Joanne Rust deserves a nomination. Now I know what you’re thinking. Well, it turns out that Joanne Rust is the ignorant dipshit who broke the quarantine rules in Spain, by taking a swim in the hotel pool and getting arrested for it. I was going to write this one off as just another entitled twat who thinks that rules are for other people. Except I recently found out that Rust isn’t just another lowly member of the proletariat. No, it turns out that Rust is a Labour councillor, a Unison member and a three time Parliamentary candidate (lost all three times).

As a public figure, albeit a minor one, Rust should not only fucking know better, she should be setting an example to others by being seen to be following strict rules that were put in place to help slow the infection rate of a DEADLY FUCKING WORLDWIDE VIRUS!! But no, being a Labour slug, her attitude is that she can do whatever the fuck she wants. Well, as the Spanish police taught her, she can’t. Joanne Rust, you are a cunt.

Oh yeah, a cunting for the fucking brain donor who rocked up in Spain a couple of days ago, for a ‘sunshine holiday’, despite knowing that Spain was already on lockdown. During a pandemic? Bitch, have a word with yourself.

Nominated by Quick Draw McGraw

I nominate Joanne Rust for a red flag waving, champagne Socialist cunting.

This detestable piece of wank rag was recently identified as the cunt who flouted the Spanish hotel and authorities by ignoring advice to use the swimming pool in Tenerife. She apparently was protesting because boo hoo she didn’t get a fucking free upgrade to her room.

I hope the Spanish fuck her over royally and send her to jail on top of a heavy fine and is thrown out of Labour Party.
I have met this Harridan a Couple of times and can honestly say hand on heart she is THE most loathsome putrid piece of self serving shit I have had the non pleasure to meet.

Coronavirus if you are listening please fill your boots and give her your strongest dose.

Nominated by Once a cunt always a cunt

Older cunters may recall that this meme, based on the cheery keepcalmandcarryonitude of lovable Cockernees under sustained air bombardment by the Luftwaffe, persisted for some time after WW2, and indeed until rationing came to an end in the 50’s. During rationing, incidentally, the UK population’s nutritional status was never better.

In fact, the Blitz spirit consisted of the realisation that between a government with emergency powers and high explosive falling on you all night there was really fuck-all you could do about anything, and the only sensible alternative to carrying on – calmly or not – was cutting your throat. The number of suicides actually declined during the Blitz. Sense prevailed.

The same realisation is now seeping through the population as it faces the prospect of a slightly lethal infection and a light cull of the elderly and infirm. The number of deaths is predicted to be rather less than the number of civilians killed during the Blitz, but the economic impact (insert rant on the subject of globalised supply chains, crooked finance houses, stock market gamblers etc, etc) is probably going to be comparable, lacking the post-WW2 will to rebuild productive capacity and do something more useful than sell each other coffee.

However, the Blitz Spirit, as invoked by the tabloids, and implied by Johnson doing his daily Churchill parody, ain’t going to happen. Our diverse, woke and increasingly criminal population has long forgotten the concepts of deferred gratification and stoic endurance in the face of having your street blown apart and having to eat whalemeat…and not much of that.

What prompted this nom was a dirty contractor’s van outside. In the mud on the back was inscribed:

“No toilet rolls in here”

Which absolutely says it all.

Nominated by Komodo

‘Holy crap….what was that!?…I’m freaking out right now…holy shit…did you hear that?…dude…dude, are you alright?…I’m trying to get my head around this right now…

I actually believe in ghosts. Or rather the Supernatural. So, to my mind, they are playing with fire. I better say it’s Mrs P who likes to watch them.Yes, playing with fire, because I do hear things on them that are disconcerting. You know, cunters, the possession of the boy (changed to girl for the film) that ‘The Exorcist’ was based on came from him playing the Ouija board with a Spiritualist aunt. So I firmly believe in demonic possession. So playing, fucking about with the supernatural is dangerous.

Back to our modern day Ghost Hunters. There they are, with their magnetic field readings and digital cameras – the snowflakiest of snowflakes out for a thrill. They’re ‘researching’, you see. It’s pitiful really. They’re so jumpy…even the slightest sound and they’re off running. And when its all over, the ‘what have we learned?’. ‘We’ve faced our fear and I’m proud of that’. The evidence? A tiny spot of light or ‘orb’, as they called it. Grainy footage of some slight movement at the end of a corridor. Bullshit really. But there was that noise me and Mrs P pricked our ears up at. Yes, what was that? Mrs P has gone to sleep now and I’m ok writing this, but I often feel funny when I have watched one of them. Funny coincidences in my mind. Not moving objects or anything, just strange things in my mind.

I feel unnerved. As though a spirit has come through the television set and is affecting me.

Nominated by Miles Plastic

Over the course of its existence, the EU has established a reputation for outstanding achievement in one area of activity. The plutocrats of Brussels, aided by an army of petty bureaucrats, have successfully created mountains of regulations and mile upon mile of red tape.

Unfortunately, the EU’s reputation for crisis management is lower than a snake’s belly. The bloc currently faces two huge emergencies. Firstly, there’s the ongoing migrant crisis, focused at the moment on the border between vassal member state Greece and an increasingly belligerent Turkey. Then there’s the existential threat posed by Coronavirus; in addition to the massive toll of human misery, the epidemic is likely to flush an economic shitstorm down the pipe.

Now I humbly ask, where is the EU amid this mess? It gives every appearance of behaving like a sloth on Mogadon, wallowing in inertia as a creeping paralysis sets in. Okay, maybe I’m wrong. Maybe the EU elite isn’t hunkered down in the Brussels fuhrer bunker, quaffing champagne and oysters, while the continent writhes in torment. Perhaps, even as I write, a massive EU contingency plan is set to unfold, bringing aid to the beleaguered nations of the Union. The trouble, however, is that the EU gives every IMPRESSION of dither, procrastination and delay, and appearances count for much. The plutocrats appear to be sitting with their fingers up their arses when the situation cries out for determined, decisive leadership, together with the implementation of practical measures designed to mitigate against the worst excesses of the situation. The EU needs to be seen to be walking the walk.

As an adjunct , I reckon that it’s a fair bet that this hidebound monstrosity will try to use the crisis as a pretext to push for an extension to the period of post-Brexit trade negotiations. Naturally, they’ll consider themselves entitled to continue plundering our fishing waters and our coffers for the duration of the extension.

Well I’d say that more and more people in the UK are coming to see the EU for the racket that it is. If any good is to come from this mess as we come out the other side, it’s that many more people elsewhere, particularly in Italy, may start to question just what the EU is for. To paraphrase from ‘Monty Python’s Life of Brian’, ‘What has the EU done for us?’ It’s a very good question. ‘That’s the EU for you’, I’d reply. When the chips are down, it’s as much use as a one-legged man in an arse kicking contest.

Oh, and while we’re on the subject, I’d bet that Il Papa could find the odd billion or so down the back of his pew to help out…

Nominated by Ron Knee