The Biggest Cunt Out Of All Of Them Is That Thumping Turd Who Thinks He’s So Good On the Piano… Cunt Face Penguin Jools Cunt Holland – Complete And Utter Cunt – As much talent as a dead rat.

Contrite Cunt – He should be eaten by Zulus! Useless Cunt.

Nominated by: Makumba

That little toad, Jools Holland, has got his usual array of horsemuck for his (filmed in November) Hootenanny…. Spice Girl, Mel C (there’s a coup!), tuneless Jocks, The Proclaimers, Lisa Stansfield (playing All Around The World for the umpteenth time!), Ray Davies (loved The Kinks. But he’s knackered now!) and Ruby Turner (there’s a fucking surprise!).

In other words, no big names whatsoever… Must be thankful, mind you… At least that atonal mockney bint, Lily Allen isn’t on it… Her cunt of a dad probably will be though…

Nominated by: Norman