I’d like to cunt friends. No, not the shitcom american tv show (that’s here https://is-a-cunt.com/2010/04/friends/ but needs much more cunting) – I mean all my friends and the idea of friendship in general.

If you have an affinity for a skill or sport, count on your friends to suck away all your precious time. When your opportunity has gone, so will they.

If your friends have emotional problems, lo and behold, here they fucking come.
If your friends have financial problems, lo and behold, here they fucking come again.

If you’re dumb enough to step in and help with a friends’ life problem, life threatening boredom and thanklessness will ensue.
If your missis is hot all your mates will be disrespectful wankers.
Fucking god help you if one of your mates is getting divorced.

When I was younger I had plenty of friends. Of course, being young means that most of your friends will by default be arseholes anyway what with their fractuous squabbling, need to borrow shit and tendency to let you down all the time.
It has taken me decades to peel these timewasters off. It’s been difficult. It would seem the better you do for yourself and the busier you get the stronger their vampiric grip becomes.

Fortunately having kids helps. I think the first child strips away about 50% of them. Despite diminishing returns, by the third or fourth one you’re well on your way to the utopia of fucking-none-at-all.

I think that people who need friends are obviously unable to cope on their own, and so seek a symbiotic link in order to bypass nature’s survival of the fittest filter.
People also seem to need friends so that they can enrich their lives through them. Just like the fungus ophiocordyceps unilateralis.
The requirement of friends is an outward manifestation of neediness, weakness, and selfishness.

Consider the peculiar phenomenon of people trying relentlessly to be your friend with no stimulus or response from you whatsoever.
Consider the artificial gathering of friends that goes on in soshul meeja.
Consider the inability of the majority to do anything at all by themselves.
Friends and friendship are utter, utter cunts.

Nominated by Cuntflap.

DJ’s.

Not your Smashy and Nicey types, these cunts that become superstar DJ’s. I’ve just seen one on the One show and there is the latest cunt being feted like a minor deity by the One show idiots. He’s giving it all the self deprecating bit but with a big smirk on like he’s just split the atom.

You play records mate. Other peoples records. I was doing that when I was 12.

You can take your ‘decks’ and stick them right up your fucking arse.

Nominated by Mecha Rigsby.

Pearly King’s and Queens are cunts.

‘Doing the Lambeth walk’ Fuck off you cunts,
‘My old man said follow the van’ yeah follow the van off the cliffs of Dover and do us a favour and return the pearls to the sea.

The cunts.

Nominated by Black and White Cunt

The latest banning by F1 bosses leads me to think we are really heading in the wrong direction. First it was darts, then boxing and now F1 It may not be important to some, but I for one actually fucking like to look at pretty woman, unashamedly so. I was born this way, can’t help it and I refuse to grovel and apologise for just being a man.

SkyNews have a poll on their website, 16% for the ban and 84% against the ban. But they will still ban it won’t they ? All because some bra-less hairy femanazi’s think it’s demeaning. Personally I think it’s just more minority appeasing/virtue signalling bollocks. I hate where we are heading with this – can’t do this – can’t do that bullshit. These girls do have a choice, take the money or fuck off and go earn a living another way. Just like I do everyday, take a job on if I like the deal or fuck it off if I don’t like the deal. Simple.

What happened to ‘Keep calmn and carry on’. It’s now all ‘Get hysterical and and send in the fun police’. For fucks sake is this the start of the Islamification of our society. Some say they are savages with a centuries old ideology, but it seems we are now aspiring to their levels of zero tolerance, perhaps they are centuries ahead of us because they have been behaving this way for hundreds of years.

People are losing their jobs because they touched a colleague on the knee, or made a pass at them, They call it unwanted sexual advances. Well how the fuck are you supposed to know if it’s wanted or unwanted until you try it on ? Some of you may have been to one of those Argintinean grills where you have a red/green place mat. Red side up means no more meat, green side up means more meat please. That way the waiter doesn’t have to keep asking you. Our woman could do the same to save us from being confused. At the moment they all look like empty plates to us.

Maybe in years to come girls around the world will be gagging for cock simply because men will be to afraid to even think of making the first move.

Nominated by Cunt Vader

The LBC Washington Correspondent Simon Marks is a Uranium enriched biased cunt that is massively overdue a cunting.

During the American election campaign this totally unbiased liberal piece of shit would report in on daily basis to the O’Shithead show for a spot of self congratulatory denegration of Trump and his campaign, he’d often find himself speechless at the latest Trump rant commenting ‘well if Trump felt he’d not alienated enough voters he certainly has now’.

Marks would go on….. the safe money is on Clinton, Trump is a liability who’s insulted his way through the Primaries but there’s not a single commentator that believes he could ever win the Presidency….

Oh dear….. looks like you’re wrong Simon. So what’s a cunt like Simon do next? Well in an attempt to prove himself right he spends the next year filing completely biased reports to a biased audience that will give them air time, bring on o’Shithead.

A cursory glance of this cunts website confirms my suspicion that the last thing in the world the cunt is is objective.

That said Simon gives a good account of himself, clearly his resume is written by himself and as such he pays no attention to his achievements, such as being President and Chief Correspondent for. FSN the ‘worlds leading independent broadcast news agency’ which is owned and operated by….. Simon Marks. Fuck me you couldn’t make it up.

Nominated by Cunty McCuntface.