Perhaps its because I’m getting older and far less tolerant, but I did find noise to be a right old cunt!

Clearly circumstances differ for different people, but in my case I’m awakened by a noisy cockerel doing the “cock-a-doodle-do” 50 times over at some outlandish bloody time.

Then there’s all the audio notifications from my various tablets and phones, some of which I have to leave on because they’re work-related regarding server or job failures etc.

Add to that the racket in the kitchen with the microwave pinging, and the coffee machine peculating, the toaster pinging, and the washing machine whirring.

Then the missus wakes up and almost instantly she switches on either the TV for the BBC news bollocks, or the radio, and some awful 80s radio station. And off she chirps trying to sing with some old cunt pop stars from her era. But quite frankly I’ve heard better noise from the pneumatic drill the local water company are currently using to dig up the same bit of road they dug up about a year ago to fix a leak in the same pipework they laid a year ago!

Then you get the sheep and cows bleating and mooing; and that fucking cockerel is still giving in large an hour after waking me up!

From time to time we might get the military from Eskmeals firing missiles overhead and into the sea – all part of their practice just in case we get invaded. And add to that the RAF and USAF flying their jets overhead, again for a bit of practice, but they’re noisy cunts whatever they’re playing at.

Hop into the car and the dashboard emits the usual beeps and bleeps, and some cunt tells me to fasten my seatbelt.

Then you have the smug-cunt voice on satnav telling me where to go, and when I do get to a customer site they’ve always got a TV/radio blaring in the background.

Cut a very long story short, but even out here in the rural sticks of west Cumbria you still get noise – either noisy devices, noisy animals and/or noisy cunts (especially in coffee shops, Greggs and supermarkets)

Seems that people can’t live without loud irritating noise !

Nominated by: Technocunt