Oh joy. This morning I received the dreaded ‘invitation’ to accompany the trouble an’ strife to the local shopping mall, to ‘get some ideas for Christmas’.

Now as if this wasn’t bad enough, the whole experience was torture from start to finish as a result of the cunting awfulness that is piped musak.

Now we all know why THEY do it. It’s carefully programmed, designed to affect us subliminally, to make us more docile and sheeplike, and therefore motivated to shop and spend more. Trouble is that it has the opposite effect where I’m concerned. It drives me up the wall, and I just want to get out asap.

My trial began the second we walked through the main entrance. There’s some bird screeching some tripe in a key that she couldn’t handle. Turn into any ‘retail unit’ and you switch from the racket in the mall to their racket. The ‘Condor’ moment occurs when you reach the spot where the blare from inside the store and that from the mall outside blend into one cacophonous snash. Throw in noise from kids’ roundabouts, mall displays and (oh lordy, it’s that time again) carol singers or the Sally Ann band, and it becomes sheer aural torment.

After an hour or so, I did the only thing commensurate with keeping my temper, and fucked off in search of a pint. BUT. Guess what assailed me as I entered the nearest pub… You can’t even get a quiet pint and a read of the paper in peace these days, and it’s a cunt. And that’s the bleeding trouble with this shit. It’s everywhere; restaurants, bars, hotel lobbies, cinemas, lifts, hospitals, aeroplanes, workplaces, even some public gardens I’ve visited.

I don’t know, but I’d guess that the cunts who first came up with this pestilence were Yanks. It’s the kind of cuntery they seem to excel at in these situations. I hope that Old Nick has entombed them fifty miles beneath the Earth’s core in a sealed cave, where they’re forced to submit to their own fiendish construct while their arses are roasted. For ever. And ever. The absolute cunts.

Nominated by Ron Knee

And please forgive the shameless plug, but if you really hate Christmas songs, here’s a link to a whole fetid mess of them mercilessly butchered by my good self!

Give it a click – I need the money!

Nominated by Chas C

I’d like to nominate bus driver’s son (not that he ever mentions that) and our very own Mayor of Londonistab for his weekly cunting.

This week: the re-emergence of “Stop and Search” but in it’s new guise of “Stop and Search Lite”.

Basically plod can “Stop and Search” again providing they have a very good reason to do so, and, so long as they’re wearing a body cam to record the process.

The cameras I’m all on board with so that when the yardie boys get all “gangsta wiv Five-Oh in’it bruv” it’s recorded for all to see. There will be far more incidents of this (as there always was in the commoonitteeee) than incidents of police brutality (as every case of stop and search was falsely reported as from da’ commoonitteeee).

My problem is: define “very good reason”?

Luckily there was an “Abbott Lite” type on the AL-BEEB to assist with this: “Well if they like smell a bit of contraband or summink, in’it, well that wouldn’t be grahhhhnds to stop and search like. In’it.” – seriously that was exactly how eloquently it was put.

Other salient instances were: “Jast’angin’ wiv their mates, in’it” and basically any other form of shifty behaviour that plod used to be good at identifying before being emasculated by the PC and right-on governing bodies.

So basically “Stop and Search” is back but if you “Stop and Search” anyone from the demographic most likely to be a stabbie bastard then it’s off to the Police Complaints Commission for you matey, with plenty of tribunals and re-education courses to follow….

Knowing this, how many people think that “Stop and Search Lite” will reduce incidents of stabbings in the stab capital of the west???

Answers on a postcard to:

WHY DON’T YOU JUST RESIGN SADIQ!
USELESS CUNT!
P.O. BOX CUNT!

Nominated by Rebel without a Cunt!

Another day another self indulgent PR exercise from the ageing ex pop tart, who for purposes of this stunt regards her 16 year old son as a *child*:

Granted this appears in George Osborne’s shitty comic, but how much longer is that dreary miserable tart going to ponce off the name of her dickhead husband, who himself has been over the hills for years. A pair of shagged out old has-beens now using their ugly kids to satisfy their lust for publicity.

Nominated by W. C. Boggs

This professional snowflake is a cunt in many ways… A typical luvvie leftie cunt who is a remainer twat who lectures us working class riff-raff and who loves migrants… She won’t live with them though, naturally…

And now this libfuck trollop is starring in a ‘drama’ about a mother with a transgender kid… Of course Friel thinks such evil and warped shite is to be applauded and encouraged… Sex changes for children should be 100% illegal… A young child’s mind and body is undeveloped and growing every day of their lives, and they can’t possibly know what the fuck they want to be at that age….

But this luvvie libfuck slag believes that experiments worthy of Mengele are perfectly acceptable…. A cunt if ever there was one… Friel is also an overrated cunt too… All this ‘great actress’ shit that was bandied about in the 90s?

OK, what are her great works? What has she been in? Well, there’s Brookside, and there’s that piss poor Prime Suspect rip-off, and errr there’s lezzin it up Brookside…. What a load of bollocks… Immensely overrated in the looks department too… I recall her being seen as some sort of top totty in the 90s… What a load of crap… She wasn’t even the hottest bird in Brookie… That accolade went to the far fitter and talented Amanda Burton…

No doubt about it, Anna Friel is a proper cunt…

Nominated by Norman

Not content with making all children part of some PC army, whinging the rest of us to death if we don’t respect everyone else’s rights more than our own, the anti-free speech brigade are now banning fairy tales, particularly Disney films from their children’s lives. Unless they are lecturing them on the bad old days and how they have it so much better now, that is. Forget the Grimm brothers dark twisted tales, apparently snow white was sexually assaulted in her sleep by a rich white cis gender person who got away with it, Cinderella was a money grabbing whore who would have done much better without men in her life and Arial was some sort of domestic abuse victim that had to sacrifice her talents to be with the man she loved.

Worse than the celebrities who will cough up hairballs on the subject whenever some gullible cunt with a microphone comes near them are the nobodies who have recently completed their degrees on how to suck the fun out of all life specialising on how to use all media and history to support their man hating agenda.

The end of life in the west is only a couple of generations away. If you want to get off with someone of the opposite sex you’ll have to wear a badge apologising for it.

Nominated by Quirk