Amateur Dietitians

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These are those people who always know what everyone should be eating and shouldn’t be eating. What’s bad for you and what isn’t. And go on about it all the time.

However it is mostly badly informed and constitutes fashionable eating. Case in point – saturated fats. For 30 years this was supposedly the worst thing you could eat, causing heart attacks and the like. But guess what, now this isn’t bad apparently, it’s now processed vegetable oils that can cause cancer and all sorts of things.

Fact is the human body is adaptable to most things that we eat, people manage to get on fine with eating whatever they grew up eating, loads of veg, bugger all veg. Fatty stuff, no fatty stuff. Coffee and fags. I’ve known people eat all of this stuff and none of them follow any kind of pattern in terms of health problems or benefits arising from their eating habits.

I have tried different diets, partly to combat a chronic illness, it almost always made fuck all difference. In fact, the only ever result I ever had was to stop eating fruit, veg and things with fibre in it. See if you can guess the illness (it is now in remission).

No – what these amateur dietitians are doing is trying to involve you in their lifestyle bollocks for some pathetic ego or self esteem reason. Well I don’t give a shit, I don’t care how much better you feel or how much weight you lost (and then regained). What I do care about is that you shut up and stop going on about it.

I once knew a guy who was healthy, slim, in his 50s, smoked a bit of weed every day (not much), and necked about 20 kinds of pills every morning that he got off the internet. If he had his way I would be putting all sorts of shit into my body with god only knows what effect, and he would have loved it.

They all would. They all love their advice. They all think food is some kind of medicine, which it fucking isn’t. And they all want control over your life for their own entertainment. Well they can get fucked, and keep their stupid advice to themselves. There is a first world problem here, but it’s not being able to pick and choose a globally inspired diet and the subsequent choice problems that come along with it, it’s having to listed to insufferable cunts going on and on about what you should and shouldn’t eat.

Nominated by Cunting Rank Wags

Doug Gurr

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Doug Gurr, UK manager of Amazon.Dot.Cunt. This previously unknown mini-Cunt nobody has just opened his cake-hole and made an attempt at joining the ranks of Mega Cuntdom.
“Amazon’s UK boss has warned the Brexit secretary, Dominic Raab, that Britain would face “civil unrest” within weeks of a no-deal Brexit” (Times,23/07/18)
Fucking slave driving cunt, scared that Amazon.Dot.Cunt.might run out of an endless supply of cheap labour and have to pay its human drones a half decent wage.Jesus the Gobal Elitists must be shitting bricks to drag out a cunt called Gurr as its latest scaremonger Fuck off back to the USA if you dont like it you cunt and take your shitty jobs with you.Cunt..

Nominated by CuntsR-Us

I want to nominate Doug Gurr for a cunting. Gurr is the UK head of Amazon, and recently issued the dire warning that a no deal Brexit would lead to civil unrest in the UK within two weeks of us leaving. As project fear is once again ramping up its dire predictions of doom and gloom should May finally grow a pair of balls and tell those sneering, unelected, arrogant, incompetent dickweeds in Brussels to shove the EU and go with WTO rules, this gem from Gurr has to be far and away the most ridiculous and pathetic.

63% of ‘young’ voters, the 18-24 year olds, couldn’t even be bothered to go out and vote, how the fuck are they going to work up the will to engage in a riot? And what of the rest of the whingeing cunts who desperately want us to remain enslaved to the EU? How would that soppy bunch of left wing twats go about rioting? We’re hardly talking Brixton or Toxteth here. Perhaps they’d hurl petrol bombs, only instead of petrol, they’d use organic coconut water. I can imagine lots of tofu and organic avocado and egg and cress sandwiches being launched too.

Given the procession of freaks and weirdos who’ve been photographed at numerous pro-EU demonstrations, I bet there’ll even be a bunch of trannies wielding dildos. Yes, these snivelling traitors will really bring the UK to its knees and make us reconsider our decision to leave the EU, won’t they?

Doug Gurr, you intellectual pygmy. You shit stirring sack of monkey vomit. If you want to do something useful, get your boss, Bezos, to pay Amazon’s fair share of tax in the UK. Otherwise, shut the fuck up, you cunt.

Nominated by Quick Draw McGraw

Spotify

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Spotify need cunting for the appalling way it is treating it’s minor artists.

