Having to State the Bleedin’ Obvious!

I was on Amazon earlier this morning looking for an anti-glare screen for my laptop as I can’t see a fucking thing when I use it outside in the garden with the sun shining.

Anyway, there was some decent choices on offer, but I also noted that some photos showed a screen and a laptop, but next to it a big message saying “Laptop not included!”

And it got me thinking: do people actually think they’re going to get a laptop as well as an anti-glare screen, and all for £16.99? Well clearly some morons must think that way otherwise the sellers wouldn’t point the fact out!

And then I noticed similar instances for HDTVs (remote controls and set-top boxes), smartphones (protective covers) and other high value goods.

I can only conclude that customers in the past have tried to sue Amazon (or any retailer come to that), highlighting the fact that they were expecting to take delivery of say,a laptop, with their anti-glare screen because the photo suggested that was the case.

It’s just a new level of stupidity in my book: just like cretins who have an accident in their car because they were drinking a hot coffee from a fast-food joint. But the driver sued because there was no message on the side of the cup to suggest the contents might be fucking hot to hold while driving!

Or the morons who don’t remove the outer covers of frozen foods, and just whack them in the microwave and then find their house burns down because the cardboard packaging caught fire.

I even saw a sign at a train platform suggesting that if you wander out on the tracks you may end up seriously injured by an oncoming train (and they used pictures to make the fucking point even more clear!)

So now we have a situation where common sense goes out the window and everything we buy comes with a disclaimer message stating the fucking obvious just in case the thick cunt doesn’t have the intelligence to understand what to expect!

Common sense – what the fuck happened?

Nominated by NoCuntForOldMen

Milkshake throwers are cunts.
I don’t know where this pathetic form of protest comes from, but it can fuck right off. Obviously perpetuated by brainless fucks who know nothing of the subject they are protesting about, because if they did, they would be able to articulate themselves as to why the are so opposed to the recipient. No, let’s get some easy likes on social media by chucking a child’s drink over some cunt. As the targets of this nonsense are ‘extreme right wing activists’ the press and the plod are going easy on the perpetrators. Sourberries gets called names and there’s arrests all round, but get coated in the semi viscous chemical that passes for a milkshake in McDonald’s? Let’s see how lightly they get off…..

Nominated by Gutstick Japseye

Addition by Cupid Stunt

John Murphy, who egged Cuntbyn in March, received 28 days at Her Majesty’s pleasure. The decrepit old cow that put him away said, “a custodial sentence would send a clear message that attacks on MPs must stop.” Let’s see what happens to the Milk Shake cunt but don’t hold your breath.

People who bleach their teeth are cunts, aren’t they.✨

Dazzling grinders giving off the glare of a lorry’s headlights. Smiles that glow a nuclear purple. Christ on a hover board…just use a toothbrush you phosphorescent phuckwits.

Is this a subconscious desire to be a 1980s Gameshow host? The rate of cuntitude is unsurprising in the culprits: Christian Ronaldo, Bieber, Tom Cruise… but it’s not just arse-pirates who bleach their gnashers. Emma Watson, Jürgen Klöpp, the Beckhams, the Gallaghers, Morgan bloody Freeman, Colin one-trick Firth, and Emma “Aeroplane loyalty card” Thompson all shine a torch in your face.

Judging by that list of horrible cunts, let’s hope there are plenty of chemical disasters.

Listen Twinkles, teeth aren’t meant to be bright white. You look like a cunt. A dazzling, incandescent, abnormal, unnatural cunt.

?

Nominated by Captain Magnanimous

“Heroes and Warriors”.

I’m sick of the hyperbole employed by sports commentators and reporters. I don’t just mean football, I’ve heard it many other sports…even fucking darts and snooker players being described as “warriors”.

However,football seems to be the most extreme example… ” He’s a warrior,a midfield enforcer” which normally precedes the warrior/enforcer falling to the floor,rolling around while screaming like a girl after an opposition player as much as farts within 5 yards of him.
” The Gods blessed him with a magical left foot”….well,good of them,no doubt,but they “gifted” just about everyone with a left foot….”magical”,possibly not,but still capable of kicking a ball which is pretty much all his does.

” The greatest comeback since Lazarus”…a phrase so overused lately that I suspect that it is beyond resurrection itself.

“If you cut him,he’d bleed red/white/blue”…Oh,yes…until he was offered a massive pay rise by some club that played in green/black/yellow.

“A loyal club servant committed to taking the club forward”…..his agent couldn’t get him the move to a better-paying club so he’s going to run his contract down until he can take advantage of the Bosman ruling.

” The day that the whole city has been waiting for”….no,most of the “city” won’t give a shit apart from wondering if their local is going to be trashed by a group of yobs in footy shirts,or will they be attacked for wearing the wrong colour bobble-hat.

” He’s an intelligent footballer”…now this is the worst,sheer bollocks…all footballers are as thick as pigshit or they’d have opted out of football as children as taken up a Real Man’s Game…..RUGBY. (Sorry,did try and resist the urge…nah, I didn’t really)

Fuck Off.

Nominated by Dick Fiddler

The cunts cunt has been spending more of her husbands money on adverts “designed to speak to wimmin”. The demented old trollop is plainly getting desperate:

https://www.express.co.uk/news/politics/1130930/european-elections-vote-2019-live-UK-candidates-brexit-party-theresa-may-EU

Do wimmin really fall for this horseshit from a tart with her own mercenary reasons for wanting to stay in the EU. Even Mrs. Boggs can see through the old cunt.

Nominated by W. C. Boggs