Fred Dinage

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fred

Now appreciate this runner might be a bit orf a handicapper’s nightmare but I give you the Southern Region/news reader TV presenter chappie and Dead Pool nominee Fred Dinage.

Dinage has been at it for so long it is rumoured he started orf in TV as the original three hole doll as used by John Logie Baird in the first TV experiments (look that up yourself cunts). The octogenarian Cunt sits there in a very dodgy ginger barnet with a face moulded oit orf morticians wax next to a moderately fuckable filly looking for all the world like a long dead Russian president still being wheeled out for the May Day Parades.

Have long rated his lascivious Benny Hill type eye rolling and gurning at his co-presenter filly. How he has survived in this PC world escapes me. A true original.

Reminds me orf me late uncle Silas who spent a few stretches in Strangeways for his er….strange ways.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

Mobile phone users

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mobile-phone-user

An old pal of mine who is a black cab driver says that hardly anybody speaks to him on the job these days. He just gets pricks talking shit into their mobile phones, or clowns pissing about on iPhones and other such shite.

Also anyone who talks/shouts on their phone while being served in a shop/pub/bank etc is a pig ignorant fucker…

Nominated by: Norman

I’d like to say a few words about people who use mobile phones in public. Or rather I’d like to say two words to them – fuck off !

I’m tired of hearing people on buses and trains prattling away about nothing and talking twice as loud as they need to. I’m sick of these cunts who can’t walk down the street without having their phone clamped to their ear, who can’t shop in a supermarket without giving someone a running commentary on what they’re doing.

English people used to be renowned for being quiet and reserved. Not any more. Now the whole fucking world has got to know every detail of their pathetic uninteresting lives. To these cunts I say – We don’t want to hear it ! You’re not impressing anybody ! Shut the fuck up !

Nominated by : Allan

Rebecca Minnock

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PAYRebecca-Minnock

Rebecca Minnock is a cunt. She runs away with her little lad after full custody of him has been given to the child’s father, then when the story breaks nationally, she doesn’t ring him or anyone else close to the family to inform them of his safety, she runs to the fucking Sun.

Pours out her sob story in an attempt to make HER look like the wronged party here, no doubt to gain a few quid in the process, the self-concerned, selfish, fat-faced cunt.

The bitch wants us to think the courts have made a terrible mistake, well here are the FACTS my dear Rebecca :-
1. I KNOW the court decided to give her ex full custody of the boy while allowing her only SUPERVISED visitation. I don’t know the reasons but I’m guessing it’s because she’s a fucking loon or, as is clear, a terrible mother.
2. Only one of the parents involved in the case have fucking legged it with the toddler because they haven’t got their way and then gone on the run, costing the rest of us in getting police to chase here, while they could have been doing something useful like being racist or eating. That parent is you Rebecca, you cunt.

No doubt the media will fawn over her like a mother wronged and end up on a mutual bean-flicking exercise like the putrid Loose Women.

Nominated by: Cunt O’MaCunto

Kevin Pietersen

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England's-Kevin-Pietersen(R)

Kevin Pietersen is a pompous, self agrandising, bouncer dodging cunt.

“They won’t let me play for England mum, it’s not fair”
Well boo-hoo to you Pietersen. Fuck off back to South Africa and play your silly bat and ball game for a country that can understand your ridiculous accent.

“But the ECB said I could play for England if I scored some runs for Surrey, and that’s what I did. It’s so unfair” Shouldn’t have bad mouthed Andrew Strauss then should ya, you foul mouthed cock fumbler?

Nominated by: Fleaboy

Dead Pool 20

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Christopher Lee

* * * * WE HAVE A WINNER! * * * *
Congratulations to Sir Limply Stoke who came up on the rails with a late nomination for Sir Christopher Lee. He died last Sunday but they only announced it today – presumably to make sure that, given past performance, he didn’t rise back up from the grave?

Well played, Limpers. You join Dioclese as a three time winner. If we had a trophy, then you’d be allowed to keep – but we don’t so tough shit!

So the slate has been wiped clean and everyone gets to pick a new ‘dead cunt walking’ as we move on to The Dead Pool 20.

Here’s the rules :

1. Nominate who you think is next on the way out.
You can have a maximum of five cunts each. Leave names in the Comments.

2. You win if your Cunt dies first.
Then the slate is wiped clean and we start again. Of course, you can always be a cunt and steal someone else’s dead cunt candidate from the last Dead Pool.

Any cunt who tries to cheat by nominating the World’s Oldest Man or Woman is a cunt and will be ignored. Any anonymous cunt who can’t be bothered to make up a name for themselves will also be ignored. Oh, and the usual “Our Blog Our Rules” thing applies.