Megan Topping and her Greggs obsession for your consideration.

Some people decide to do some extraordinary things to achieve a lifetime goal. Reach the summit of a mountain, travel across a vast expanse of water, travel through uncharted territory, but not this stupid bint, oh no, she’s a trailblazer.

Megan has decided to visit every Greggs in the country, in her honourable pursuit of cuntishness.

She’s eaten 10,000 sausage rolls, and spends £300 a month in the gourmet establishments, yet she’s only 8 stone and “leads a healthy lifestyle “.
“ So far, she’s visited every Greggs in Greater Manchester, said: “I couldn’t be more excited. I work a lot and I wanted to do something fun with my life, so I thought, ‘Sod it, why not?’

AMAZING. It takes a special kind of person to commit to such an enormous challenge in the pursuit of her personal goal of being, well, a proper thick cunt.

Mirror News Link

Nominated by: Cuntington Smythe

There are some Casting Agency young couples who I am sure are totally genuine despite talking like frozen muppets appearing ont’ telly to warn us about the wave of criminality now engulfing our new estates.

“Did you hear next door was arse burgled the other day”

“Ooh we did. There is an epidemic of arse burgling on the estate. I wish we could feel safe in our own beds.’

“We have had a Verisure Alarm fitted. We rang them and they came and fitted the same day. Now we have total peace of mind and they give you a limited time offer of a free door bell arsecam. ”

“What a Graze idea.”

“You’re doing the wrong ad you cunt. Yes you should get one. If you fancy having your arseburgled you can see who it is and let them in. Verisure let you can take control of your own life.”

“Yes you should get one. If you fancy having your arseburgled you can see who it is and let them in. Verisure let you can take control of your own life.”

“What a good idea (fake Co-Op Insurance type smile to partner). We’ll get one fitted right away.”

“Yes do. You won’t regret it. We have no worries now.”

How much do they cost?”

“That is not in my script”

Fake Co-Op Insurance type smiles all round.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

Seconded by: Cassandra

Along with the likes of Kevin Twatly, whose Key advert for equity release really boils my piss. Has he no shame trying to persuade us pensioners to fritter away our kids’ inheritance? “we’ll tell you if it’s not right for you?” Fuck off – the few applications you do reject is because they ain’t right for Key. These products are invariably a bad idea – except for the mercenary fuckers making the ads.

Same goes for all the other “funeral plans”, “debt consolidation” and “snake oil” products on TV. You know who you are Eamonn and Carol.

I’ve had enough of this bollocks. I’ve transferred all my pensions to PensionBee, which soon I’ll be transferring them back out because they were a private company managing others money and now they are PLC. This is all they deal with pensions. I want my pension to make profit not pay shareholders of shareholders. I want people to have a job and be happy considering all the fucking unions wreck them.

How can you have other people making money from people’s pensions other than the people who manage them? It’s the same as retail banks offering all sorts from customers deposits, if I want a loan that should be funded by fellow citizens or maybe a credit card. Which in turn makes interest. If I was to go bankrupt, I’d expect a public flogging. Albeit minor, not no raghead style.

Where people’s money is made is via commercial investments not from direct people… Jesus wept at this bollocks the regulator needs to have a word. It’s some sort of Piramind scheme again.

PS – if you want a busy bee stick Soros head on a fucking bee. He is busy screwing every fucker going.

Nominated by: Clown Clown the Cunty Man

Ladies, Gentlemen and Don’t-Knows, please charge your glasses of Babycham and Iced Pansy water, to toast the latest MP to gather up his skirts to leap aboard the Tranny wagon, his frilly panties and black suspender belt flashing as he so goes.

This time it is roly-poly Conservative (!) MP Jamie Wallis who claims he was raped last year and blackmailed, because he is a member of the Eddie Izzard Appreciation Society – and to crown it all, he had a car accident and ran away (gathering his voluminous skirts around him, no doubt):

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-politics-60925885

The House of Commons will be a complete Goon show if this goes on.

Mrs. Shufflewick for Prime Minister (*)

(*) What you don’t remember “Workers Playtime”? It was only 1959.

Nominated by: W. C. Boggs