I have 14 albums on Spotify and they pay me royalties every time a track is streamed. They don’t pay a fortune but it keeps me in beer money and it’s a nice little earner. That is when they actually pay me.

Seems that Spotify have been avoiding paying the big boys – people like Neil Young – who make a fortune from their music. Recently Spotify were ordered to pay out £83.5 million to songwriters who they weren’t paying properly. Music publisher Wixen has also issued a suit for $1.6 billion for what it describes as ‘willful infringement’ of copyright. Two other parties are also suing Spotify. Read all about it here.

So how does this effect me? Well, Spotify pay royalties around 2 months in arrears which, to be fair, is quicker than most of the other music streaming services. But then they get sued and incur fines, settlements and big legal bills. When this happens, they adjust their cash flow by not paying out on time. So I received fuck all last month. It’s happened before and I expect I will get paid. Eventually.

So because the little guys like me get screwed so that rich music stars can make even more money, I say Spotify is a cunt.

Nominated by ChasCMusic

Magid Magid

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Lord Mayor Magid Magid.

No that’s not a euphemism. That’s the actual cunting title and name of the big boss cunt in charge of Sheffield these days.

There’s various things wrong with this cunt that could be discussed. Such as the Metro branding him ‘Britains coolest mayor’. The fact he’s only 28.. like how the bloody hell is that even possible, what possible experience could this trendy tryhard possibly have!? The fact he was so dignified and truely British that he swore and spoke like the reject that he clearly is during his mayor inaugural speech. Or the fact he referred to Trumps Muslim ban as ‘racist’. Which brings me to the main thrust of this particular cuntflap, before I get too side tracked and vapourize my own piss,

The Lawd of Sheffield, innit’, has decreed that Trump is banned from visiting the city when he comes over here to visit.

He also has a degree in Marine Biology. A great use of our taxes he has been and inevitably will be.

Nominated by The Big Chunky Cunty

Gary Lineker (10)

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Gary Lineker deserves yet another cunting. Once again, this jug eared fucktard has expressed his disdain for democracy and the will of the majority by announcing his support for the ‘People’s Vote Summer of Action’ to avoid a no deal scenario, which according to Lineker, will have ‘terrible consequences’ for the UK. Also, Lineker reckons that the mess our politicians have made of Brexit is entirely because of us, the people, giving them the ‘problem’ of Brexit, by voting to leave the EU. Damn us pesky plebs.

No, Gary, WE are not responsible for the fuck up that parliament has made of Brexit. THEY are responsible for it. As with all the other EU loving traitors, like you, the vast majority of MP’s have blatantly refused to abide by the democratically expressed will of the majority. It’s been just over two years since the referendum, and we are no closer to leaving that wretched disorganisation than we were the day after the vote. That is entirely down to parliament. They were given clear instructions by the majority to carry out a complete and total withdrawal from the EU. Instead of doing that, they have spent 25 months arguing over what THEY think Brexit should be.

If people disagree with us leaving the EU, I have no problem with that. This is, supposedly, a free country, and they have every right to express their opposition. Cunts like Lineker though, think they also have the right to try to go against the will of the people, they are wrong. In my view, Lineker and all the other Brexit saboteurs are traitors. Plain and simple. And as said before, if they the love the EU so much, they should fuck off to an EU member state and leave those of us who love this country to get on with making it great again.

Gary Lineker, you overpaid, undereducated, jug eared cretin, you are a cunt!

Nominated by Quick Draw McGraw

It is hard to imagine that Gary Lineker could out cunt his already colossal cunishness but whether it is his DNA or lack of brain cells dear old Gary has managed to ramp up his cunt level yet again by giving his name to the campaign for another EU referendum. Our deeply philosophical and astute politically mined ex-footballer has declared to the nation ‘Brexit feels like it is “going very wrong indeed’ he quickly followed this rhetoric with the statement
‘I am not a politician but I know when something is going wrong and right now Brexit feels like it is going very wrong indeed.’

Well, you may not be a politician but that has not stopped you acting like a right cunt on all things Political. My advice is just to keep talking shit about football and keep out of the public eye with you inane comments because Gary all you are doing is proving to a nation what a truly mega cunt you are.

Nominated by iamnot