I recently watched a family eating a bar meal and was fucking outraged.
There they sat, the Common-Pleb family in all their glory. They’d obviously gone to a lot of trouble in order to dress for dinner…Dad had his finest market stall joggers and Hawaiian shirt, Mum, some truly hideous lurid pink “leisure suit” straining at the stitches over her bloated form, child dressed identically to the Mother ( and even appeared to have an identical number of blubber rolls…well,I suppose imitation is the sincerest form of flattery).
After ordering their burgers and chips, (“No Salad….we don’t eat that muck”) they sat and played with their phones until their food arrived. No need for cutlery..in their snouts went, elbows on the table, chewing with their mouths open, wiping their greasy mouths with sleeves and the back of hands, slurping their drinks, stuffing their mouths ( I did laugh when the child burned it’s mouth on the hot cheese in the middle of the burger).
Now, I’m no snob, but really. Fair enough if they chose to eat like animals in their own appalling home, sat on the sofa in front of the telly no doubt, but you’d think that in public they’d make some kind of effort.
P.S. I bet if they ever did use a knife while dining, they would hold it like a pen. I’ve noticed that is a sure sign of ill-breeding. If I noticed a guest at one of my exclusive dinner parties holding a knife like a pen, I would order them to leave immediately. It would be the kindest thing for them. That type would obviously feel more at home dining at “Maccy D’s” than at my silver service, haute cuisine table.
Fuck Off.
Nominated by Dick de Pfeffel Foxchaser-Fiddler
Sport Relief (on yesterday), another charity fundraising thing showing the same sort of stupid videos of starving africans due to the fact that 50 percent of the money raised goes over there. 
