Two nil down with three to go, so the Ashes are almost certainly already lost.

Now I’d be the first to admit that England have brought this on themselves. These two matches could and should have been won. But thanks to Stokes’s boneheaded declaration on day 1 at Edgbaston followed by half a dozen dropped catches, then at Lords we had village green slapstick comedy batting on day 2 and pedestrian bowling conceding over 70 extras, ffs.

But what sticks in the craw is the dismissal of Bairstow. Clearly he thought the ball was dead as the umpire at the bowler’s end was looking down. So why didn’t Cummins the captain gracefully withdraw the appeal and show some class? BECAUSE HE HASN’T GOT ANY CLASS, HE’S A CUNT, that’s why.

On reflection, only to be expected from a bunch of cheating convicts I suppose.
Got any sandpaper handy for Headingley, cobber?

Bbc news

Nominated by Geordie Twatt.

Addendum from Cuntybollocks and Lord Helpus on this touchy topic below.

I’d like to second this nomination, if I may?

What also pissed me off was the likes of Atherton and a few other ex England players sticking up for the Aussie cheats. Do these idiots think the likes of Ricky Ponting would do the same if it had happened to the Aussies?

Like fuck he would. And he’d be right not to.

Well if, as these pricks say ‘It was within the laws of the game ‘ then I fully expect them not to moan if we do the same to the Aussies next game?

Every time a player walks down the wicket at the end of an over (which is what happened with Barstow) we should stump the cunts.

I want us going full cheat mode next game. Players on steroids hitting the ball into the Thames. Poisoning the Aussie players food to give them the shits the night before the test. Use deepfake technology to show our players gangbanging the Aussie players wives and mothers then put the videos on xhamster. Or even better, Steve Smith banging Pat Cummins’s missus. See, I’ve got this sorted.

I want us ball tampering and all (they can ask Atherton how to get away with this)

If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em.

Fuck these cheating convict cunts.

We all know the aussies will do anything to win – fair or foul. Why is anyone surprised at their atrocious antics and lack of sportsmanship?

But I agree with GT: declaring on the ist innings of the 1st test was arrogant stupidity.

Stokes is a fine buccaneering batsman in the style of Botham but as with the latter he isn’t a great captain. Mike Brearley knew one had to apply brains as well as brawn to win a test series against the best opponents.

You can’t go gung ho in every situation.

We should be 1-1 not 0-2 down.

is a cunt. If this forum was for a more fitting cunt, then this Sussex PCSO ticks the box.

His fucking attitude stinks…….he is no better than the slack jawed knuckle dragging wankers he is being pleaded with by this member of the public to go and sort out.

To his credit the guy requesting help kept his temper and patience in check…particularly under increasing cuntiness of the ‘I really don’t give a fuck, it’s not my job’ attitude of this PCSO.

For me, what makes this worse is that the PCSO didn’t even try and make much of an excuse. He could have said he was on surveillance for example, but no.

Here’s the video:

Bbc news

And you wonder why this country is becoming like the wild west and victims take justice into their own hands. The Police and associated authority figures appear to be recruiting officers that are no better than the thugs on the street themselves.

All started to go downhill IMO when they did away with the height requirements.

You now have short arse kids in police uniforms that are far to big for them….how they fuck are you supposed to take a modern officer seriously when their uniform is ‘one size fits all’ they are short and dumpy wearing black polo shirts and baseball caps? What happened to fine upstanding officers 6ft tall with a proper tit helmet on to give them another 8 inches in height…crisp white shirt and tie, black trousers and DM’s with hand cuss in a leather pouch of their belts……..just the look of a proper officer used to shit me up.

Nominated by Chuff Chugger.

A little bit more on this from Lord Helpus below.

The great Owen Jones was arguing on Jeremy Vile today that “PSCOs” aren’t police constables. They only get £20K a year and aren’t trained to deal with violence. No, he blamed the brave members of the public who intervened in the shoplifting. Apparently, Jones stands aside and lets the little shits take what they like. After all, the are probably poor and needy aren’t they?

These are the sort of woke, gutless, immoral attitudes that are sending this country spinning into terminal decline.

Police personnel refusing to prevent crime aided and abetted by Liberal left commentators who condone their cowardly behaviour. Shameful.

