We learn again that this overbloated, dysfunctional sector is complicit in sex crimes, bullying and general abuse. And it is all covered up Vatican style.

So what? You might say. To quote a revered cunter ‘fuck them’. I never give. Trouble is we do. All of us, except perhaps Branson, Lineker, Barlow and other assorted tax dodgers.
This overstaffed, overpaid, Londonistancentric bunch of parasites get huge bungs of tax Wonga.
‘Save the Children and keep me a pretty one’ should be the full title for one of them.
So. Dig deep and give until it hurts. You know you will feel better. Not that you have a choice.
Cunts.

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble

It’s about time seagulls were cunted again. These beady-eyed bastards have been causing havoc around Britain for years and they must be stopped. In the 20 years that I’ve been alive, these winged monsters have grown in size and have become increasingly aggressive. They’ve become so confident that they might as well be considered a part of society. They don’t flinch if you move towards them and they have no problem in pinching your grub from under your nose.

The government had previously promised to cull a number of these cunts, however, this must have been all talk as they’re everywhere; and if you don’t see them you can bloody well hear them making a fucking racket. The seagulls in other countries are normal size but the ones here in Britain are fucking obese – just like the people – from all the crap they chow down on.

These aggressive bastards have also been known to attack people and animals. Pensioners have been dive-bombed and unsuspecting pets have been picked up and dropped from a great height. Seagulls are on par with all the ‘minorities’ in this country – they have too many rights and privileges.

This fat bastard of a seagull has taken up asylum on my property. He nicks my cats’ food from right in front of them and he even had the nerve to bolt down my bacon sandwich which I had left unattended for no more than 10 seconds. Like shit off a shovel he was. He buggered off for a while but this massive boss of a seagull has now returned and brought all his chums with him; making a load of noise, looting my food supply, pillaging and shitting everywhere. This cunt is the size of a small dog and it’s beyond ridiculous. Like many other seagulls, he is about five times the size he should be. The sooner this cunt and his crew are gone, the better. Seagulls are cunts of the highest degree and must be stopped.

Nominated by Jayniño

WHAT ? It’s soap – you can’t cunt soap for Fuck’s sake. It lathers up reasonably well, cleans all your dangly bits, cludge, pits, mush… Hell, I wash my hair with it ’cause I’m way too tight to buy fancy shampoo.

No, it’s the shape of the fucking thing. Imperial Leather is a harsh unyielding rectangle with vicious corners – not smooth and rounded or tactile in any way. Corners that dig into your vulnerable bits until eventually worn smooth* by manual lathering (*the corners, not your vulnerable bits)

And as for those sharpened edges all round – Fuck Me – Drop the bastard in the shower and if the fucking corner doesn’t get you, those brutally chiselled edges will attempt to liberate your toes from your feet like a blunt soap axe.

I’d swap to Dove but it whangs like a tart’s boudoir…

Nominated by Cunt Reviled

Lloyds Bank Adverts ‘We’re here for you’ the inspirational music…is it Fatboy Slim? The majestic horse galloping over the beach..then it cuts to the funeral of a fallen soldier…’We’re here for you’ Lloyds Bank-where the money is stored, the deals are done.

Nominated by Miles Plastic