Rumours abound that W12 could be with us next year even though W11 is still relatively new in the public domain having only been available since late 2021. And even now W11 is still slow taking off, not least because of its fussy hardware requirements.

W12 is supposed to be very “AI-heavy” (Artificial Intelligence), although Microsoft hasn’t gone into details as to what this actually means. And neither have they confirmed officially that there will even be a W12 rolled out any time soon.

However, it is known that they’ve been working closely with CPU manufacturers such as Intel and ARM, both of whom are producing the next generation of super 64-core and 128-core processors (a massive step up from the current quad and octa-cores) for the domestic market.

Inevitably this may mean that to upgrade to W12 you’re going to need fairly top-end hardware. Either that or having to shell out yet again for another laptop or PC just to be able to run the same programmes you’ve used on W10 and 11 but on the latest W12 platform.

Or you could just stick with what you’ve got and wait until it goes out of support (W10 – October 2025. W11 – October 2031). This is probably the best option because if you do consider upgrading your machine you’ll be facing the usual compatibility issues with apps that run perfectly fine on your current OS, but now won’t run on W12.

Microsoft are no different from Apple – always trying to squeeze every pound and every penny out of mug punters for operating systems that really don’t make much of a difference to ordinary people.

Techadvisor

Nominated by: Technocunt

Daily Express 

According to the Dudley Moore/Peter Cook film “Thirty Is A Dangerous Age, Cynthia”. I would suggest you double that if this “Happily married Texan” is typical of what is happening to the Eddie Izzard transbumder types.

Just look at this ugly 63 year old wanker above:

He claims his wife is happy with his choice of clothing. I wonder if the wife is a man called Sue?

I can only reply that many men develop strange habits in middle age, but my advice to the wife is to put the lid on quickly – it will stop the sugar getting everywhere, if nothing else.

Nominated by W.C. Boggs.

Hansard

It was only a matter of time before some pen pushing arsehole mentioned that prescription medication is free from 60 years old, but pension age is 67, currently.

So now the Cunt is toying with the idea of aligning free prescriptions with state pension age. What am I saying, toying? He’ll do it, sure as shit isn’t sugar.

Why wouldn’t he, he’s not going to have to deal with the fallout. The oldies have a vote, too.
Try and remember that, come the next GE, when you’re begging for our vote, so as to keep your snout in the trough.

Nominated by Jeezum Priest.

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/21559578/mummy-girlfriend-delivery-cool-bag-sleeps-in-bedroom/

Peruvian Perv who just Luvs his Mummy

Julio Cesar Bermejo. This sad tosser has been caught in bed with an 800 year old Peruvian Mummy (wait while the LGTBQ+-mob come up with the appropriate pronoun).

“At home, she’s in my room, she sleeps with me. I take care of her”

Julio is a rather confused lad and in need of pronoun assistance not least because the object of his/its affections is actually male. We do not speculate how Julio achieves satisfaction but it must involve a bucket load of KY Jelly. Taking a squint at the pervs boat race I get the distinct impression that he is well on the way to mummification himself. “There is no greater love than this” as the poet says. Keeps the object of his affections in a foil lined pizza delivery backpack so she can travel with. Touching but mistakes can be made.

“Ere wasiss you cunt. I ordered a Chicken Pharaoh fully loaded so where’s me extra toppings innit?”

Never having had the horn for desiccated people (no not even Twiggy in my day) so granted I may be missing out on something but Cleopatra? Nah. Tutankhamun?. Nah. Queen Hatshepsut? Nah. Not a twitch of me haemorrhoids. Possible explanation for archaeologists obsessively digging the desert sands though. Crawling up dank narrow tunnels inside Pyramids? Very Phallic Pharaoh.

Nominated by Sir Limply Stoke.

“Good afternoon.

This is IsAC’s social affairs, health and royal correspondent Ron Knee speaking. Today I’m joined by a very special guest, none other than the privacy-seeking Harry, Dork of Nutfux, who has deigned to inform us on mental health issues by speaking about his own traumatic experiences”.

“Nice to see ya Ron dude! Hey, take a toke on this man, it’s some real good shit. Chillax bro. Er say, how much is this gig paying?”.

“We’ll talk about that later. So you believe that by baring your soul about your mental health, you can be of service to the world? Please elaborate”.

“Well Ron baby, I had it bad growing up. Real bad. *inhales smoke deeply* I came from a broken home. Daddy wouldn’t buy me a bow-wow. He never hugged me, or let me cuddle his teddy bear. Mummy deserted me. All I have left of her is her special cream, which I rub on my little blue todger at night to remind me of her”.

“Dear me. So how did all this neglect actually affect your mental state?”.

“Well I was a mess dude. Can you imagine what it’s like for your own brother to get a bigger sausage than you? I took to bullying the hired help at my prep school, kicking my polo pony, shagging in a field behind a pub, killing ragheads in Affers, shit like that. In an effort to block it all out, I took to getting pissed in a big way. Then
I discovered coke and weed, and magic mushrooms. Man, those smokes really cleaned the windscreen of my mind. I can now see myself clearly for what I am; a victim”.

“Indeed. And I assume that your selfless wife has also helped you on your journey of self-discovery”.

“Oh man, that woman is remarkable; so concerned for others. She encouraged me to spread my wings, to flee the persecution of my family, and to isolate myself with her in California. She’s helped me to explore my inner self. She’s shown me all the things that are wrong with my head, how I’ve been abused and neglected by the world, and how by trashing my family, I can begin to heal”.

“Yes, and no doubt it was the delightful Meghan who also showed you how you could monetise your pain”.

“Well hey, a fella’s gotta turn a buck to survive. I got a Hollywood lifestyle and a high-maintenance wife to maintain. Say, speaking of which…”.

“Okay, here’s a quid; fifty pence for a cuppa tea, and fifty pence for your trouble. Now fuck off, you self-absorbed, arrogant, grifting little shit”.

“Jeez man, you really do need to chill out. Fuck, I’m outta here…”.

Express News link

Nominated by Ron Knee.