A nomination for fucking Think Tanks, in this particular case Autonomy.

These bright sparks have come up with a Universal Basic Income (yes, I know not a new idea) and appear to have been given a green light to ‘trial’ a £1600 per month with ‘no questions asked’ for a limited number of people.

The grand plan would be a to make it available to everyone regardless of circumstances, sounds great doesn’t it.
What will happen, well you can bet there with be a lot of people sitting on their arses because there will be no requirement to actually look for a job, there will be many people using the basic income to fund a nice little earner in the black economy and there will be a few people paying for the scam.

I know in Wales they doing something similar targeted at kids coming out of care, but will see how it pans out.

Finland gave it a go and then scrapped it, so why the fuck does anyone with any sense think it will work here.

Think Tanks are cunts, it’s fucking easy to come up with schemes to piss money up the wall, where are the think tanks who come up with stopping the boats, like blow the cunts out of the water, bound to work or why not cut benefits and watch the bone idle queuing outside the job centre.

Sky news

Nominated by Sick of it.

I was at the hospital for a going over last week; a fun morning in the urology department that was. Prior to seeing the big cheese, I went through a fluids intake chart I’d had to complete with one of the nurses, who advised me to drink caffeine free tea.

So I promptly bought a packet and brewed up, and what a flavourless, gutless apology for a cup of proper tea it was. No satisfaction whatsoever to be had from it. You might as well drink hot water with milk in it.

In a way it reminded me of wanking. It’ll do if there’s absolutely nothing else on offer, but it’s a pale shadow of the real thing.

It’s piss, that’s all there is to it. The rest of the packet has now taken up residence in the compost bin, its spiritual home. Best place for it.

Nominated by Ron Knee

 
A woe is me cunting please for this pile of human garbage. He gets sent to prison for manslaughter for five years in 2018 and when he gets out he complains that the curfew and the tag he has to wear is stopping him from partying with his mates.

He has apparently broken his bail conditions 13 times and due to some cock up at the home office he won a £18500 payout because he should have been let out from a deportation detention centre on bail .
Read the story and see if your piss boils as much as mine.

Daily Fail

Nominated by Piston Broke.

 
Cunters will be aware that it is incumbent upon Hollywood royalty to endow the little people with the benefit of their wisdom. So here’s sad old dear Jane Fonda, whose own carbon footprint matches that of a small country, flying from her multi-million dollar mansion in LA to Cannes to tell us that climate change is all the fault of racism and the patriarchy.

Yes of course it is dearie, it’s all down to us white men. Hanoi Jane says we should be arrested and jailed for our sins and fossil fuels will have to go. Interesting comments from someone who wouldn’t have a face if it wasn’t for the oil industry. Nor indeed a career if it wasn’t for nepotism and white men.

Well here’s an idea Barbarella. As the world is going to be engulfed in flames next Tuesday, I suggest you crawl back into your cryogenic pod before your visage melts. Frankly, Madame Tussaud would have made a better job of it.

NY post

Nominated by Geordie Twatt.

 
They are at it again – a group of asylum seeking spongers are unhappy with their free hotel accomodation, in Pimlico, in the Victoria area – SW1 of London. Apparently they have been moved from their en suites in Essex and now they are having to scrum down in pairs and they complain about the smell – surely they could seek their remedies in a bar of Lifebuoy, but even more staggering, they are unhappy with the speed of their broadband!:

Slow broadband, indeed – they had to co,municate with sitars and bongos where they come from.

Just imagine how things will be when Starmer is in charge!

Express

Nominated by W C Boggs.