Cunts that Value my Feedback

Yet another aspect of the modern World (where I clearly don’t belong) that is galloping out of control and increasingly winding me up. There seems to be a direct correlation between the rate at which the standard, speed and courtesy of many services is deteriorating and a global obsession with finding out how I score those very same services. My whole life is turning into a gameshow.
Why does everything need a fucking score out of 5?

If I enjoyed the meal and you were a pleasant and attentive waiter, I will tip you a tenner.

If you have charged me for carrying out a full service on my car, yet I can still see the mileage written in my own handwriting on the oil filter that I fitted a year ago, I will leave you in no doubt that I am ‘not best pleased’ and you need to sort the fucker out fairly sharpish.

I do not want, or need, to get home and receive a hatful of Emails asking me to rate my ‘experience’ or whether I would ‘recommend you to a friend’. (Particularly hurtful that one; do I look like the sort of cunt that has friends?). Nor do I want a chirpy follow up Email every day for the rest of my life simply because I once bought a printer cartridge from you.

And even if this practice is understandable and a necessary evil for certain business sectors (thank fuck for Trip Advisor, after all) it seems to have spread to almost every organisation that I have the misfortune to deal with.

Just this week Vodafone Customer Services (Cairo Branch, for some reason), Halfords, Lloyds Bank, my Dentist, my Doctor’s Surgery, my local Pharmacy, SW Trains and Rick Stein are all desperate to know what I think about them. (Just another week in paradise, eh?) I also signed up to do a very popular charity cycle ride in the summer and in addition to asking if I was male/female/trans/other and what ethnic group and religion I represent (surely riding a bike is one of the few things we can all do without disagreeing?) I couldn’t complete the registration without doing a 3-page questionnaire about the registration process itself. For Fuck’s Sake!

Even the local plod, who were far too busy to send someone to investigate when I had a bike nicked out of my garden shed before Christmas, were quick enough to offer me counselling as a ‘Victim of Crime’ and then sent me a bloody online questionnaire to get my ‘Valued Feedback’ on the service provided.

Fuck right off. What about getting my Valued Bike Back instead?

PS Don’t waste your time letting me know what you think about this nomination or anything above, where you first heard it or whether you would share it with a friend. Your scoring – especially if it contains any criticism – means nothing to me and will be given a good stiff ignoring. I need to send out these bullshit questionnaires because some ISO auditor said it would prove I have a Quality Control system in place, but I don’t really give a fuck and I’m not going to change anything based on your response anyway. Save your breath.

Nominated by Gunner Sugden

‘Courtesy Calls’

Brirrrrrrrrrrring brirrrrrrrrrrring!

Me; ‘hello’
Caller; ‘good morning! Is that Mr Knee?’
Me; ‘who’s this?’
Caller; ‘aaah, my name’s Natasha. This is a courtesy call…’
Me; ‘a what? What’s a courtesy call? Hang on, what are you selling?’
Caller; ‘aaah, I’m not trying to sell you anything. We’re in your area…’.
Me; ‘if you’re not trying to sell me anything, why are you phoning me?’
Caller; ‘well, it’s a courtesy call to offer advice on new kitchens…’

Click! Brrrrrrrrrrr…

Just so you know, cunters, because I’m sure you’d never have guessed, that ‘courtesy calls’ are absolutely positively not nuisance calls. ‘Courtesy callers’ are absolutely positively not trying to sell you anything. Ever. They’re just trying to brighten up your day by adding a bit of novelty. Bless!

Nominated by Ron Knee

Ross Greer is a cunt.
No, I’d never heard of the cunt either, but he’s some wet behind the ears, know fuck all Scottish MEP of the Greens persuasion. The spotty ginger dangleberry has decided to educate the world via the cunt echo that is Twitter on Winston Churchill, and the FACT that he was a white supremacist mass murderer. Not sure where he gets his facts from, Owen Jones’ Twitter feed? He seems to have done it for the infamy, as quite a few cunts have had a pop at him, including über Cunt Piers Morgan calling him ‘a ginger turd’. Well Mr Greer, enjoy your thirty minutes in the spotlight, as tomorrow, no one will remember you, and your importance will slide around the S bend of life, never to be seen again. What the fuck do they teach in schools these days!

Nominated by Gutstick Japseye

This is a humble request for an immediate and urgent Cunting for Ross Greer.
Who the fuck is Ross Greer ?
Well I hadn’t heard of him either.
Apparently he is a Green Party MSP, being elected at the tender age of 21.
He’s never done a days work in his life, and even failed to graduate from university, where he was studying Politics and Psychology, a sad loss to the nation I’m sure you’ll agree.
Why is he a cunt ? Well after doing some reading up on him it is clear to me that he is a multi layered cunt. However, the reason for this Cunting is the fact that on the anniversary of Churchill’s death last week, this ginger topped fucking virgin tweeted that the wartime leader was a white supremacist and mass murderer.
Now Churchill was no innocent, but there is no doubt that without his strong leadership, this country would have fallen.
In his 24 years, Ross Greer has done the sum total of fuck all worthwhile, yet he has the fucking gall to besmirch one of the greatest Britons to draw breath.
I have scoured the Internet looking for his denunciations of Stalin, Mao, Hitler etc. and can find not one word, nothing, zero.
No, this little Jackanapes just homes in on a man that helped provide him with the freedoms he enjoys today.
This Cunt is a total fuckwit and an inconsequential lightweight whose inane tweets belittle people who have actually done something for this country.
By the time my uncle was 24 he’d dropped a large tonnage of bombs on the Hun.
This cunt can’t even complete a degree.
Fuck off.

Nominated by Jack The Cunter

The Doran family make you proud to be British.