 
A steaming litter tray nomination for the fucked-up teacher from Rye College, East Sussex, who called a pupil ‘despicable’ said ‘belonged in an asylum’ and threatened to notify a senior staff member all because the pupil didn’t think other pupils should identity as… CATS.

I know teaching can be stressful, and sometimes you humour kids (like a little chap next door to the house I was working on about ten years ago who went around his garden barking and saying he was a bulldog for a few days), but you really have to wonder if you’ve lost the fucking plot if you start getting angry because a teenager doesnt believe another is a cat.

Rye College isn’t far from my neck of the woods, and I might be more concerned if Brighton – the UK’s answer to San Francisco in many ways and home of genderquare shithousing – wasn”t between us.

I wonder where the teacher learned about Cat being a gender rather than from the felid family in the mammalian class.
Perhaps she’d been ‘on a course’ similiar to the one attended by the Humberside PC who needed to check Harry Miller’s thinking on trans issues was correct.

She may have attended an avante-garde street performance of Cats! in Brighton (featuring an incognito Steven Berkhoff) and fallen in love with Rumpleteaser

I’m not sure what my brother and sister-in-law plan to do for their children.
Right now Japan looks pretty good.

Sussex-Express

Nominated by Cuntamus Prime.

More on this topic from Double 0 cunt below

Rye College East Sussex

We all jest about identifying as a postbox (or Holly Willoughbys bra) but it would seem crazyness is being taking seriously.

Rye College (They were called schools in my day) in East Sussex thinks its acceptable for a pupil to identify as a cat and unbelievably answer questions with a meow. When another pupil questioned this they were shouted down by a teacher as the cat cried, can cats cry? Seems like one of the more obscure episodes of the twilight zone.

How far down the rabbit hole are we going to go?

 
Is a major cunt and so are the Police for not dealing with these pieces of festering dog shit properly, case in point the above mother fucker who has a list of convictions as long as an Orangutans arm and should be going into Uncle Terry’s oven, but instead is going to have a nice cell with an Xbox and a bed and he will only do half of that sentence anyway.

Why are plod so scared of dealing with criminals properly any more, scum like the above 20 years for shit he has probably done anyway, oil protesters 10 years, sharing a cell with that inbred ginger cunt for good measure.
Until these fuckers are treated like criminals and not hotel guests the better, there is no fear of the law anymore and im not surprised when you see shit like this going on, but don’t pay your tv license and then your really going to get fucked…..

Wales on line

Nominated by Fuglyucker.

 
This is a follow up cunting to the recent Nom about the female Chief Constable of Avon and Somerset Police who says they are institutionally racist and needed to do more to tackle racism.

As part of that program ‘to go much further’ Sarah Crew will be trialling the MOJ ‘Chance to Change’ initiative.

So in a nutshell over the years the cops have introduced a range of sanctions aimed at keeping young offender out of the Court system, referred to as ‘disposals’.

What follows is a direct quote from Avon and Somerset stated policy

“Plans are in development to introduce the Chance to Change programme, which has been piloted by West Yorkshire and the Metropolitan Police and has led to a reduction in offending for 18-24 year-olds. The scheme allows people to avoid a criminal justice outcome for low level or first-time offences. These types of out of court disposals often require an admission of guilt to take part, which research has shown can be a barrier to young men of Black heritage, therefore leading to harsher and disproportionate criminal justice outcomes. The aim of this scheme is to keep more young men of Black heritage out of the criminal justice system, reduce re-offending and improve relationships between the police, criminal justice system partners and Black heritage communities”.

No you didn’t read that incorrectly.

“These types of out of court disposals often require an admission of guilt to take part, which research has shown can be a barrier to young men of Black heritage,”

Well fuckadoodledo, I’ll be damned. Who’d of thunk it.

So if you are of Black Heritage unlike all other offending groups you’re now absolved of your responsibility of admitting your crime.

But it’s reassuring to know that ‘it’s been piloted by West Yorkshire and the Metropolitan Police and has led to a reduction in offending for 18-24 year-olds’

Never.

Over to you cunters.

Gov.uk

Nominated by CuntyMcCuntface.