We have news in from the Republic of Ireland after a standoff at Dublin Zoo the SDU have been deployed, they have killed 3 Gorillas and freed 12 ostriches!

other news, the Cessna plane crash in Deansgrange, Dublin police have removed over 300 bodies

Oh come on they are shit jokes But We get to read yours every day !

Pissed and bored admin waiting for a change over# tag, you are fucking late sniff before you touch

and you need to change the flowers too.

UK Border Force, HM Coastguard and the UK Government ably assisted 90 illegal immigrants onto UK shores yesterday. This successful breach of the UK border by these illegal immigrants was reported by the media, and no doubt seen online on their Iphones by the next lot waiting for lift off in France, and voila! Today we have another 102 illegals arriving and safely helped ashore by the aforementioned co-ordinated, tax payer-funded, taxi service cunts.

Never mind the eyesis brides like Eebygum Treebor and all the ex-freedom fighters going through the law courts trying to get back here to resume their stiff upper lip Britishness. There’s an easier way back in..

Any cunt on a Lilo can just paddle across from France and be helped onto shore for a nice cup of tea and biscuits, bed, board and benefits. Any and all of these people helped onto our shores by the pseudo defenders of our borders could be absolutely anyone, and considering they saw fit not to claim asylum through the legal channels, but roll in illegally with likely no documentation, they are as likely to be rapists, murderers, religious fanatics or just plain and simple Jihadists as they are to be genuine refugees fleeing a war torn country.

If they are fleeing war, conflict or oppression, where are their mothers, where are their sisters, where are their grandparents, where are all the wimmin? Left to fend for themselves in the war zone, while in all the news reports I see a club 18-30 for fighting and breeding age young men rolling up for rescue? I’m not buying it! Are you? If it was a genuine thing, the first people heading out to safety would be the wimmin and children with the elderly in tow. Not fighting age geezers.

So, our Border Force and associated crews should be sending these people back and defending our shores, rather than flicking the kettle on before they jump on their boats every night and pan around with their search lights shouting, “How many sugars?!”

Cunts, one and all of them.

Nominated by Cuntry Cunt

Most of you seem quite well educated and experienced in life. Our recent exit from the EU is by far a minor victory in a major challenge. I always looked at it with a view to sovereignty and our own laws (being able to uphold and enforce them).

Now take this scenario: As an employer, I interview applicants for jobs. I want someone who will fit in and not go against the grain of my organisation, or upset my current work force. I would not accept an applicant’s reason for application to be “I need a job to move here and money to feed my kids”. I want a genuine person who wants to fit in. Next we have periods of probation at work. The applicant must fulfil certain criteria and expectations and once they have passed this period, they have full employment rights.

Now under employment rights, I can fire you on the spot for negligence, or “If your presence in the workplace presents a threat to others or yourself” (Look it up, its in the law) I have done this three times so far and only once on the safety grounds issue. Now I will skip to the meat of the sermon. A lot of the problems we are now facing are not EU related. They are Commonwealth related. Yes, we do offer preferential treatment to Commonwealth citizens, but there must be a limit.

If you have a business that is employing illegal immigrants, you are exploiting your own kind and avoiding taxes to this government and people who offered you help. Maybe you should pack up your wealth and go home. Likewise, the criminals. Firstly, I have no idea why you were allowed in, but take a leaf out of my book. When someone invites me round their house, I do one of two things. Either refuse, or behave. I certainly don’t shit on their carpet and expect them to feed me. I cannot understand why they are not automatically excluded on sentencing.

Now I have probably come across as a right racist cunt, so lets go a little further. We have an internal crisis of ‘benefits Britain’. Families that have not worked for three generations, arguably hence the requirement for migrant labour. Well, they need a kick up the arse too. My grandparents idea of a holiday was to go hops picking, or fruit picking, to get a bit of pay and a bit of sun. The Benefit laws need to be changed so that these able bodied people can travel for seasonal work and have their benefits reinstated quicker when the job runs out. That’s probably why they do not even try.

So that’s a treble cunting on a fucked laptop, after a few beers.

Nominated by lord benny

Shami Chakrabati is in need of another cunting.

Cunt is like herpes…we can’t get rid of her – Admin

Appears that the twat is upset about extending the time Jihadi peacefuls have to stay in the clink. Since 2005, you get out after half your sentence, so Chukurbatty is very riled cos the evil Boris wants the murdering, traitors to do their full stretch. As usual, she cares not one iota for us poor bastards who, if unlucky, may find ourselves the target of a demented, goat fucker intent on causing murder and mayhem.

Thank you, Chuckurbatty for making my life more fun, if you and your cuntish friends have your pathetic, libtard way. Just as well I kept the sword canes. Pray I have time to deploy said blade if attacked by a knife-wielding goat fucker.

Nominated by Black biscuit

Ewan McGregor is a cunt for at least two reasons. The first, and most topical, is because he is playing the baddie in the latest in the long line of shite superhero children’s films that it’s become acceptable for retarded adults to like – “Birds of Prey”.

The makers of said film have decided – as the lead is Margot Robbie, i.e. female – to brand it as some #metoo fuckfest to capitalise on the purses of the fans of screeching Rose McGowan-type harridans that cry rape the second the shine’s worn thin on their Oscar and the money’s dried up. Ewan has gone all in on this – referring to himself as the film’s “villain and CHIEF MISOGYNER”…… you utter, utter, utter cunt. Basically, instead of a daft action film this is now men = bad, women = good.

https://screenrant.com/birds-prey-ewan-mcgregor-female-driven-proud-black-mask-misogyny/

The second, and less topical, is for the fact that he and his bum-chum Charlie Boorman decided to try and ruin motorcycling about 15 years ago, changing it from a pastime for law-ignoring psychopaths like myself into one largely for middle-class, doddering wankers with too much money and time on their hands.

They rode “around the world” on the prick’s bike of choice, BMWs – ignoring the fact that most of the journey was done on ferries with the bikes safely tucked away while they quaffed champers on the First-Class deck – by themselves. Except for a camera crew and about 12 transit vans full of support staff. Next thing you know every midlife crisis tosser has gone out and bought himself one of the same godawful “adventure bikes” and three grands worth of matching jackets, poncing about on the roads of a weekend, getting in the way as they wobble round corners at forty MPH. Ewan (and Charlie) – you’re a cunt.

Nominated by Cuntan the Cuntarian

Ewan McGregor deserves a planet sized cunting for being a preaching hypocrite. He has a new flick out right now, “Birds of Prey”, and by all accounts, it’s a flop. It’s taken about $33 million worldwide in its opening weekend, which is really not good. In fact, an avid DC extended universe fan I know has told me that it’s the worst opening weekend for a DC universe movie. Ever.

Anyway, leaving aside the shiteness of the movie, McGregor has been on the promo circuit, bigging up the movie and lecturing us all on misogyny and the importance of respecting women and all tha….wait…what? Ewan…fucking…McGregor. YOU are telling US that we need to respect women? You mean, like you respected your wife when you cheated on her and then dumped her for the other woman? Fuck off, you arrogant hypocrite! McGregor is the LAST person on Earth to lecture anyone about respecting women. I may have been married twice, but at least I’ve never cheated on either of my wives. That fact alone, in my opinion, already sets me above an adulterer like Obi Wan Ke-Knobhead. I don’t need a lecture on misogyny from a jumped up twat like McGregor. I don’t need to be told to respect women, by a man who couldn’t show his own family any respect.

Fuck off McGregor. Cunt!

Nominated by Quick Draw McGraw