So, the odd ‘bugger’ is OK, ‘fuck’ in an EXTREME circumstance, but ‘CUNT’ – oh no, apparently a slightly different word for a twat, vaj or muff is just too fucking much to cope with.
What’s wrong with these people? Presumably they are the type that are OK to sit and watch all the nightmarish realities that the TV wangs on about, they are happy to continue existing as a duplicitous blob – gradually consuming the worlds resources whilst giving less than fucking nothing back…but the WORD cunt….well fuck me that is just OFF FUCKING LIMITS.
I’m also guessing that this type acknowledges that bad shit goes on, or indeed that they are doing it, but “oooh, I don’t want to see that” – code for “I’m too fucking lazy and ignorant to do anything, now leave me alone to my third McD’s of the day you poo poo bum.” Hypocritical, head-burying fucktards without an ounce of understanding as to the finer points of the English language and who will never truly know the pleasure of heartfeltly stating, directly at someone, that they are a fucking cunt cunt. Derek and Clive style. Cunts!
Nominated by IHateYou
Anti-cunt cunts who treat the word ‘cunt’ as off-limits are indeeds cunts.
I was once caught in a cuntfire on public transport. Your classic, bovver-booted shitcunt feminist-looking stool sample entered the same tube carriage as your humble narrator during one glorious morning commute, and insisted on holding onto the bar that I had leaned a large item of luggage against. As the train jarred and jolted, said luggage would logically grind her cunt-smeared hand. I wouldn’t fucking mind but it wasn’t exactly a heaving carriage and the cunt clearly could have moved somewhere more spacious. But no. Not this cunt.
I started to get abuse from this fucker which included ‘prick’, ‘arsehole’ and ‘fucking idiot’. After swallowing much of this, to which may I add fellow tube passengers were loving and mirthfully eavesdropping, such unwarranted public abuse I could take no more. I looked it full square in the face and said “you cunt”. What an uproarious reaction. Instant social death. Mutterings included “there’s no need for that”. “bloody hell”. “my god”. But at least it shut the fucker up and made her move away.
Thank god this was all before the phonecam Stasi generation. I would have otherwise been made infamous as the viral ‘Cunt-calling cunt cunt’. I mean, that would be true, but I wouldn’t have wanted my then-employers to know, as they were definitely anti-cunt-calling.
Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back
In response to Willi Stroker (did she feel nice?). I also saw the piece he details. And as a person connected with social care and mental health. I can confidently say on this occassion MIND are cunts.
Exposed to this utter drivel, often cases like this are people with a psychological condition namely Munchausen Syndrome an attention-seeking personality disorder which is more common than statistics suggest.
The MIND press office clearly were taking the piss. I’m ashamed that we cannot see when a mental cunt is just plainly taking the piss and probably could do with a month off in a place where they can address their condition and learn skills/strategies to stop wasting Police/NHS resources.
Naturally no cunt would want to behave like this if they had any control over themselves. But as a society, we must call a cunt a cunt when they behave like a cunt.
Regards
6
A comedic interlude on behalf of the Birdman Party.
—-
A young boy asks his Dad: “Dad, what’s the difference between a cunt and a vagina?”
“Whaaaaat!?! Where did you…I mean…how on earth???”
Realising his son’s innocence of any mischievous intent his Dad reluctantly says that he’ll explain.
So off they go upstairs into the main bedroom where the boy’s mother is still asleep. Carefully the Father lifts the sheet and points towards the “badly packed kebab”.
“There you go son. That’s a vagina.”
Curiously the boy goes to touch it when his Dad – quick as a flash – stops his hand and says: “Whoa! Don’t touch it or you’ll wake the cunt up!”
—-
I’m ‘ere all week! Matinées on Sundays!
1
A few weeks later the same boy says to his Dad: “Dad, I can see Grandma’s prawn.”
“Eh?”
“Her prawn.”
In total puzzlement the Dad follows the boy into the living room where Granny is catching 40-winks on the settee, legs akimbo, where the “belly warmers” elastic has failed revealing the auld “hairy roadkill”.
“No son. That’s not a prawn, that’s Grandma’s clitorus.”
“Ah, ok Dad. But it tastes like a prawn!”
BOOM!
3
It’s the way you tell em Rebel.
Knockout.
2
EMERGENCY
COMRADE CORBYNISKI. Today this wizzend old cunt has surpassed himself. He is trying to say that UK armed services are directing the war in Yemen and are directly responsible for murdering children.
What a complete and utter spazmotic uber cunt.
2
If May doesn’t fuck off he’ll be in charge of the armed services!
Jesus!
Shit, is Jesus racist these days?
2
No of course not. He was a Jew, so you are being anti-semitic.
3
He was born on Christmas Day too!
I love Jews, especially Israelis, the only cunts who don’t take shit from “peacefuls” and don’t appease the fuckers either!
A few leaves could be taken out of their books!
5
The Druze make the best I.D.F personnel. They detest peacefuls.
1
Absolutely. Check out Leviticus (especially), here.
http://skepticsannotatedbible.com/int/long.html
“Anyone who blasphemes or curses shall be stoned to death by the entire community. 24:16”
No cunting for you, bubbleh…
1
There was a letter in Private Eye this week, from a pushbiker complaining about a cartoon in the previous issue. The cartoon showed a line of traffic, including a double-deck bus, on a B road queued up behind – yes – two Lycra bunnies, and remarked on the benefit to the environment of cycling. The letter complained:
(a) he had never seen a bus on a country road.
(b) that the reason he always rode two abreast was because if he went single file, motorists would overtake him, and this would be dangerous.
From the arse’s mouth. It’s intentional.
1