These things have annoyed me for fucking years. I went to Cheltenham for the day today and saw three of the fucking things, starting with the railway station there. A frowning life size cut-out of a policeman is positioned on the bridge over the track, to strike fear into the heart of any fare dodging cunt that sidles past it. The fact that there is a ticket barrier right behind it is an irrelevance.

The obvious message is – we can’t afford security, or, there aren’t enough police to go around. Even the dimmest of miscreants would not be inhibited by the presence of one of these things, surely. It looks even more stupid when you consider that people are now filling up carrier bags with stuff in supermarkets, and then just walking out without paying, with no challenge. Clearly they are not that bothered by actual police or security guards, so why would they give a scabby rats arse about a bit of cardboard?

Maybe if these cardboard things looked a bit more realistic, with a few poorly executed tattoos, a Greggs bag in one hand and were somewhat bulkier, the shoplifter or faredodger would think again?

It makes you think what other occupations could be replaced by a cardboard cut out, but in a lot of cases that would be an improvement.

Nominated by : Mary Hinge

Sort of seconded by Rt. Hon. Dioclese:

Seconded. Whilst trawling the sordid depths of the internet the other day, I came across an ad for a life size cardboard cutout of no less a musical legend than Liam fucking Gallagher.

While anyone in their right mind would want this is beyond me. The real thing is pretty horrible but on the plus side at least the cardboard cutout can’t sing.

Mind you, nor can the real Liam…

Peter Jackson’s adaptation of Tolkien’s ‘The Lord of the Rings’ is my all-time favourite film, and Lord knows, I’ve got a long list of greats that I love. To me, it’s the absolute epitome of the film makers’ art, a sweeping, epic fantasy brought to the screen with magnificent swagger and style by all concerned. In short, it’s a masterpiece.

Now you may love it like me, or be indifferent, or hate it. What you can’t do is deny that the trilogy has had enormous critical and popular acclaim, receiving a cartload of awards (inc. no less than seventeen Oscars) and netting a cool £3 billion to date at the box office.

I wish that this perfect creation had been left to stand alone, but it wasn’t to be. Seeing dollar signs revolving in front of their eyes, the Hollywood suits and bean counters turned Tolkien’s delightful children’s tale ‘The Hobbit’ (surely only a one picture deal) into a sprawling three picture mess. Then Amazon had to get in on the act with ‘LOTR; The Rings of Power’, which is by all accounts a woke abomination, and a betrayal of Tolkien’s legacy.

Just knock it on the head already will you? But no, there’s news of yet another attempt to squeeze a buck until it squeaks with a new two picture project entitled ‘LOTR; the Hunt for Gollum’. Apparently the 85 year old Ian McKellen will return as Gandalf, if he lives that long. Viggo Mortensen might even reprise his role as Aragorn ‘if it fits the story’ or something. Blimey guys, do you need the money that badly?

This looks to me like nothing more than a cynical attempt to cash in on the amazing loyalty of the huge ‘LOTR’ fanbase, and they should be very careful; just look at how badly Disney has pissed off the ‘Star Wars’ and ‘Indiana Jones’ fans.

Of course the new films might be good, but to me the venture’s got box office backfire written all over it. That won’t stop them though, so prepare for ‘LOTR; the Return of the Suits’, and watch them trash another legacy. Again.

Business insider

Nominated by Ron Knee.

This french cunt is on trial currently, accused of regularly drugging his wife, to the point of a coma, and enlisting/encouraging other men to rape and otherwise sexually abuse her.

He streamed this charming activity from a live, pay per view chatroom.

There was an attempt to hold this trial ” in camera “, allegedly to spare the blushes of Madame Pelicot, but she was having none of it, she wants the world to know what he is.
In addition, many other men are on trial for rape, and/or sexual abuse of this brave lady. I tip my hat to her, I truly do. I hope her husband and her attackers get what they deserve.

But what is getting my goat here, is that Pelicot is also on trial for the abduction, rape and murder of a 23 year old lass, and the abduction, rape and attempted murder of a 19 year old.

Its almost as if they are a footnote in this trial.

Without wishing to trivialise Mme. Pelicots’ ordeal, isn’t the murder of this of this lass more important?

Daily Fail.

Nominated by : Jeezum Priest

Additional supporting evidence provided by : CuntemAll

Currently in court for the rape of his unconscious wife (he drugged her to unconsciousness) innumerable times over the course of a decade. Also on trial, the 50 other men he invited along to do the same to her.

He got the idea from ANOTHER cunt who liked to render *his* wife unconscious, then invite men to party away on her. The abovementioned guest-participated in that one(or more) nights ; took a liking to the setup, then decided to host his own events with his own blacked-out wife as the centrepiece.

Also ; questionable images of the man’s own daughter have also been garnered from his phone, for good measure.

Reuters.

THE BBC (This corporate nomination really is becoming fucking tiresome)
… are, once again, utter fucking cunts.

This `report` is somehow a top news story (on the BBC news outlets) …

BBC News.

What, in the name of FUCK! has this got to do with anyone outside the desolate, god-forsaken shit-hole they call Afghanistan?

Why is this even news?

Why, in the name of Jehovah and/or Allah, are we being made aware of this?

What, exactly, do they want us to do about it?

🧨 Spoiler Alert.
Yes, it’s a human tragedy: But this is what happens when you spend all your hard-given money (from your Saudi & Pakistani mates) on guns and ammo instead of sustainable crops, traditional animal husbandry and the upkeep of the burka-clad spunk receptacles that pass for women over there.

Jesus fucking Christ.

Nominated by : Sam Beau

Jane’s Addiction are cunts.

Well, they always were shit, But they are also soft girly bastards too.

Jane’s Addiction have apologised after they cancelled an upcoming show following an on-stage brawl in Boston. Well, they say ‘brawl’. But it was only a punch being thrown.

On Friday night, the American band cut short their gig after frontman Perry Farrell threw a punch at guitarist David Navarro.

“We want to extend a heartfelt apology to our fans for the events that unfolded last night,” the band wrote on Instagram on Saturday.

Heartfelt apology? What a load of softarsed fairy shite. The likes of The Kinks and The Who had onstage dust ups all the time. Not to mention the Stranglers. And even U2 were known for their early career onstage brawls at their own gigs.

I know social media has made people soft, but this is ridiculous. Whatever happened to Rock ‘N’ Roll?

BBC News.

Nominated by : Norman