“Good afternoon. This is IsAC’s political correspondent Ron Knee reporting. Today I’m joined by Sir Peter Arseley MP, to discuss his recent comments regarding MPs’ pay”
“Actually it’s Bottomley, old son”
“Er, indeed. Now Sir Peter, you’ve gone on record about what you regard as the ‘desperately difficult’ financial problems facing MPs on their £82k a year salary, plus expenses of course. Given that you find it hard to see how they ‘manage’ on this, you’re calling for an increase to a salary of £100k. How can you possibly justify this at this time?”
“Well you know Mr Ankle, I regard being an MP as a tremendous honour, but it’s also a tremendously difficult and demanding job, requiring a unique set of skills. Such ‘general practitioners of politics’ must be properly remunerated”
“Really? What is this ‘unique skill set’ of which you speak?”
“Well for example, you have to employ people to do research and draft replies to moaning constituents. The pressure’s awful when you’ve got relatives constantly badgering you to find a sinecure for their idiot offspring. Then you’ve got to read boring reports and attend tiresome committees, turn up occasionally to speak in the House and vote the party line, give interviews and be available to go on Question Time at the drop of a hat…”
“…stuff your face in the subsidised bars and restaurants of the Commons, seek out lucrative directorships… tell me, is also having no previous experience of working life and a degree in PPE considered an advantage?”
“I say! Those remarks are uncalled for and I resent them!”
“Oh dear. Sir Peter, we live in hard times. The average salary in Britain is £32k. People are seeing their incomes squeezed by price increases to fuel and food, and rising taxation. I don’t think the working public, especially those in really stressful occupations like nurses, firefighters, paramedics and the armed forces, will take kindly to the supposed plight of MPs”
“It’s as I said, MPs play a uniquely important role in national life. Let’s face it, anybody can become a nurse or a squaddie, these jobs are ten a penny”
“Pardon? Are you seriously suggesting…”
“Er, sorry old chap, there’s my pager going off. Reminder that I’ve got a vital meeting soon with Sir Thursby Churlish, the Minister of Bureaucracy and Regulation; spot of afternoon tea with him and his good lady wife, the fragrant Araminta. Must dash”
“Thank you. I’m sure that IsAC followers will be totally convinced by the veracity of your argument. This is Ron Knee, for IsAC, returning you to the studio”
Link to story.
Nominated by: Ron Knee
And seconded by: CuntyMort
AHHH poor diddums, just a morning piss boiler for your enjoyment. £82,000 p.a plus expenses? Your having a laugh aren’t you? Fuck me, the most I ever earned was 30,000. Mrs CuntyMort and I managed just fine.
Sir Peter, If you are struggling may I make a suggestion? Try living within your means you avaricious cunt. Every fucker else has to do the same in the U.K
It’s about time the free loaders in the HofC did the job for the honour like they did years ago. Fucking politicians, boil my piss worse than watching the BBC
