The Beeb’s radio soap ‘The Archers’ seems to have been around for as long as I have, although I’ve never listened to a single episode of the ‘everyday story of country folk’.

I can’t say the same for a very old friend (I’ll call her Ann) who’s been a devoted follower of things down Ambridge way for donkey’s; that is until recently. When we met for coffee yesterday, she was raging at the show, declaring that she’s finished with it. So what’s pissed her off?

Well it turns out that a storyline has a long-standing character in the show, a b and b owner named Lynda Snell, fasting for Ramadan in support of her Muslim neighbours the Maliks. ‘I wouldn’t mind’ raged Ann, ‘but Lynda Snell is a domineering cow who’s all about herself, and imposing her outlook on others. She’d never be interested in a demonstration like this. It’s completely unrealistic as a story, daft in fact, and it’s really all about the BBC using yet another opportunity to ram its woke values down the listeners’ throats regardless’.

Now I can only go by what my friend says, but on the basis of this, it’s not hard to agree; it’s not as though Al-beebra’s not got form in this regard. Still, perhaps it’s not all bad. Perhaps this storyline’s paving the way for some gritty realism in the show in future, and we can await with excitement the honour killing in the Malik household, the revelation of a clandestine grooming gang operating out of The Bull, and a suicide attack on the milking shed.

Or…perhaps not. These plots just wouldn’t fit in with Al-beeb’s cringing, aching wokeness, would they?

yahoo news

Nominated by Ron Knee.

Think your nice?
Little goody two shoes?

Liar😁

Ever been cheered by the news of someone’s demise?
Not very nice eh?

Camilla Batmanghelidjh
Looked like a cross between Christopher Biggins and Ali Bongo?
I smirked when she snuffed it.

Despised the rag wearing big dollop of shite.

Smug faced Friends actor Matthew Perry,
My first thought was ‘ thank god for that.’

See? Wicked.

Magician Paul Daniels?
No more boring fuckin card tricks!

I whistled for a week at that one.

And I’ve realised I’m not the nicest of men,
Probably not going to heaven?

I feed wildlife
I’m kind to animals
Nice to kids
Nice to the elderly
Don’t cheat on my missus
All to my credit
But on the whole I’m a bit of a orrible cunt.
Oh well,
Which celebs deaths have cheered up other ISAC cunters?

google

Nominated by Miserable Northern Cunt.

In the US state of New Jersey the proud parents of new born babies are given the following form to complete –

“Which of the following best describes your baby? Lesbian or gay; straight or heterosexual; bisexual; self-describes (please specify); questioning/unsure.”

It’s hard to decide which is maddest about this questionnaire. Is it –

A. That a new born baby has sexual desires, let alone preferences.
B. That a parent would believe this.
C. That if the parent did believe this they could ascertain the baby’s sexual preferences without asking it.
D. That if the baby did have sexual preferences it would be able to communicate them.

Answers on a postcard please. The winner will receive a signed copy of Dr Spock’s Baby and Childcare.

Clearly woke isn’t dead yet.

New Jersey hospitals are behaving in a most degenerate fashion.

At best they’re in the full throes of psychosis, at worst they’re a sinister nest of pee-do-philes, demanding parents of newborn babies to identify their baby’s sexuality…

WTF!?

The “Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity Questionnaire” requires new parents to “identify” their babies as either “Male, Female, Transgender, Gender Q*eer, or Additional gender category.”

It further requires parents to select the word that best describes their infant: “Lesbian or gay, Straight or Heterosexual, Self-described, Questioning/Unsure.

nypost

post

A double penetration of such cuntishness was required here and provided by Shit-cake Baker and MMCM.

Who went for the brown and who for the pink? one can only guess. C.A.

I can imagine the panic the flunkies at buck house flew into when this idea was floated.

‘fuck me, this list HAS to keep EVERYONE happy guys…..this is going to be a major task. Then we have to brief the King on everyone on his list so he has a reasonable understanding as to who they are when quizzed. It HAS to include all ethnicities, religions, genders, and the commonwealth’

‘but, isn’t it the Kings list, not ours?’

‘fuck off…we can’t have him upsetting people by leaving certain ones out’

‘but shouldn’t it be a genuine list of the music he likes?’

‘don’t be fucking stupid……it’s a list to keep everyone happy, whether he likes them or not’

‘but that’s not an accurate reflection is it?’

‘no, but nowadays accuracy is less important than inclusiveness, so that’s how it’s going to be, OK?’

‘but, that’s bollocks’

‘yup’

Call me cynical, but when this list was released none of the content came as any surprise to me. The only person that should have been surprised was the King when he saw it and thought….who the fuck are half these, I’ve never heard of them.

bbcnews

Nominated by Chuff Chugger.

There are a few life skills that everyone should have.

Being able to swim.
You never know when you might need to.
Being able to drive a manual car.
Even if you don’t own one or have a daily need for one.

But perhaps the most basic and important life skill is being able to prepare food for yourself and your family.

The type of person that readily admits to not being able to cook or who is a self confessed bad cook is a cunt.

A coherent family is a thing of the past, with all children and most parents permanently glued to their mobile phones or watching some shit on the television.

Conversation is all but lost.
The daily ritual of gathering around the table to share a home prepared meal has now gone down the shitter.

Instead whole families go to cheap burger joints, sometimes several times a week to eat crap.
Many don’t even venture inside these places as that would be far too much bother.
So instead they use the drive-through and eat the rubbish that they have brought in their cars.

If they are going to eat at home then their food is delivered in cardboard boxes by an illegal immigrant on a moped.
They then sit on the settee, around the television to eat the stuff.

There will come a time when the family table becomes redundant and homes will be built without kitchens.

Mrs Cunter went to stay with her brother and his fat, lazy wife.
There was fuck all in their kitchen except sweets and crisps.
The fridge had nothing in except bars of chocolate.
Everything they wanted to eat was delivered, including coffee to drink.

For them it was not a question of not being able to cook, they just couldn’t be bothered.

We eat out a few times a week.
Nowhere that does fast food.
The rest of the time we buy fresh food and prepare it at home.

The last time I went to a fast food restaurant was in the UK when McDonald’s opened their take away on Kensington High Street.
That was back in the 70’s.
And it was shit.

I have lived where I am for decades and I have never had food delivered or even brought a ready meal from a supermarket.

That’s because cooking is easy.
There are millions of recipes on the Internet.
It’s fun to look up a new way of preparing something you fancy, sourcing the ingredients and cooking them.

You can get a lot of satisfaction from preparing and sharing food.

Can’t Cook?
So you can’t look after yourself or your family, you can’t follow a simple set of instructions which is a recipe, or perhaps you are just a lazy cunt?

bbcnews

Nominated by The Artful Cunter. Link by Jeezum Priest.