I guess we all want to live forever. The concept of dying only really appears on our radar once we reach into our late 60s, early 70s (through natural causes obviously).

Of course our lifestyle plays a big part in our longevity – if you eat junk food, drink booze, smoke and never get off your arse 24/7 then chances are you’ll croak it at a much earlier time of life. (although this isn’t always an exact science.)

However, when I see people in their 80s and 90s, suffering in most cases with physical and/or mental diseases, idling ones’s time in a care home with nothing tangible to do, it makes me think that living to a grand old age seems pretty pointless if all that’s going to happen is you gradually wasting away until the Grim Reaper (or Annaliese Dodds, whichever is the more frightening), tells you your time is up and the lights go out for good!

Doctors and nutritionists bang on about keeping to a healthy lifestyle for a longer life. But quite frankly the way things are with this country and the world at large, I take an opposing view – enjoy life, do/eat/drink what the fuck you want at a young-ish age and then hope for an early death!

Now that I’m in my late 50s I’ve enjoyed/accomplished many things, but I really don’t want to stick around into my 80s and 90s for the reasons mentioned above. More so if I get stacked up with cancers, aneurysms, blindness, Parkinson’s, Alzheimer’s  and a shedload of the diseases. Fuck that!

Time to enjoy life while I still can. And if that means drinking loads of booze or eating very agreeable takeaways then so be it.

You only have one life – enjoy it while you can.

Nominated by Technocunt.

Let’s throw the IsaC Horn Section a bone and declare emphatically that Lebanese born, former American porn star Mia Khalifa is a cunt.

Born in Lebanon and raised a Catholic, Mia Khalifa was able to realize her immigrant dreams of the good life in America when her parents immigrated to the USA and she became “...the most searched for star…” on Pornhub.

But as we all know fame has its consequences. And in the age of the world wide web an Arab girl shooting porn in a hijab might have some especially bad consequences.

Well they did and the immigrant girl turned porn star received all manner of rape, torture and murder threats from the followers of the Prophet.

Here’s none other than your own lovable old whore, Auntie Beeb reporting on and defending one of her nieces:

BBC News Link

But recently, Mia decided to insert herself into the recent violence in the Middle East and declared herself a supporter of the brave Palestinian Freedom Fighters. This alone qualifies her as a cunt. But expressing support for those who have threatened to do you harm earns her a place in the IsaC Hall of Shame.

But it gets stupider:

No longer a porn star but still working in the sex industry, her employer, Playboy promptly fired her for her support of the terrorists attacks against innocent civilians.

FoxNews

So this stupid cunt…offends the faithful and offends her employer thereby managing to offend both her supporters and detractors. That takes a truly special kind of stupid.

And the problem with stupid is…as the great American comic Ron White said is:

“You can’t fix stupid. There’s not a pill you can take; there’s not a class you can go to. Stupid is forever.”

Mia Khalifa is not only a cunt…she’s a really stupid cunt.

Nominated by: General Cuntster

There’s never been any amazement in it for me. It was bad enough as a kid but when adults pay to be duped by a bloke with a mullet or a swarthy gentleman on da streetz, it says something about our society. It’s all a bit infantile.

I like street magic the least. I’s just an attempt to make the trade of Paul Daniels hip and down with the kids. David Blaine pretending to levitate, Dynamo pretending to walk on water.
Who thinks this crap is real?
Who is even diverted for two seconds?
Even as a child it was boring load of cunt, as it was all sleight-of-hand. Pulling flowers or handkerchiefs out of your arse? Nah, I would rather sit and read books on astronomy. Far more interesting, because it’s fucking real (unless you’re one of these mongs who doesn’t believe in space)

My peers spent many hours cooing and clapping over the stunts performed by Blaine. That’s all they ae though, stunts. it was another example of the Emperor having no clothes. How is a man pretending to fly magical? Being trapped in a box suspended over London. Thrilling.

There’s only one magician who was worth watching, but he’s no longer on TV.
In truth thought he was a bit of a goody-two-shoes and his excitable pal was a lot more entertaining.

Of the two selective mutes I know of, he’s still got a lot more going for him than Greta.

YouTube

Much more entertaining – and grown-up – than David Blaine or Dynamo.

He and Paul Daniels worked because they met the British public’s expectations of the level magic shows should remain – children’s entertainment.
Now you get these blokes in their 30s who want to be American and think street magicians are cool. I bet they wear back-to-front baseball caps and only listen to American music and have visited America ten times but only New York or the West coast.

Fuck off you imbeciles. If you want to experience a genuine sense of wonder read a book or watch a documentary about the natural world.

Nominated by: Cuntamus Prime

A certain type of gentleman wears shorts.
Usually a fruity type of man in my opinion.
They will tell you that it’s a way of keeping cool.

It actually is a way of telling the world that you are a cunt.

The disabled exhibitionists are the ones that have lost part or all of a leg but still insist on wearing shorts.

What’s the fucking point?

Are you trying to get a bit of sun on your prosthesis?
Does wearing shorts cool down your false leg?

No, you cunts.
It’s all about showing off and wanting people to think that you are special.

Perhaps soldiers injured by land mines are special, but I don’t think that they are the ones showing off the results of their injuries.

It’s the fat, diabetic bastards who have lost half a leg to an excess of poor diet that need to wear shorts with their NHS ‘falsie’ on show.

Look at me!….. I’m different!

Got a withered arm?
Wear a sleeveless shirt!
That’s what these cunts do.

They try to elicit sympathy by showing how special they are.

Then there are the cunts with huge surgical scars on their chests that insist on taking off their shirts when the temperature gets to double figures.

Although a fictional character, I personally blame Long John Silver for this modern trend.
Always depicted with his wooden leg on show.
Covering it up with a nicely pressed pair of chinos was not for him.
The cunt.

Ace Murder Mystery

Nominated by: The Artful Cunter

(and their running dogs in the media) are cunts.

Here in the benighted colonies we have just had a ridiculous referendum about a so-called ‘voice’ for indigenous people to the federal government. As I type these words, the proposal has been voted down by all six states and by a majority of 60-40 in the national vote (in Australia, you have to get a double majority – both overall and in a majority of the states).

Predictably, the ruling class and their bought-and-paid-for shills in the media are claiming that this vote is down to the stupidity and racism of the average citizen. ‘Reconciliation is dead’ they wail. Fuck off, you wankers. Opposing a poorly-worded amendment to a technical document is in no way akin to racial prejudice. I note too that the main leaders of the No campaign – an indigenous senator from the Northern Territory and an ex-rugby league player who is also indigenous – have been subjected to thinly-veiled racism from the usual suspects.

I wonder how many of the twats accusing people of racism support the ‘protests’ in Sydney where shouts of ‘fuck the Jews’ and ‘gas the Jews’ were clearly heard…

abc.net

I note in passing that on the same day that Australians voted against this racial division, the New Zealanders have booted out the Labour Party of the Blairite bitch Ardern (unfortunately she didn’t get hers as she resigned a few months ago as she knew she was in for a serious beating).

More importantly, Ipswich are second in the Championship and eight points clear of third place.

Nominated by Emperor of East Anglia.