Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin

Posted on April 9, 2014 by A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

Possibly the dullest ever celebrity couple are splitting, but not splitting. Even their break up is about as interesting as the colour beige.

Apparently, Chris reckons he was gay and she was a beard. For some reason, he prefers a different kind of arse.

Nominated by: The Oncoming Fart & Dioclese

Gywyneth Paltrow is a cunt in many ways

First: A friend of mine was a make up artist on that pile of crap “Shakespeare In Love”: and she told me that Paltrow was such a snotty cunt to all the crew and staff on the set… Clicking her fingers instead of directly asking for things or people…

Her constant moaning about the UK: how she hates the horrible English weather, and how she can’t get a decent pizza in London (my heart fucking bleeds!) and other such shite… She can piss off back to that Hollywood craphole now…

Throwing her toys out of her luvvie pram on Iron Man 2: because a younger and better looking bird (Scarlett Johansson) was getting all the attention and press, and “Golden Girl Gwyneth” was no longer Number 1… Little Gwynypoos reacted by ostracizing and ignoring Johansson…

Her dire English accent in (more crap!) “Sliding Doors”
“You wenker! You sed, sed, forking wenker!”

This latest divorce shit: Talk about up your own arse self importance! “It isn’t easy to be married for ten years” My parents managed 49 (until my old man died).

And as for “Conscious Uncoupling”: For fuck’s sake…. Is that Hollywood twatspeak for “I’ve been shagging behind Chris’s back”?! Just say you’re finished… Don’t attach a pretentious psychobabble 2000 word essay to it, you Twatterattii cunt!

Nominated by: Norman Whiteside

Bono [5]

Posted on April 8, 2014 by A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

Bono is a 24 carat, prize cunt. He wants everybody to alleviate Third World debt while the cunt doesn’t pay any taxes himself because his company is registered in Holland.

What a prize pillow humping thundercunt !

Nominated by: Lloyd Kennedy

Dead Pool [10]

Posted on April 7, 2014 by A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

* * * * WE HAVE A WINNER! * * * *
Congratulations to Fred West who correctly guessed the next dead cunt would be Hollywood legend and 8 times failed husband Mickey Rooney.

Here’s a picture of the dead cunt saying goodbye and thanks for all the fish…

So, Fred, you get to join the esteemed club of Dead Pool champs. (No trophy, Fred. Sorry! This isn’t Wimbledon.) You do get a free post on a subject of your choice here and, if you want it, over at Dioclese as well. Not much of a prize so please yourself.

The slate has been wiped clean and everyone gets to pick a new ‘dead cunt walking’ as we move on to The Dead Pool 10. Here’s the rules :

1. Nominate who you think is next on the way out.
You can have a maximum of three cunts each. Leave names in the Comments.

2. You win if your Cunt dies first.
Then the slate is wiped clean and we start again. Of course, you can always be a cunt and steal someone else’s dead cunt candidate from the last Dead Pool.

Any cunt who tries to cheat by nominating the World’s Oldest Man or Woman is a cunt and will be ignored. The winner gets a dedicated Dead Pool Champion guest post on the subject of his/her choice and kudos of cuntishness aplenty. Oh, and the usual “Our Blog Our Rules” thing applies.

Miley Cyrus

Posted on April 6, 2014 by A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

This talentless bag of bones and media whore is enough to turn a man off women. She looks like a public schoolboy in drag, her “music” is shite and all that staged “sexiness”: all that twerking and that tongue shit is about as sexy as Angela Merkel on a bad night (that tongue should be fucking removed!). A really sexy woman doesn’t have to put it on and get up to ridiculous antics.

Nobody would notice this Cyrus slapper if she didn’t get out what she hasn’t got and stick her fucking tongue out every five seconds. Silly bitch!

Nominated by: Norman Whiteside

Bez

Posted on April 5, 2014 by A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

Bez is a thick as shit northerner. He was allowed about five minutes of airtime on Shaun Keaveny’s radio show (I’m tempted to cunt Keaveny and Everett for allowing it) to spout his sixth form common room drivel about fracking, GM crops and free renewable energy for all.

Grow up, you stupid cunt.

And what kind of name is ‘Bez’ anyway? Another word for cunt I reckon.

Nominated by : Harry Axwound

( For those of you who are thinking ‘Who the fuck is Bez?‘ he’s a dancer, percussionist, author and media personality. He is best known as a member of the bands Happy Mondays and Black Grape. He’s proposing to stand as an MP FFS! )