David Milliband [3]


As if it is not bad enough that we have Bernie Winters in the cabinet (with Dirty Ange as the dog), it seems his oh-so-serious brother Mike is on the way back to importance” – yes David Miliband who used to vie with Mandy Mandelson to be Blair’s arse-licker in chief, is, apparently, lobbying to become British Ambassador in Washington, if the Donald prevents queen Mandy for taking the throne.

What a cabinet full of back-stabbers as well as shit stabbers Kweer employs!

It seems that the £800,000 a year Dodgy Dave “earns” from the “charity” he oversees International Rescue, isn’t quite enough to support him, his cello playing wife and the two sons he paid to adopt (to give that family man image).

I suppose Dave is a slightly better closet case (the wife and children give off an illusion of normality), rather than that posturing effeminate 70 something mincing bum boy, but does this country really want the other Miliband back when you consider the fuck-up his brother is making?: Perhaps Ed and Dave should have a good old bitch fight in public to decide, handbags and powder compacts at dawn.

iNews.

Nominated by : W. C. Boggs

Dead Pool [349]

Congratulations to the Cunt Man of Alcatraz who has gone and won Dead Pool 348 by picking the legendary British Sitcom Actor Brian Murphy who died at his home on Sunday following a short battle with cancer aged 92.Murphy was best known for his role as George Roper the downtrodden husband of Mildred Roper played by the late Yoitha Joyce in Man about The House and George and Mildred which ended in 1980 when Joyce died aged just 53.Murphy went on to star in The Booze Cruise,Last of the Summer Wine, ,Benidorm ,Brookside and Wizadora which was a childhood favourite of mine!He is survived by his second wife the actress Linda Regan.

On to Dead Pool 349

The rules:

1)Pick 5 famous cunts you think will conk out next .No duplicates and it is first come first serve.You can always be a cunt and steal someone elses nominations from the previous pool.

2)Anyone who nominates the worlds oldest man or woman is a cunt who we will ignore.

3)It must be a famous cunt we have heard of.

4)No swapping picks mid pool unless your nomination has already been picked.

5)Hits are rewarded in chronology of death reporting and not necessarily in chrology of death.

Benefit Cheats (2)

“could lose driving licences in anti-fraud drive” trumpets BBC News!

I’m not sure if the pun is intentional, or just that the 14 year old who wrote this headline was unaware of the irony.

bbcnews

Four paragraphs down is a link to a £240k debt write off, because the cheater has died, after screwing the system for 15 years!

Anyway, back to the thrust of this nom.
Who on earth would think that anyone who has been caught out cheating the system would give two flying fucks about their driving licence ( assuming they have one) being suspended?

This measure, if it’s actually introduced and not just a virtual sticking plaster, will make no difference at all to those convicted of benefit fraud who have failed to make court ordered reparations, and anyone who thinks it will is severely deluded.

Also, referring to the case mentioned above, of the £240k write off, the fiddle went on for 15 years, 15 fucking years! I can’t get my breath.

Nominated by Jeezum Priest.

David Lammy MP [21]


“Good afternoon. This is IsAC’s political correspondent Ron Knee reporting. Today I have the *cough* honour to speak to the UK’s Foreign Secretary David Lammy, to discuss the government’s position following the inauguration of President Trump”

“Yessir. How do boss. Well now ah wants ta tell ya all dat Mr Trump ain’t just Mr Trump no more, he’s Da Donald. He gracious an’ generous man. Ah’ll find common ground with him, an’ build ah partnuhship with him in our nashnull internet. Th’ world am glad he returnin’ ta da Big White House bro”

“Er, hang on… Just a few short years ago (presumably when you thought Mr Trump was finished) you called him ‘a tyrant’, and ‘a woman-hating, neo-Nazi sociopath’, among other things”

“Yeh uh well dat all ol’ hat bro, water over de bridge. An ah was misappropriated at da time innit. Only las’ year ah had a dinner with him, an’ he give me extra chiggun! Ah was so happy, ah did the ol’ soft shoe shuffle and gave ’em a song; ‘dem bones, dem bones dem drah bones’…”

“Extraordinary. That must have done wonders to ease any latent tensions. Now I understand that our dear PM is also keen to go to Washington soon to repair relations after being snubbed by Mr Trump and not invited to the inauguration”

“Dat right; the boss wanna talk about de speciality relationship an er…well dat kind of speciality relationship stuff, an ‘deals ta buy an’ sell stuff, an’ de war in Uganda thing ya know what ah mean?”

“Well that’s absolutely fascinating… I think you mean the war in Ukraine by the way”

“Yeah dat one as well. But dat’s you all done man, gotta go back ta de House ta get ma expenses claim in an’ some chiggun peanut stew innit. Dis Secretaryin’ thing doin’ ma head in, know what ah’m sayin an’ stuff?”

“Well not really, but thank you anyway. This is Ron Knee, for IsAC, returning you to the studio”

Standard.

Nominated by : Ron Knee

Government “Plans”

I would really like it if the current “government” stopped boiling my piss by putting a moratorium on the word “plan” and “plans”. Here is ther latest example from weak as piss Pixieballs Cooper:

AOL News.

Ydes – a “plan” for giving £10m for local investigations into CSA by mainly Pakistani British men of young vulnerable girls. We all know that these local enquiries will be quietly buried, so as not to embarrass Cooper’s boss, who was DPP during many of the excesses, 2009-2014.

But – plans – £”labour has a plan was trotted out for virtually everything by Kweer and his pansies for a year or two before the election. NHS? – Labour has a plan. Illegal immigration? – Labour has a plan. Social care? – Labour has a plan.

You get my drift?

We all know now (if we didn’t know then, and many of us did) that Labour had – and has – fuck all.

Who would expect mincing be-lipsticked Wes Streeting to have any sort of plan about anything other than bum sex. Kicking social care into the long grass was his only “plan”. The same with little Yvette (did she buy those nice blue glasses herself or did Gaylord Alli buy them for her?) – I Want Some Blue Glasses For A Red Lady – any “local report/enquiry” will be sat on – probably under the massive arse of Dame Emily.

It has got to the point now that the word plan is like a red rag to a bull. I am beginning to feel – for all her bluster – that Kemi won’t be much better. She has been announcing “plans”., and you think what the fuck for. None of that Westminster shower stick to their word – or their “plans”

Nominated by W C Boggs.