Gets into the bedroom.
First, she takes off her make-up, revealing a skin like old porridge, grey and lumpy.
Next her bra, absolutely no tits.
Finally, she takes out her teeth, grins at him and says “what are you waiting for?”

He says, ” You know, throw it over”

Nominated by: Jeezum Priest

Some time ago I posted a nom about agencies who were taking fees from “students” applying for visas for further education, but never actually taking up the place at college / university.

Instead, they applied for dependant visas for family members whilst taking employment in the care industry.

The Standard

Since March 11th, people from abroad who come to work in the care industry cannot bring dependants with them.

So that sort of stopped that scam. Instead, another has come to light, where fake companies are “sponsoring” people to come to the UK as care workers.

Now, whether they are scammers, conning folk out of fees for their “agency”, or are actually bringing people in, who then find their selves jobless or exploited isn’t clear.

What is clear, is that we need to stop bringing in people who are prepared to wipe shitty arses for peanuts, pay people a decent wage, and get idle twats off their backsides and up working in these sectors.

I realise that personal care isn’t for everyone, but I’m sure they need folk to cook, clean and do laundry and dishes.

Do we need more British people doing these jobs? Hell, yes.

Nominated by: Jeezum Priest

The plinth that should of held a statue of william IV but the cupboard was bare.
So sat empty for 150 years.

So over the years various sculptures and so called art works have resided there..

Who doesn’t remember the marvellous big thumbs up sculpture, or the fly on a dollop of whipped cream. ” a pile of human excrement would of been more apt”

So I imagine like everyone else, you have been waiting with baited breath for the next marvels..

Well the wait is over.
First up is everywoman, though you won’t be surprised to know she is black..
With a oversized arse, and overdressed for a trip to the benefit office, or some casual shoplifting..

The second is meant to be someone on a horse under a shroud. But looks like a melted asda carrier bag to me..

Not surprisingly the bbc and guardian love them..

Personally a large sign with nothing to see here would be cheaper. Or khan’s rotting corpse would suffice..

Still if it entertains the tourists, before they get ripped off or mugged..
Good luck to them..

BBC News

Nominated by: Barry zuckercunt