Prudential Ride London

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Urgh! As if it’s not enough to have to out up with irritating self righeous and selfish cyclists clogging up the roads in summer with unnecessary 2 or 3 abreast riding or riding down single lane country roads to annoy everyone, on Sunday they’re going to shut a frankly incredible about of roads for a cycling event whose apparent remit is blatant self promotion.

Who the fuck has the right to close all of these roads? Are we going to be compensated? What if someone has made plans? What if the emergency services can’t get there is time? Who the fuck cares apparently, it’s just another fly to swat in the path to cycling totalitarianism. We will all be do gooding middle aged middle class people, even if it kills us!

I just drove the A25 around to dorking and up to the M25 past Leatherhead, all of this will be closed. All of the A246 to Guildford, closed, that’s a massive stretch of road, there’s not much of an alternative, it will be a nightmare for those who couldn’t give 2 shits about cycling, and that s just a tiny bit of the route, it bloody goes all around into London!

Whoever organised this event, but even more whoever gave permission to fuck up a whole load of our roads for a vested interest. deserves a weighty and comprehensive cunting!

Nominated by Cunting Rank Wags

Madonna (5) and the VMA

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To ‘celebrate’ her 60th birthday (old fucking witch), old vacuum cleaner cunt has done a photoshoot for diversity propaganda pamphlet, Vogue… Sladge… sorry… Madge is dressed like some fairy queen in a horse drawn carriage with all her little brown kiddies ponced up to the nines…. The old slagbag virtue signals about Malawi and how she adores ‘her’ children… Naturally, how she acquired said brown kiddywinks and her multiple terminations for the sake her ambition and career are not mentioned… A disgusting slagwagon and a terrible human being of a cunt…

Nominated by Norman

And let’s not forget her VMA speech this week. On the subject of which :

This cunting’s like an asteroid waiting to hit the planet. You’ve got to cunt the VMA awards, it’s a crime against humanity not to.

Have you in all your puff ever seen anything like the parade of fat and ugly arses put in front of the public this time.

I swear that the cheeks of that Minaj lady ( whoever the fuck she is) would keep a whale oil lamp running for a year. Black Chyna (don’t know what the fuck she does)… the rendering plant will have to put on an extra shift when she goes and then; Amber Rose (who?) with a slash on her that should have warning signs around it.

When did fat, dimpled, lardy arses and wide open gashes become attractive?
I must have missed the email, give me the 60’s and 70’s style of girl and send these ones back to Budweiser to start pulling the carts again.

Nominated by Paul Ya Plonker

Dead Pool (108)

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Congratulations to WhatsTheFuckingPoint for correctly predicting that his neighbour’s cat William who was run over by a cunt in an Audi yesterday would be the next to die, sadly passing away at the vet in the early hours of the morning.

So we move on to Dead Poll 108.

Here are the rules (pay special attention to the first one):

1. Nominate who you think is the next cunt on the way out. You can have up to five choices. List your nominations in the comments of this post. It’s the current Dead Pool. Comments not in this post (e.g. in the previous one or other posts) will be ignored!

2. You win if your Cunt dies first.
Then the slate is wiped clean and we start again. Of course, you can always be a really annoying cunt and steal someone else’s dead cunt candidate from the previous pool (like Black and White Cunt frequently does).

3. A NEW RULE :
It actually has to be some newsworthy cunt that people have actually heard of!

Oh, and the usual “Our Blog Our Rules” thing applies.

The People’s Vote

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I would like to nominate everyone who is insisting that we need a second Brexit referendum (because they are not at all happy with the result of the first one).

Today Lord Kerslake, said that “if the government was unable to strike a deal with Brussels, there would have to be a pause” in the Article 50 process under which the UK will leave the EU on 29 March 2019”. He went on to say that in those circumstances, the European Commission would likely insist on some “re-examination” of the 2016 referendum decision to leave. “The consequences of a no deal would be so serious as I think Parliament would have to seriously consider whether it could contemplate this,” he said.

“The question people need ask themselves is: is this a risk that they think we should be taking? If the government can negotiate a good deal, then so be it.
But if they can’t and we end up in this position, then we have to reopen the question of whether we go forward with Brexit at all. It is not too late to do that.”

Well my old mucker Kerslake, it was absolutely clear to absolutely everyone that the unelected cunts at the EU never wanted a deal, so the only option is to leave without one. We do not pay them any money and simply walk away. They had the chance to be reasonable and grown up about things but decided instead to be vindictive arseholes to a country that they should be thankful to.

As an unelected cunt in the house of Lords who the fuck are you and what gives you the right to tell the nation who voted to leave the corrupt and frankly ridiculous European Union that they got it wrong? Stupid little turd..

Also today millionaire twat Superdry co-founder Julian Dunkerton (who has pledged £1m to the People’s Vote campaign) said “we have a genuine chance to turn this around”.

No you stupid cunts- we have already had a referendum and the result was TO LEAVE. The question was not ambiguous and both Conservatives and Labour said this meant leaving the single market and the customs union.

Article 50 has been triggered so we MUST now leave, either with a deal or with no deal. And if you remember, the unelected wankers at the EU threatened us unequivocally (just before article 50 was eventually triggered) that
Article 50 is irreversible. Why must there be a pause? Think you just made that up. Cunt.

Fed up with the Remain fuckers now- have really had enough and they are becoming tiresome. Nigel- really don’t know how you managed to keep your sanity over the last 20 years. But glad you are back on side.

Nominated by willie stroker

Daleks

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Daleks, fucking Daleks would you fucking believe it. Well in need of an Inter-Galatic Cunting.

When i was a kid I was always safe in the knowledge that if they really invaded earth I’d always be able to escape their evil intentions and their desire to ‘exterminate’ anything that threatened them or they didn’t like by simply running up the stairs.

How wrong could I have been.

Yesterday I turned on the telly and can you believe it, right in front of me was what I must assume is the latest generation Dalek.

I was reminded of the Terminator 1 and 2 films and how the next generation was much more human like than its predecessor, T2 could experience pain and had ‘feelings’.

Daleks have indeed come a long way. The T2 Dalek I watched was so advanced it could actually feel offended and victimised and has actually gone as far as reporting a politician for a hate crime.

Whatever will they think of next? Thought crime?

Nominated by CuntyMcCuntface

Daleks are fucking useless. How many times have they had the dead drop on the Doctor, it’s a fair cop and bang to rights, without doing him on the spot? Naturally he’ll duck out again at the first opportunity, and give the mardy arsed tin cans yet another right kicking up their metal arseholes.

Take over the universe? Yer ‘aving a larf. They couldn’t take the skin off a rice pudding.

PS. Cybermen are even more fucking useless than Daleks, and that’s really saying something.

Nominated by Ron Knee