SOS Silence Of Suicide

As a now very old cunt with me sleep rhythms totally fucked Yours Truly spends late pm and the early hours in a state of maudlin inebriation drinking through dwindling stocks of a very decent single malt laid down over the generations. “It’s a quarter to three and there’s no-one in the place but you and me…” You know the scene, reflections on a wasted life, a little blubb over me late lamented wife – thoughts on all the friends (not many and outlived them all), foes and marks who made me the cunt I am – then I think to myself “Fuck ‘em” and take another single malt.

TV advertising in the wee hours consists of funeral plans, gaming, dating and charities. Fuck ‘em. Latest is this creepy voiceover from the outfit above inviting punters to man phone lines and social media on a voluntary basis with the aim of talking cunts out of topping themselves (full training provided). Bugger that. As a veteran of this site “Failure to oblige” (you cunt Shatner) is the bane of life and the true challenge of this grossly over populated world.

For the Stattos out there the stats are educational. For every 25 attempts only 1 actually does the business (Yankland). At a rate of 130 successes per day the total cull could be 130 x 25 = 3250 Yanks per day. Result. Extrapolate that for the rest of the world on an annual basis and climate change is sorted.

https://sossilenceofsuicide.org

https://save.org/about-suicide/suicide-facts/

My proposition is the promotion of suicide. It is nature’s way. Support TOTY – Turn On and Top Yourself (full training provided). You know it makes sense.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

Oh dear, oh dear.
Fat fuck Ian ‘Bloater’ Blackford, aka ‘The Westminster Windsock’, has opened his gob again and let his belly rumble.

The SNP leader in the Commons is frothing at the mouth about guess what; yes, the damage that being in the Union is causing Scotland. You can write the script yourself; ‘Tory inequities…tax hike…blah…Covid failings…Brexit…burble…’. Not a word about the SNP’s own abysmal record in Scotland, naturally.

Funnily enough however, ‘Bloater’ does have a remedy for the ‘problem’, and you won’t need three guesses. Yes, the SNP wants yet more billions in ‘recovery’ funds, from the UK government it purports to despise.

The Chancellor should tell the cunt to take a running jump, because it doesn’t matter what you do, you can never appease the SNP. Dole out billions and ‘Bloater’ will trumpet about ‘the SNP standing up for Scotland’ from the rooftops. Then he’ll be back moaning again next week. So you might as well give them sod all and let them just whinge and bellyache, which they do constantly anyway.

Blackford and the SNP are about as welcome as a thrombosed haemorrhoid; truly a disease on the anus of the British body politic.

News Link.

Nominated by: Ron Knee

Woke ads need a cunting, this isn’t wayysist at all, but it’s really getting out of hand now, and what’s more they seem to be going with the ugly or gormless fuckers to boot.

Oil of Olay, have a talking coconut/gorilla, you looking skin is the least of her worries.
(Wasn’t this crap called Oil of Ulay at some point? Asking for a friend – NA)

Windows 11 have 3 gormless looking fuckers who look like rejects from the fresh Prince of bell air show, probably have a bag of origano in their pockets.
You get the idea it’s 90 percent of all ads, it’s like they bypass any talent so they can have someone coloured…. Marketing cunts

Nominated by: Fuglyucker

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And here’s another one regarding John Lewis’ latest Christmas wokefest. This time from MiddleEngland (and Ron Knee)

Fellow cunters I give you the John Lewis Christmas advert 2021 for consideration.

Yes you’ve guessed it. A black family (why expect different) and a white “alien”.

What does this tell you about the brand I wonder. A celebration of diversity where white people are the aliens. This in a country where 95% of the population is white.

I for one will not but from JLP ever again.

Helpful Link supplied by Ruff Tuff Creampuff

YouTube Link

Greedy Cunts.

A nomination for the above, if you please.

Went with my family to our local public house that does a smashing carvery, today. Got our food and sat down to eat.

What I couldn’t help notice was the amount of greedy, feckless cunts that piled food onto their plates that required the steady hand of a surgeon to stop it spilling off the plate, and, nearly all of the cunts didn’t eat half of it.

No generic identity for the greedy cunts, either. Not all of them were fat cunts, (the term ‘Eyes bigger than your belly’ certainly didn’t pertain to some of the fuckers), quite a few elderly and younger ones were at it, too. Shit-loads of waste.

Take what you want and eat what you take, you feckless fucking wastrels.

Nominated by: DCI Gene Cunt

That wankstain Beckham does like a pound note, doesn’t he…

News Link.

Not many rainbow laces in Doha – the gayness is illegal and can attract the death penalty. Women’s football? Gender segregation is the norm. And not much ‘taking the knee’ for the virtual slavery endured by migrant workers, most of them ‘people of colour.’

Still, can’t be cheap keeping that multitalentless skeleton and her revolting brood in the style to which they have become accustomed.

I sometimes feel my mind slipping into a bottomless pit of despair and hopelessness.

Nominated by: Conduit of Evil (Mike to his friends)