The gypsy scum roll into New Zealand to wreak havoc on the locals and then have the unmitigated bare faced gall to complain about their treatment after the New Zealand government served them with a deportation order.

These feckless fuckers are even threatening to sue the the Kiwi government after they described the family as ‘scum’ and ‘worse than pigs’. So what did they do to deserve this?

Well, they trashed a beach, threatened locals, left restaurants without paying, trashed the apartment they were staying in, got arrested for assault with a weapon, reckless driving, theft, and fraudulent use of documents.

To top that off, they threatened to ‘knock the brains out’ of locals, trashed their hire car and threatened to assault a cameraman. Another favourite trick was to drop flies and hair into food to avoid paying – although I would have thought that was the way they normally ate?

Amazingly, we let these cunts back into Britain where they threatened to smash a press man’s camera – although to be fair they were pissed on Red Bull at the time (6:30 am). They then sounded off about going to the CAB and Court of Human Rights – no doubt on legal aid as we’re just fucking stupid enough in this country to let them.

A simple question has crossed my mind tho’ and that’s how the fuck did this thieving scum afford the trip in the first place. Perhaps HMRC could ask them?

Nominated by Dioclese

This is beyond Monty Pythonesque!This is sheer cunty piss-taking by British Tourists at its finest.

These knob-ends caused a furore the length and breadth of New Zealand getting all up in the face of the locals: Kiwis hate confrontation, can’t take a timely sledge and are very protective of God-zone. They won’t take trashing of the nation lying down.The UK, after, all, did send its finest to the Land of the Cunty Long White Cloud to do a whole lotta mutual shit kicking with the natives, after which they settled their differences and intermarried and generally avoided the incestuous interbreeding of criminal lines and subjugation of the natives, those poor cunts, the Abos across the Tasman, (Fuck Australia Day), but that’s a whole ‘nother cunting in the wings.

Anyway, both Whiteys and Maori alike are very protective and territorial. We know how to fight, and fight dirty but the cunts don’t always like to buy a fight so these Priceless Touristy Cunts did a right good job outraging the locals and flushing the natives out all over social media in droves. These cunts left trash everywhere they went and hotel rooms smelling of ‘poo’, culminating in the Mayor of Auckland, Phil Goff calling the family “worse than pigs”.
(BTW Goffo is a grubby cunt who’s a serial trougher from the way back so he is one to talk) One hand on his meat hook and the other in the public purse since way back.

It started off with the family leaving litter on a beach and the locals (A bunch of white suburban entitled cunts got precious and the kids basically told everyone they encountered to fuck the fuck orf. One of the kids stole a plastic Christmas Tree from a gas station and threatened to, “knock the block off”, a concerned local who filmed them at the aforesaid beach.

It all degenerated from there and the family was approached by Immigration New Zealand after they allegedly left a trail of destruction in their wake. This almost triggered a race war between NZ and the UK. These clowns were the subject of racial slurs and got called Irish and Gypsy scum. I’ve got gypsy blood and dat don’t bother me, in fact, I find it as amusing as fuck, as it’s what I did back in the day as a student. Leave my trash behind, score free meals and go incognito. Joe Doran, with a new blond hairstyle, told the Daily Mail they were being blamed for “everyone else’s doings”.

Canny Cunts. You’ve got to reserve your cash. NZ is an expensive Socialist Island nation.

Today they landed back in the UK

“It’s been the holiday from hell. It’s lies, they’ve condemned us. We’ve been hiding in the mountains for two days. We wanted to see the Hobbits, Lord of the Rings, didn’t get to see that.” Cute.

And:

“He told the Daily Mail they were going to go to the “Citizens Advice people and the Human Rights people”.

Whether you want to hug ’em or hurt, ’em, this UK family is a bunch of Fucking Funny Cunts. Big ups for dodging the pillorying in the offing. Even going so far as dying their hair.

Nominated by CaliAngel

I would like to nominate Alena Ivanova.

Who the fuck is this Cunt!!!! Exactly.

Last night 10th Jan I decided to watch Question Time, the first with Fiona B, but before it came on I thought I would just catch the first 15 minutes of Newsnight.

So there are 4 people on the opening discussion, one of which is this Alena Ivanova, usual left wing cunt calling for the peoples vote, as I didnt know who this fucker was I googled her.
Turns out she is a Labour Party activist and Momentum member, guess where…. yep Tower Hamlets. I found a piece from the Guardian, supposedly written by this fucker, I think there was quite a bit of assistance from a professional journalist about stopping Brexit, but I copied one paragraph below.

“I am a migrant worker in Britain, and I see and live through all this. I refuse to be put in a separate category from the British working class, and I refuse to have my position painted as elitist, centrist, or an attempt to destabilise Corbyn. In wanting to stop a Tory Brexit, I am not in a minority either – not on the left, and not in Labour.”

So This fucker isnt even allowed to vote in a referendum or general election but the BBC are giving her a platform, I doubt this would be the case if some foreign fucker wanted to promote a right wing agenda!

Following on from this piss boiling episode was Question Time, Nish Kumar, not funny cunt coming out with absolute bollocks, knock Brexit with a shit attempt at humour. I managed to get through the programmme without exploding but also utilising the time to complain to the BBC about the nominated cunt above.

Straight after Question Time was This Week, I usually watch this as there is always a lighthearted element and on this occasion would be a nice wind down from the previous two piss boiling episodes.

Not this time….. The fucking super cunt that is Owen Jones was on, and what a magnificent cuntish performance he gave, it all ended in a shouting match between him and Andrew Neil, I don’t know how Andrew Neil managed not to smack the cunt all over the studio, I would have kicked his arse for sure.
If you have time watch it on catch up….

Alena Ivanova, Nish Kumar, Owen Jones, all in the space of an hour…. fucking boiled piss reaching superheated steam!

Nominated by sick of it