So this is more climate change bollocks Jeezum?, C.A.
Actually, that’s a headline I made up, so don’t panic just yet.
However, this news item seems to indicate that, due to a poor hop harvest, there may be a shortage of ale, folks.
It’s all due to climate change, naturally.
Stock up now, Lidl/Aldi do decent beverages at reasonable prices, maybe buy the Missus a bottle of Country Cream, too.
Fuck em all.
Nominated by Jeezum Priest.
is becoming a cunt.
Looking around the stacked shelves of the booze Isle in any leading supermarket one could be forgiven for believing that all is well in the world for those wishing to partake in a drink or two.
However, dark forces are at work! the bastards. Mrs E/cunt as now decided she prefers Rose pinot grigio to the white version. Tastes like fucking flower petals to me but hey ho she is drinking it.
Anyway whilst looking for it I noticed the alcohol content on the bottle, 10.5%.
That’s low I thought remembering seeing it has 13% on the white bottles.
Any how I decided to check the white wines, fuck me 10.5 % was the norm. This got my gander up so off I went checking the whole fucking Isle like a wino with withdrawal symptoms.
Stella 4.6% used to be 5% Kronenbourg the same, Barley wine 7.7 % used to be 10%. Same with the spirits. Now they dropped Gin down to 37% from 40% a while ago but I saw some at 35% and Brandy.
I could go on many more examples even Special Brew down.
Nanny fucking state is my guess. Why can’t the cunts just leave things alone.
Bastards have made chocolate bars the size of minis and a bag of crisps barely has enough in for a sandwich, all in the name of obesity. Robbing the public blind more like.
Bastards burn in hell fire whoever is responsible.
Nominated by Everyonesacunt.
“Good afternoon. This is IsAC’s Sexual Matters Correspondent Ron Knee reporting.
Today I bring you the cautionary tale of Pablo the ‘gender fluid’ dachshund, who has inadvertently caused a bit of a rumpus down Cambridgeshire way.
The saga began in 2023, during a meeting of Cambridgeshire County Council’s LGBTQ+ whatever employment group. A certain Gleicon Analha (such an appropriate surname) introduced his mutt Pablo to the group. Pablo had been dressed in a fetching little frock for the occasion, and Mr Anal (for he most certainly is) announced that the pooch was indeed ‘gender fluid’.
A social worker (lesbian, natch) by the name of Elizabeth Pitt responded ‘your dog’s male!’, a statement which was backed up by another colleague. This prompted Anal to claim that Lizzie’s comments were ‘transphobic’, and left others ‘shaking, feeling threatened and horrified by such disrespectful comments’. Yes really.
As a result of Anal’s preposterous whining, Pitt was subjected to disciplinary action by the Council, but wasn’t prepared simply to bend over and take it. No, she took the Cuntsil to a tribuneral, citing harassment and discrimination based on her gender critical views. What’s more she won her case, leaving the Council to reflect on the fact that it had to fork out £52k in damages plus £8k in costs.
So who am I actually calling out here? Well clearly the anally retentive Mr Analha, for dressing up his pooch and transferring his fixations on to it, and then acting like a lump of quivering jelly and taking a right hissy fit when it was pointed out that Pablo was, well, a doggy, and a boy one at that. Then the Council clearly needs a kick up the arse for taking disciplinary action against an employee in response to such ludicrous snowflakery.
In closing, let’s spare a thought for poor little Pablo, whose thoughts and feelings seem to have been completely overlooked in all the hoo-ha. The whole experience must have left him really traumatised, and we can only hope that he’s been receiving the counselling and support he needs to recover. A bone and a leg of any gender to hump might help too.
This is Ron Knee, for IsAC, returning you to the studio”.
Nominated by Ron Knee.
are a pair of cunts.
Welcome cunters to the new Game Show taking the country by storm. I give you SUPERMARKET SWEEP, where contestants Keir and Vicky Sponger are given £107,000 to spend as they please, but in limited time before the game is up.
Enjoy watching as the Spongers rush through the store throwing Arsenal, Taylor Swift and Coldplay tickets into their trolley. Suits for Keir and frocks for Vicky get bagged as well before the Spongers retire to a luxury penthouse for a well-earned rest.
Also planned for the autumn’s TV schedules:
David ‘Henry VII’ Lammy in Brainbox Challenge
Dirty Ange in Slagheap Challenge
Rachel Thieves in The Great British Granny Freeze
and last but not least…
Huw Edwards in It’s a Knobout
Compulsive viewing for us all.
Nominated by Geordie Twatt
A double cunting for a whinging harridan and everyone’s favourite media outlet.
Poor Nadiya, desperate for some earth shattering revelation to promote her new tv series, has apparently come up with this.
“There was constant pressure to prove how British I was”
Sounds pretty damning doesn’t it? Only, that’s not exactly what she said.
What she actually said was this.
“ There was constant pressure to prove how British I was, how Bangladeshi, how Muslim”
So apart from her tiresome ‘woe is me’ self promotion, we’ve got the BBC resorting to headline writing so antagonistic that it would make Kelvin McKenzie blush.
Nadiya would do well to remember that her current career is based purely on her ethnicity and religion, fuck all else. Stop whinging and be grateful.
And the BBC are still a bunch of race baiting, divisive cunts.
Nominated by Field Marshal Cuntgomery.