Are not only cuntish, but infuriating.

We have 8 public/religious Bank Holidays in the UK. Five are fixed, but three aren’t.

Christmas Day
Boxing Day
New Year’s Day.

Now, traditionally if one (or even two) of these dates fall on a weekend, the following Monday ( and Tuesday) become Bank Holidays, and have done for my entire life.

For some reason, this rag seems to think that Boxing Day in 2026 deserves a special mention.

Manchester evening news

Do they think we’re cretins? How the hell is this news, and even if I was oblivious, why do I need to be notified 16 months in advance?

Slow news day indeed!

Your favorite idiotic headline, please.
I cannot be the only person who finds this infuriating.

Nominated by Jeezum Preist.

With fuck all worth watching on the telly at Casa Cunter, I had a flick through some of the 4.000 or so channels available but never explored on my IPTV app.

I came across a programme called Marooned, hosted by a guy called Ed Stafford.

discoveryuk

Apparently there have been several series of this drivel, with Ed being put in inhospitable environments where he is expected to survive and even thrive for 10 days.

In this particular episode he was abandoned in the Gobi desert.
With nothing but the shorts that he was wearing and a camera so that he could film his adventure.

After 3 days of searching he came across a puddle of water which he eagerly stuck his head in and started to drink.

Call me sceptical if you want, but to find surface water in a searing desert is a little unlikely, and if you are going to drink it then the resulting bouts of the shits will dehydrate you and kill you even quicker than if you didn’t find water in the first place.

Amazingly he also found a tin can in the sand.
It had been opened with some precision and had no sharp edges.
It was completely undamaged, not even a dent, just a little dirty.
That, he explained, would be his cooking pot.

He found a few plants bearing fruit. Without knowing exactly what they were, he ate them anyway.
He dug up roots, mixed them with his berries, put them in his tin can with some of the water that he found and brewed himself some tea.

This gave him the energy to go and look under rocks for tiny lizards which he also ate.
He also smoked some rodents out of their burrows and ate them too.

I know who watches this rubbish.
People like me who are bored with nothing else to do.
But who would be stupid enough to believe that any production company would put a presenter in any danger at all?

At the end of Ed’s ordeal he was picked up by a car, so he wasn’t that far away from a road or, I suspect, the local Pizza Hut.

As I was pointing out these things to the lovely Mrs Cunter she accused me of being a ‘miserable bastard’ who spoils everything for everyone.

Yes, I suppose that’s true.

Nominated by The Artful Cunter.

are cunts.

Never in the field of human politics have so many been led by the so ignorant.

In days gone by, whatever one’s political views, you could have some respect for MPs and particularly for those in government. You had to display a degree of intelligence to be in Parliament, now it seems the opposite is required. My political views are generally well too the right but you should be able to respect contrasting opinions. Recently I listened, on YouTube, to Peter Shore, former Labour MP and cabinet member, who I used to think was mealy mouthed and wet, and Wedgewood-Benn, regarded as a complete nutter in his day. Both sounded and looked intelligent and could hold a reasoned argument. On the Conservative side there were people like Cecil Parkinson (shagger supreme nothing wrong with that) , Norman Tebbit , and John Major (who I disagreed with on Europe) all bright interesting, intelligent people. Compare and contrast with our present MPs , the national embarrassment that is David Lammy. Our Home Secretary Mrs. Balls, whose accent varies depending upon who she is speaking too (but strangely enough probably the most competent in Cabinet but that is not saying much) . The Deputy Prime Minister, a thick, lazy excuse for a woman whose sole purpose in life appears to be to stifle any ambition in people and to line her own pockets. On the Conservative side a complete collection of non-entities.

What has caused this? I suspect Social Media where every utterance is recorded for posterity. We all talk shit sometimes, particularly me but it was never recorded to be thrown back in our faces 20 years later. Wretched Telephone cameras to record our every action and them made available for public scrutiny. Hardly surprising that no-one of any sense wants to put their head above the parapet and stand for public office, but fuck me rigid what a bunch of cunts we have ended up with.

Nominated by Wanksock.

I’ve long been fascinated by the weird and wonderful vagaries that we humans can display when it comes to sexual activity and the pursuit of bodily pleasure. It’s led me to put the occasional posting on here under the heading ‘Bizarre Sex’.

Long time cunters may possibly recall the case of the Aussie couple who were found guilty in court for indulging in acts of bestiality with erm, a trout. Then there was the cunt from oop north who was done for trapping a seagull and then shoving his dick down its throat in a grotesque attempt at oral satisfaction. Or how about the ‘gentleman’ of a certain persuasion jailed for fucking his chickens, and the French ancient who was taken to hospital with an unexploded WWI shell stuck up his ringpiece?

Here’s another good ‘Bizarre Sex’ entry, from Russia this time. A young woman went to hospital complaining vaguely of anal pain and spasms. The onset of some rare and nasty disease, perhaps? Well no, not exactly; the cause, in fact, was easily found and remedied, it being a fucking monster of a cucumber which her boyfriend explained had got stuck up her jacksy during a bout of ‘extreme lovemaking’. As these things do. It could happen to anybody.

The one part of this mystery which remained unexplained to the doctors was why the end of the cucumber had been eaten, the couple having subsequently quit the hospital fast without providing any enlightenment on the matter. Let’s think now; how and why might this possibly have happened…?

Personally I remain puzzled as to what drives people to such extremes when it comes to pushing objects up their arses. A nice chunky butt plug I can definitely relate to, as this can really increase gratification. But huge things which could inflict some severe damage on the organ in question, and then prove very difficult to remove if stuck, are another kettle of fish altogether, and legends abound of anything from vacuum cleaner attachments to gerbils having been utilsed at one time or another. I even once heard of a supposed porn video where some slaphead oiled his head and shoved it up his girlfriends arse, but I reckon that this is probably an urban legend (unless cunters know differently).

But back to the monster cucumber. Talk about reckless stupidity;

Jesus H, the staff in A and E departments everywhere must see some real eye-openers during the course of the working week, the daft twats involved here being a case in point. It really does take all sorts, as the old saying goes, especially when a bit of bum fun’s being hankered after.

Daily Star

Nominated by Ron Knee

are fucking stupid cunts.

Drug raid séx toy compensation.

Suffolk police have paid compensation to a lady after raiding her property and discovering her stash of rubber dicks decide to have a spot of fun..

Then rummaged through her knicker drawer.

The point of the raid was drugs related but they didn’t find any and ended up forking out £3,500 to the humiliated lady instead.

Has “compo culture” gone mad or are the police so hard up for recruits they have started employing 12 year olds?

What a riddle.

bbcnews

Nominated by Unkle Terry.