Don’t get me wrong Devon and Cornwall are beautiful places but this is a cunting that’s been eating away at me for far too long now.

What is it with these ‘White’ bastards from London who infest the media and seem to think that regardless of how low the production value, stick Devon and Cornwall on it and it’s a winner, much the same as they used to say ‘stick a Labour red rose on a donkey in Yorkshire and they’ll vote it in’.

I thought ‘Cornwall with Caroline Quentin’ was a low point, it seemed to me she just wanted to brag about the fact she once lived there and knew it better than all of us Prols watching.

Then there’s that big fat fucking chef who’s on a march to diet then pile it all back on or maybe it’s the other way around and then make a program about whilst walking coastal paths – in Devon and Cornwall and laying on thick his West Country accent. He can fuck off,
fat cunt.

That said I don’t mind Rick Stein but it’s important to point out he’s not from Cornwall and is a descendent of the German Stein Brewery dynasty and his inheritance enabled him to indulge his passion to cook fish and chips in Padstow back in the early 70’s then charge more than the Light Brigade for the same shit 50 years on.

Then there’s Devon and Cornwall with Simon Reeve, Julia Bradbury, Miranda something or other, Micheal Portillo, Susan Calman (who the fuck is she) apparently a fat lesbo comedian and thats the funniest thing about her, because that’s the last thing the fat fuck is anyway to name just a few and of course you can be assured that at some point John Nettles will pop up narrating some shite voice over.

As I say I thought the low point was the Caroline Quentin gig but I didn’t bargain for ‘My Cornwall with Fern Britton’.

After watching 5 minutes of this utter shite it occurred to me that screwing a rusty nail into my temple very slowly would have been far less torturous.

It’s hard to describe how bad this shite was. But it sort of squared the circle for me.

There was a saving grace which was Fern posting pictures of herself in her 20’s and fuck me you would. Seriously. But alas the menopause and an inability to stop shoving cake into her gob has taken its toll.

Regardless Devon and in particular Cornwall is the poorest county in the U.K. I’d like to see Susan Calman or anyone of the above named cabal do a documentary on the Council Estates of Cornwall.

…..’this is Jethro, he’s from a place called St Buryan, Penzance to you and me, he’s not worked for the last 30 years but he calls himself a comedian, we on the other hand know better……..

Right. Got that off my chest.

Cornwall live

Nominated by CuntyMcCuntface.

 
King Charles has proven himself yet again to be an enemy to the people he is meant to represent.

The WEF King after struggling to kiss the bible at his coronation now decides to give honours to female Trudeau, Jacinda Ardern. Was more than happy to split her country into a two tier state of “Vax vs Unvax”, made mental healthcare for gender dysphoria illegal, legalizing abortion up to birth and many other of the tenants of the Church of Progression.

We will look at at Queen Elizabeth’s reign and miss her sorely, least she put the interest of the kingdom first, not the unelected fascists of Europe (looking at you Schwab and Soros)

Stuff.co.NZ

Nominated by West Cunt-ry.

 
It’s getting closer to that time of year again, when the sun shines on the fields of Worthy farm, awaiting the deluge of dickheads called Toby and Cressida who’ve paid £300 each to sit in a field listening to shite they can hear anywhere.

it must be Spastonbury!
…Glastonbury!

This year’s tossers include Fat Reg, Rick Astley, Lizzo, Lil Nas, Lewis Fat cunt Capsldi, dreary bint Lana del Rey (hwaah-hwaaah-hwaaah), Carly ‘Call me maybe’ Jepsen, Zoe Ball’s house husband and a range of other cunts.

I’m sure the BBC will send far too many cunts to cover this celebration of musical mediocrity just for a jolly up at the expense of pensioners and those struggling to keep lights on while they guffaw and bray over champers and lines of marching powder.

Fuck the climate, keep the generator for the chiller going!

I’m sure they’ve never seen so many white monied and gormless faces in one place.
‘Like, ohh my Goorrrd! I HACTUALLY saw the Arctic Monkeys fifteen years after their peak!’

Surely the greedy Eavises are treating it as a cunt test now?
£ 300 for Rick Astley and fat fucks Capaldi and Lizzo?
‘Let’s see just how many mugs we can catch this year, Emily!’
‘Doesn’t look like much of a Cost of living crisis for this bunch of suckers, does it daddy?’

It would cost three times that to pay me to go, not including lost earnings, petrol and the vast quantities of medicinal alcohol needed to put up with the insufferable chuntering of the clueless , mouth-breathing media graduate fucktards surrounding me making vlogs and being seen.
Suddenly, one of the brighter ones has an epiphany;
‘yaah, why can’t we just, like, get rid of like all the weapons?’
You’d be the first in the bin, Tristan.

Shut it down and lock the gate so the pig doesn’t get out.

Glastonbury

Nominated by Cuntamus Prime.

Hope you cunters will forgive me? I was going to use a picture of some bearded hippies in the mud, but on reflection much preferred the one I eventually chose. C.A.

A little bit more on this subject from Jezzum Preist below.

A warning is out for all the Clarisas and Juliens.

No wellies needed this year.
But do drink plenty of water, heaven forbid that any of you pretentious, overpriveliged, under educated chimps should get dehydrated, resulting in you becoming even more brain dead than you already are.

I wonder how many times the emergency services are going to have to attend this year’s yahyah fest?

While your Gran lies on a cold floor with a broken hip.

 
Oh, God, What now?

Well, she’s somehow managed to get another of her dogs killed.

There’s been a petition doing the rounds to have her banned from keeping pets, and as this is the fifth dog in her care ( that we know of) to die, I fully endorse it.

Don’t know about the rest of you but, if I’d been so careless, I certainly wouldn’t be bleating about it on social media. Seems her animal care skills are as slack as her fanny.

Claims the dog was deliberately run over ( what was it doing wandering about?) and she’s “investigating”.
Fuck me!

Daily Mirror

Nominated by Jeezum Priest.

 
I’d like to make a nom for yampy brain dead fuckwits who can’t drive,was out driving ,keeping myself to myself as always,when some prick drove past shouting shit ,dumb fucks like this are the kind who could cause a crash and what they did was downright stupid and dangerous to anyone on the road.

It takes in my opinion intelligence to drive well and clearly their actions displayed they had none ,if it wasn’t me it could have been some newbie who just passed driving test or sumet, morons like this shouldn’t be on a fucking road full stop.

Nominated by Mind you own business you nosy bastard.