This might be a bit previous, but I am nominating ITV’s ‘modern reimagining’ of the classic 70s series Van Der Valk. This won’t be on tv until tomorrow 26th April, but from what I’ve read in the tv guide, it contains all the obligatory stock characters of the modern detective series:

Main character, a loner
Female boss
Lesbian member of squad
Young buck detective (with an eye for the ladies)
Junior eager member of squad (effnick)
Hard drinking pathologist

This was last resurrected in 1990, seventeen years after the original ended. It should have ended there. The original is on Talking Pictures TV on Fridays at 9pm, I’ll stick with that.

Nominated by Mystic Maven

Utter me me me bullshit.

‘Coronavirus: Naomi Campbell and African artists entertain fans online
Supermodels like Naomi Campbell, along with many musicians and artists, have taken to live streaming to entertain their fans during the Covid-19 pandemic.’

Can anyone tell me, apart from assaulting her staff, what fucking talent this stupid woman has? And, colour apart, in what way is she African?
Another example of the utter vacuity of these cunts.

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble

DCI Gene Cunt

Chicken George

J peasmould gruntfutock

an extract from the very limited rule book to remind you all.

Trolling :

We have a zero tolerance policy on trolling. All trolls are cunts, so of you’re a troll then just fuck right off! Don’t bother trying to use proxies because we can back track them and you’re less likely to get your first comment approved.

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All the best Admin.  

Microsoft are the lowest of the low. Total cunts insofar as their terms of service. (TOS)
After 15+ years of being a customer Microsoft without rhyme or reason have locked my account. Words escape me to describe my feelings. I have no access to any service, e mail etc. And it seems unlikely that It will be restored by these gigantic cunts entrusted to run Bill Gates old company. It appears that I am not alone in the boat and that people with far more money invested have been left out on a limb by the algorithms entrusted to run a once great company.
Shame on you Microsoft.
Total bunch of CUNTS that you are. Big boys take out small man.
PS Do not swear on Skype, the cunts are watching that as well.

Nominated by Billy Cunter

Victoria Beckham is a miserly tight fisted cunt, in these Corona virus times the government have in an attempt to help businesses keep on their staff and also no go to the wall as money is tight before this rinky dinks infected us with yellow pox, anyway this has allowed this penny pinching nine iron lookalike slut to exploit the fact tnhat she can furlough 30 of her fashion company employees so she can claim 80 percent of their wage from the government, save the further 20 percent and all this with millions in the bank, so not only cant she sing, cant design cars, didnt design that Landrover monstrocity, and yet claimed she , looks like a waxwork dummy and probably has a snatch that looks like a butchers bin as well, she,s tighter that a ducks arse…..

Nominated by Fuglyucker