Random roadworks and all who sail in them are cunts.

At least once a year some cunts decide to have some roadworks on my B-road commute. This year’s effort exemplifies the methodology.
1. Place cones, warning signs, lights on randomly chosen constricted bit, preferably adjacent to junction (closed)
2. Carefully tune lights to allow three cars in either direction past (5 seconds) and adequate time for a pedestrian to traverse the 20-yard coned bit (1 minute, minimum) with both lights on red for most of it.
3. Alternatively tune lights so that east or westbound traffic gets a red all the time and has to use its imagination.
4. Do absolutely fuck-all to the road for a week. Unless you like playing with the hazard lights on your van/truck as you block the road completely to inspect the cones. It is imperative that the surface of the road remains untouched for this period. You can move the cones around a bit if you like.
5. Enjoy the two-mile tailback of people trying to get to work in the morning. This is optional. If you want a lie-in, feel free.
6. On Day 7, dig a very small hole and fill it in again. You can dismantle the roadworks after this, but on the other hand you may decide not to.

Is there any reason under Dog’s heaven why the traffic jam needs to happen on any other day than that of the actual works? And what festering management box is ticked by the CO2 and particulate emissions added to the normal quota by the inching-forward line of poor cunts trying to get to their own jobs and do them rather better than the braindead cunts in charge of highway repairs?

It’s uncivil engineering, and it’s a cunt.

Nominated by Komodo

Firstly, I’m a fat cunt. I could do with losing weight. I’m not a housebound obese lardy fatberg though. There is some self-restraint. I work outdoors and pay tax. I can fit in a hatchback. I really don’t mind my doctor telling me to lose weight, or anti- obesity campaigns. It’s a social issue that’s only getting worse.

The problem is the ‘professional’ fatties (mostly women, and most of them are feminists) whose whole identity is around being fat twats. They want unconditional acceptance. They want to be told they’re beautiful and believe in ‘health at any size’.

They don’t want to be harassed for their weight, or shamed for wearing tight clothing. The don’t want doctors telling them they need to get rid of bingo wings, jellyrolls, muffin tops and cankles. That they will keel over and die by 45.

Tough. Stop being so fucking fat.

You can ignore abuse, confront it or act on it. Don’t expect some empty-headed, top-down awareness campaign on clickbait sites to magically alter the near- universal perception of fat people as lazy, stupid, greedy and clumsy. It’s not going to happen. Stop demanding men date you (same for fat neckbeards and incels who whine that ‘government’ isn’t providing them with a girlfriend – disgusting, creepy entitled, semi-castrated wankers).

Try getting off social media, posting affirmative memes and saccharine Upworthy/Buzzfeed videos about being ‘plus-size divas’, and being told you’re beautiful ‘just the way you are’ by soft-headed, creepy liberal men with bum fluff moustaches. As a slim woman once pointed out to a fatty on some reality TV show (I saw a clip, not the programme).
‘For someone who says they’re really happy with their body you spend a lot of time crying’.

Stop reporting hate crimes because Katie Hopkins made fun of you, or have a twitter meltdown over a cancer research campaign. (Sophie Haagen, bloated feminist ‘comedienne’, of course.)

Suck it up, you tubby useless fucks. Get out there and waddle.

From a fellow fat cunt.

Nominated by Cuntamus Prime

I would like to nominate fgm and the cunts that do it for a truly heartfelt Cunting.

I’m keeping it short as this link provides all the info.

All I’ll say is. What the fuck are we doing letting these backward, evil fuckers into this country when they carry out these atrocities ?

Mutilation ? Casting spells ? Fuck off.

Send them back to the shitholes they came from.

Fucking savages.

Nominated by Jack the Cunter

Society is truly crumbling around us, a highly obnoxious toad wrapped in a camel vomit sauce is seen as a idol to some.

My first instinct is to wish someone continuous prosperity when they are doing well. A good job, a nice house, those sort of things. However when I see someone like this twat, I don’t get it. I see people working away in hard jobs earning a salary in a year that this hog wastes in a month and I ask myself, why? What is she offering that others can’t?

Television has changed, in my opinion not for the better, there are more channels than before but it’s quantity over quality and the likes of the shite she’s involved in are a prime example. Cheap to make, advertising revenue rises and the masses continue to engage in such terrible programming. A vicious circle that’s bursting at her waist.

To be fair she isn’t the only self important twat on television, there are many but if I could pick one person as an example of a rapid decline in entertainment then she would be it.

Nominated by John Cleese the 4th

‘The GC’

Let me count the ways I hate this fat cunt.

I’ve never even watched the dross she made her name in. And yet I know everything about her:-

• she’s fat
• she’s ignorant
• she’s obnoxious
• she’s completely devoid of any talent whatsoever
• she can barely string a sensible sentence together without doing that young cunts thing of starting every sentence with, ‘So,’ and every other cretinous word out of her fat yawning maw punctuated with the word ‘like’.

Nominated by Mecha-Rigsby

A larger than life, with extra generous gusset , cunting please for the vile obese old trollop who wears more slap than Anthony Blair would when he is playing pantomime dame. A revolting blow-up doll wanabee Hardly a day has gone by in 2019 when this talentless old hag has not wormed her monstrous carcass on to the front page of the British newspapers, by either acting, doing or saying saomething outrageous “I’m bigger than the Beatles” well, yes in terms of sheer weight she must be, but what is so worrying is that stupid cunt, known for reality TV and Dancing On Ice, seems to believe her own publicity.

I am sure ISAC writers could disabuse this fucking daft notion she has?

Nominated by W. C. Boggs

Anti-hunt protesters are Cunts.

Scruffy,hippy types,menopausal lezzas or naive students,in the main. I’ve nothing against the ones who turn up and video proceedings,keeps everyone honest,but I do have a problem with the “rent a mob” bunch who trespass,assault people going about their lawful business and cause danger to riders,members of the public and the horses and hounds.
Whether people like it or not,the hunting that goes on these days is legal. Protesters have a right to protest,but they do not have the right to disrupt. Most of their real problem isn’t the foxes’ welfare,it is a problem with “Snobbery”. They come from their dreadful housing-estates imagining that everyone involved in hunting is some Lord Fauntleroy type. They are wrong. My local Hunt is mainly farmers who,I suspect, know a damn sight more about the countryside,and care a damn sight more about the countryside than these jealous,benefit-claiming dregs.
Townies should stick to their shitty estates and leave the country folk to look after the Estates that matter. Estates where naive,middle-class Wankers or dole-whallahs aren’t wanted or needed.

Fuck Off and mind your own business.

PS…. I’m aware that the odd cat may be killed in the confusion of a hunt,but,tbh., I think that it’s a price worth paying.

Nominated by Dick Fiddler