“Good afternoon. This is IsAC’s political correspondent Ron Knee reporting. Today I have the *cough* honour to speak to the UK’s Foreign Secretary David Lammy, to discuss the government’s position following the inauguration of President Trump”
“Yessir. How do boss. Well now ah wants ta tell ya all dat Mr Trump ain’t just Mr Trump no more, he’s Da Donald. He gracious an’ generous man. Ah’ll find common ground with him, an’ build ah partnuhship with him in our nashnull internet. Th’ world am glad he returnin’ ta da Big White House bro”
“Er, hang on… Just a few short years ago (presumably when you thought Mr Trump was finished) you called him ‘a tyrant’, and ‘a woman-hating, neo-Nazi sociopath’, among other things”
“Yeh uh well dat all ol’ hat bro, water over de bridge. An ah was misappropriated at da time innit. Only las’ year ah had a dinner with him, an’ he give me extra chiggun! Ah was so happy, ah did the ol’ soft shoe shuffle and gave ’em a song; ‘dem bones, dem bones dem drah bones’…”
“Extraordinary. That must have done wonders to ease any latent tensions. Now I understand that our dear PM is also keen to go to Washington soon to repair relations after being snubbed by Mr Trump and not invited to the inauguration”
“Dat right; the boss wanna talk about de speciality relationship an er…well dat kind of speciality relationship stuff, an ‘deals ta buy an’ sell stuff, an’ de war in Uganda thing ya know what ah mean?”
“Well that’s absolutely fascinating… I think you mean the war in Ukraine by the way”
“Yeah dat one as well. But dat’s you all done man, gotta go back ta de House ta get ma expenses claim in an’ some chiggun peanut stew innit. Dis Secretaryin’ thing doin’ ma head in, know what ah’m sayin an’ stuff?”
“Well not really, but thank you anyway. This is Ron Knee, for IsAC, returning you to the studio”
Standard.
Nominated by : Ron Knee
