Home Office

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A cunting please for the Home Office.

We can “invest” over £14 billion each year to unworthy causes, and we can donate £45 million to the pension pot of the French President. Well hell, we can even find £200 billion to shave 10 minutes off a train time with HS2.

What we cannot do, is provide for the security and the protection of the British Public. And the reason? No cash allocated in this years budget ( we are skint )

The Home Office therefore, are actively supporting both Durham and Cheshire Constabulary to deploy unpaid volunteer ” CommunityTerror Detectives ” and Durham ( wait for it ) Child Police Officers!!!!!

It has also come to light, that an all inclusive force is to be formed , and that previous criminal convictions will not automatically bar an individual from service.!!!!!!!!!

Both sets of Noddy’s will be attached and trained by the relevant Constabularies, and if successful, will be rolled out all over the country. Child Police will be encouraged to spy on traffic offenders, and social disorders. Whilst the freshly released from prison can go case the local eastates for “Terrorists”

The scheme obviously has the blessing and the support of our one and only ever friend Amber the Gambler.

I can see many safe guarding issues arising, and some fucking amazing comparisons to the “Hitler Youth” of yesteryear.

All of this, at a time when the Politicians couldn’t be thicker than the shit in my pants following Ahmeds Camel Curry.

I understand from former colleagues that the “little Police” ( of Durham ) are already being recruited , and circulars are already being printed to be pasted no doubt within the prisons.

Gentleman, I give you the Home Office. A symptom of a very fucked country.

Nominated by Asimplearsehole.

Frock Opera

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Fucking Frock Operas.

You know, the utter shite that is Downton Abbey, the snivelling shit that is Victoria, anyfuckingthing from the Brontes or Jane Austen. Little Women, the Minaturist.

Stilted speech, characterless characters and of course, big frocks.
Prime time Mills and fucking Boone. TV for soppy cunts and Yanks.

Nominated by Cunstable Cuntbubble

Andy Burnham (5)

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Emergency cunting of Andy Burnham who as we all know is a Labour Loony who parades around Manchester like a god, in fact, the only person to out god him is Bono.

The reason for Burnahms cunting is the self-styled flamboyant git is paid a huge salary and expenses that now Manchester council tax payers have to cough up money to pay for this waste of space/
‘
An extra charge on this year’s council tax bill has been agreed to pay for Greater Manchester’s mayor. Manchester Householders will be charged an average of £7 annually to pay for Andy Burnham’s £110,000 salary, as well as his transport and housing plans.

The precept agreed unanimously at a meeting of all ten council leaders,
will also pay the £730,000 cost of running his office including his
wages. The Taxpayers’ Alliance described the council tax rise as “pretty bad news”.

Most people in Greater Manchester were not aware they would have to pay
between £6 and £18 to have an elected mayor, the group claimed.

Nominated by iamnot

Andy fucking Burnham’s hair resembles that of a bullied schoolboy, 3 hours after his daily toilet head-flushing. The only slight amendment I’d like to make on that simile is to ensure Burnham’s head-flushing takes place over an Armitage Shanks pan, filled to the brim with steaming piss and shit.

He is one ultra-heavyweight fucking cunt. Tries so hard to curl his vowels into that Warrington working-class bonhomie; but fails to convince anyone that he is anything other than just one more aloof and disconnected career bureaucrat. And cunt.

So the insult to our Mancunian friends must be all the more unpalatable – not only have they had a premier league cunt parachuted into their region, they now have to PAY for the fucking privilege via that council tax surcharge. I feel sorry for those who didn’t vote for him – those who did, well, what did you fucking expect?

It’s testament to the Labour front bench/prominents that someone with the cunt-calibre of Burnham isn’t even in the top 10 cunts of the party. In any other realm, he is a cunt colossus and would stand head and shoulders above cunts pretty much anywhere other than Labour HQ.

Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back

Alison Saunders (2)

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I like to cunt the CPS, in particular Alison Saunders (present head of the Crown Prosecution Service but hopefully not for long).

She recently insisted that the justice system was working properly, despite a string of rape trials collapsing. In the latest collapse of a CPS rape case, 17 year old (at the time) Oliver Mears, who had been on bail for two years, was adjudged not guilty after more defence evidence “turned up” at the last minute, 5 days before the trial was to begin. The defence had been asking for the evidence for 3 months. The CPS prosecutor, Ms Sarah Lindop, told Guildford Crown Court that the case was ‘finely balanced’ from the start, meaning they were going to fit up the poor cunt with no evidence apart from the anonymous complainant saying she had been raped and sexually assaulted. What a cunt of person and stays anonymous.

We need to start a campaign of outing these anonymous complainants, allowing reasonable people to say “you’re a cunt” to their faces.

Even more telling is a Twitter statement from Tory MP Anna Soubry. She wrote: ‘Appalled at the ill-informed comments of DPP Alison Saunders”. This makes Alison Saunders an even bigger cunt, coming from an arch cunt like Soubry.

Nominated by Smeggy Frenulum.

Ryan Seacrest

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I cannot believe that Ryan Seacrest, the epitome of American cuntery, isn’t on here yet. If you are unaware of this vacuous prick, a quick Google search will reveal a picture of a face that screams “I am a fucking smug cunt!”.

He’s single handedly responsible for the fame of the Kardashian family. They didn’t need OJ to put them on the map Seacrest saw to that and we all know what utter cunts they turned into.
Seacrest’s job as Hollywood’s chief cunt is to basically take a nobody and turn them into a cuntbody.

He produces on the channel E and streaming service Hula though I’d rather watch God Rock TV for all time than anything this twat touches. And lo and behold what a fucking surprise he touches women up at work, though this is probably to mask the fact that he’s gay, but just can’t come out with it.

Hey, you’ve made a life out of exploiting people maybe it’s time you took a look at yourself and accepted it, or you, know rid the world of your epic cuntery.

Please stop making shit TV and giving birth to an army of reality tv cunts and just die already.

Fucking septic cunt.