I nominate- ‘selfless’ santa letters posted to Facebook by cunty parents

‘Santa, please give all my toys to someone less fortunate’. Fuck off you absolute cunt fuckers. What you are basically saying is your little darling is fucking perfect because you are a perfect fucking parent, when in fact you are an attention seeking cunt of the highest order, forcing your unfortunate off spring to write this shit in order to invite such sycophantic horseshit as, “you must be so proud of him hun’, and, “that brought a tear to my eye Hun”.

Well ‘hun’ I’d like to see the little bastards reaction when they get fuck all Christmas morning because their parents are Christmas Cunts.

Nominated by: Hobo

The cunt Ewan Mcgregor is at it again with a charity appeal. When I say at it again, his charity appeal from last year was being shown again earlier, obviously too busy to record a new one. The fucker’s net worth is 40 million, and he is asking me for money? ask your rich luvvy friends you cunt, I will never see 40 million if I lived 40 lifetimes fucker, put your own money in.

And as for the salvation army appeal for a christmas meal for a pensioner, and they want £19 for that? who the fuck is cooking it? gordon Ramsay? My whole xmas day provisions will cost less than £19 including the sufficient volumes of alchohol required to sleep through it

Nominated by: The oncoming fart

I would like to give the good old Office Christmas Party a sound cunting.

My work had it’s outing last Friday – I didn’t go. Today I have had to hear all about it. The usual weirdo cunt taking hundreds of photos uncomfortably close-up so he can post them on Facebook later. The usual grudge that has been brewing all year resulting in the cunts having a brawl when they’ve had sufficient booze. Manager cunts spying on everyone from the corner. The office slappers dangling their tits in front of any new male employee. Piss poor buffet food being picked up and put down at least four times before it gets eaten.

Today I learned also which cunt is now not speaking to that other cunt because of something they said or did on Friday night..what a monumental sack of boring festering old cunt!

Nominated by: Mary Hinge

This is the Dioclese 2016 Christmas song – one I’ve been hating for years – so fair game for a right cunting. Even Noddy Holder hates this fucking song but in fairness did add ‘…but it makes a bloody good pension fund!’

So here it is – ‘Merry Bloody Christmas Everybody’. The lyrics as cynical and bastardised as they could possible be, summing up not just that Christmas is a cunt but that fucking Christmas music is an even bigger cunt!

Nominated by: Dioclese