Football legend Bobby Robson once described Paul Gascoigne as ‘daft as a brush’. No doubt the former footy star has done a lot of daft things over the years, and his latest effort has left him looking like a bit of a wally.

On new Channel 4 shit show ‘Scared of the Dark’, hosted by entertainment giant Danny ‘The Geezer’ Dyer, Gazza told an anecdote which frankly, left me feeling a little bemused.

Gazza related how on a visit to Downing Street back in the day, he’d given Maggie Thatcher a hug. Okay, nothing earth shattering there, you might think. However he then went on to relate how the experience gave him a boner, and he had to retreat to the toilet ‘to whack one out’.

Now let’s be fair; Big Mags was a giant on the political scene in post-war Britain, but she was no Susan Boyle when it comes to getting cocks twitching. Well to each his own, I suppose, but then as for going on national tv and relating the incident, I’d have to say ‘bloody cringeworthy Gazza’.

So is he a bigger cunt for getting the horn for Mrs T, or for going on the goggle box to relate the story? Bit of both I’d say, bit of both.

Daily Fail

Nominated by Ron Knee.

It’s been a few months now since Ian ‘Bloater’ Blackford was ousted as SNP party leader at Westminster. Mercifully the Lard of the Isles has been pretty quiet since, presumably deciding to spend more time with the contents of his fridge.

Sadly, this was not to last. Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water, the Westminster Whale has resurfaced, blowing off spray in all directions.

He’s been gushing on about how ‘inspiring’ the former FM of Scotland Wee Jimmy Krankie is, rejecting calls that the SNP should suspend her after she was caught on camera looking and sounding shifty regarding the state of the party’s finances.

Then he started weakly bleating on about those finances in a BBC Scotland interview, denying that there were any problems or irregularities, and that everything was indeed ship-shape in the old accounts department.

Now about all these resignations Bloater; yours, Legohead and her dodgy looking husband, the party’s finance chief (claiming ‘lack of information’), the party’s auditors… About Peter Murrell’s arrest, the police raids on various properties, the seized documents and the camper van, this alleged missing cash…

If I was you Bloater, I’d keep my head down and my fat gob shut, and stop acting like the turd that won’t flush. Still, looking on the bright side, you’re fairly entertaining the paying public, and if you keep it up, I’ve every faith that in due course, you’ll end up on the IsAC Wall of Fame, a distinction that you truly deserve.

 Youtube

Express

Nominated by Ron Knee.

Mae Muller – Nul Points.

Mae Muller is the BBC pick to represent the UK in the upcoming Eurovision Song Contest. As well as being the usual talent free skid mark she is also a left-wing activist who tweeted that Boris Johnson should be denied a hospital bed when ill with the bat flu, racist Tories, nurses pay, free school meals and how she hates this country.

A bit awkward for Mae since Boris is probably the most popular man in Ukraine after Zenenskyy providing billions in humanitarian and military aid. She is also a Labour Party mouthpiece and Steptoe cheerleader which is odd since she is Jewish and her grandfather survived the holocaust to escape the Nazis and flee to the country she now hates. But who cares about Corbyn’s anti-Semitism, he loves refugees, inflation busting pay rises and cradle to grave socialism and has the magic money tree to prove it.

The BBC are tone deaf cunts, only they could pick some anti-British bint to represent the UK. You can imagine the hysteria if it was someone who supported Brexit or told parents to provide for their own fucking kids. I suspect she will go far in the music industry where actual talent comes secondary to having the correct right on opinions.

I have never watched this pile of shite so Mae, Self-Pity City and the rest of the Ukrainian flag waving bell ends are welcome to each other. Eurovision is supposed to be politically neutral, so that will be as partisan free as ..er …last year.

C’mon Vlad, nuke this ball ache, just a little one and do us all a favour.

Daily Fail

Nominated by Liberal Liquidator.

A rarebit cunting for the merry people of Llantwit Major, which we are told is a village on the south coast of Wales.

These people are fighting back against a “far right” group called Patriotic Alternative who we are told hold extreme beliefs as described in the following, “community building and activism group”, and campaigns about what it claims are “issues such as the demographic decline of native Britons in the United Kingdom, the environmental impact of mass immigration and the indoctrination and political bias taking place in British schools”.

Now nothing there seems far right does it? No debate is allowed on the taboo subject of mass immigration!! If immigration is discussed in the media it’s only because greedy cunts in business want cheap Labour and controlled immigration would fuck up their immoral business plans.

Sadly it’s a fact of life now that trying to open up a debate on any of the mainstream narratives makes you far right. Discourse is pivotal to democracy, we don’t have a democracy!

What really inspired this cunting though is buried in the article is a picture of the local vicar, if he’s not a direct descendant of Steptoe I’ll be amazed.

Of course the article was written by someone totally unbiased.

Bbc news

Nominated by Sixdog Vomit.

Along with cunts who leave their dogs shit on the path and verges, and mongs who think leaving a broken vacuum cleaner at the side of road, so the broken appliance fairy can remove it, here’s my top of the list, total twat who I’d like to slot.

For fucks sake!

itv news

Nominated by Jeezum Priest.