Pedal Powered Parasites
The depths of my utter loathing for cyclists is unquantifiable. I have arranged to bequeath my palpable hatred of these lycra-clad cunts, to my nephew and his future offspring, in my Will.
This very evening, at the beer shop which I sometimes frequent, The Chase had finished and on comes the Welsh News. (Bad enough, I know but at least it’s in English). Second item up, some “professional cyclist” is loudly bemoaning the proliferation of potholes on the Welsh roads – having gone arse-over-tit off his bicycle when the front wheel of his Raleigh Tomahawk, or suchlike, entered a pothole at, apparently 30mph. (Err, slow down, you cunt).
The whole (frankly hilarious) footage, which made me crop-spray my pint across my fellow imbibers, is available on YouLube. It was a life affirmingly joyous experience to watch the silly cunt bowling over and over, bikeless, limbs in all directions across the hard tarmac. I may have to watch it on repeat later.
However, the cuntability factor in this, is that the waste of blood and organs that are known as cyclists, contribute fuck all to the upkeep of roads which they so freely infest. Try chucking a few quid into the system, like us motorists do, in Vehicle Duty, Tax on Fuel, Vat on Fuel, Insurance Tax, Annual MOT, Vat on Tyres, Servicing etc – Then come back on telly to piss and moan about potholes.
Oh and cough up for my pint whilst you’re at it !
Nominated by Cunt Reviled