Moaning old cunts.

Are, well, Cunts!

Growing up, if a ball strayed into the wrong garden the house owner would threaten to stab it next time it fell in although no balls were ever stabbed, but old Jimmy over the fence got more and more beetroot coloured every time.

Now we have codgers moanning about the mere sound of people exercising/having a laugh instead of being out stabbing each other.

Now I have never and will never played Padel, or tennis in my life, Badminton is a real mans sport.

But old farts comparing a ball and bat to the somme, I just wish they lived near me so they could compare my summer bbq smoke and jungle music with a tribal feast which lasts 48 plus hours, and tell them they are next on the grill if they have anything to say about it.

Telegraph.

Nominated by : Cunt of the Isles

Some of you may remember a nomination of mine, published on February 14th this year. No, don’t worry, I’ve attached a link to it, because I’m lovely like that!

Raiders of the Private Pension Pots.

Anyway, I came across this.

London Loves Business.

For those of you who can’t be arsed a brief summary.

“The UK Treasury is reportedly preparing to formalise an agreement that would see Pension Funds commit a significant slice of their assets – up to 10% – into private markets, with 50% required to be channelled in UK investments.”

This comes with the warning that, if firms don’t comply, the Government may legislate to force the move.

Today, businesses. Tomorrow private savings accounts.

It’s well worth reading the entire article, btw.

Nominated by : Jeezum Priest

The geniuses who are in charge of building 1.5 million houses (because of course nobody’s been building any houses in this country for the last 20 years have they??!!!! 🤔) that have decided they are going to build the majority of them on flood plains.

None of them can see a flaw in this cunning plan of course. There’s a reason why no houses have been built on them before. The clue is in the name.

Over a decade ago, the Government (running out of other people’s money again), decided they couldn’t afford to pay the huge subsidies to insurance companies for offering cover to owners of property in the ” flood risk areas”. At that time the insurance companies threatened to withdraw cover because of this.

Well anyone who has ever tried to get a mortgage knows that no insurance = no mortgage.

By the way this government and previous governments do give subsidies to insurance companies to cover these houses which is one of the reasons that your premiums go up every year.
Why is it my responsibility to fix and pay for their fucking problems?
They don’t fix or pay for mine.

So how long then before about 75% of these properties become either:
1) unsaleable?
or
2) condemned?

They’ll only be like Barratt Homes/Persimmon
Contractors will cut corners to get them built in time and never come back to do any “snagging”. There’s bound to be all sorts of “surprises” for anyone who buys and moves into them.

As usual it’s yet another short term solution. That’s right. Kick the can down the road for the tax payer to pick up the bill in 20 years time.

Naaaah it’ll be fine 🤨🤨

As a wise man once said “This country is finished”

Telegraph.

The people of Fishlake are more likely experts on this than anyone in government past or present

Independent.

Nominated by : Harold

Cherri-Ann Austin-Saddington.
Should be cunted for the name alone.

This daft cow was a prison officer at HMP The Verne in Portland, who became infatuated with a prisoner.

It’s not all bad, the fellow in question was a rapist and had sexually assaulted a child, so a good role model to her three kids.

She had got pregnant by him and lucky for the baby had a miscarriage..

Prince charming got transferred to another prison and she visited him with a empty calpol syringe so she could inseminate herself with the sperm he had wrapped in clingfilm.. what geniuses.

It was discovered during a pat down which also found she had no knickers on..

Apparently her probation period was extended because she was suspected of having a relationship with two other prisoners.
What does it take to get sacked..

I’m presuming she won’t get prison time on the basis she is a woman with kids..
Time to end this daft experiment of women in male prisons. Or is that sexist..

LBC News Link

Nominated by: Barry zuckercunt

The cunt always has to blame someone else.

When his Gorton Globetrotters were beaten by Palace yesterday, did he shake hands with the Palace goalkeeper? Nah, he just kept making ‘handball’ gestures with a smacked arse look on his face.

As for the ‘handball’? Palace got a bit of luck. City have had plenty of dodgy decisions go their way over the last few years. On and off the pitch.

And, what about City’s star striker, Erling Haaland, bottling taking a penalty in the Cup Final? If a team has that attitude, then they don’t deserve to win.

But, we just know that Pep will moan and moan (and fucking moan) about this goalie handball till Kingdom Come. City were crap on the day, and young Henderson had the game of his life and that’s the end of it.

And, what’s with this Zelensky-esque black T-Shirt and keks bollocks? At the FA Cup Final? It’s a bloody disgrace. All the managerial greats wore a suit at Wembley. Sir Matt, Shanks, Nicholson, Mee, Revie, Paisley, Docherty, Wenger, Fergie. Can anyone see old City managerial greats Joe Mercer and Malcolm Allison not wearing their whistles at a cup final? Big Mal would have shot someone if they didn’t turn up in their suit.

It used to be part of the magic. The players getting measured for their Cup Final suits. Now, it’s twats like the City players sulkily shuffling off the coach in garish tracksuits and stupid looking headphones. These bastards have no respect and they have devalued the Cup. And modern (foreign) managers like Pep have aided this process.

The boring as fuck Tiki Taka False Nine Sweeper Keeper bollocks he has brought to the English game is bad enough. But pissing on the FA Cup is even worse.

talk sport

Nominated by Norman.