I can’t speak for my fellow cunters but personally speaking a “once in a lifetime trip” certainly wouldn’t include a nice visit to that world renowned tourist hotspot Iran.
However I haven’t taken into account that these happy travellers may have wanted to visit some of the worst prisons in the Middle East, be beaten, starved and held in solitary confinement.
It takes all sorts I suppose.
Dear me.
Nominated by Unkle Terry.
he is a cunt or not?
Personally I find this story amusing.
You can decide if he is a cunt or not..
This fellow was pretending he was growing tea in the Scottish Highlands.
He claimed to have invented a biodegradable polymer that made tea grow in half the time.. turns out it was a bin bag.
He was buying plants from Europe and claiming they were grown in Scotland.
He sold his tea to the Balmoral and Dorchester hotels claiming it was the late queen’s favourite.
Also to a buyer for fortnum and Masons.
He got three and a half years, alot more than a pàķi rapist gets nowadays.
So he tricked alot of gullible and more likely greedy people. I imagine those hotels were charging a fiver for a cup of tea..
Nominated by Barry zuckercunt.
I’m not going to go into great detail but if fellow cunters have the stomach for the sordid details in the link then good luck to them.Im hoping I can take a vaccine that will delete the information from my mind once this nomination is over..
Anyhow the NHS,which means us,are providing vaccines to persons who’s lifestyles are giving them repeated STIs,which in turn is leading to the rise of antibiotic resistant infections and cost a fucking fortune.
The mind truly boggles at the lighthearted,carefree reporting on this depravity and mindless stupidity,which is par for the course when it comes to every type of minority and their inevitable semi suicīdal lifestyles..
But why are we paying to sustain it ?
Vaccine Oven.
Dear me.
Nominated by Unkle Terry.
is a cunt.
Fuck me, no one likes death, it brings misery to those who it affects, and can lead to months of mourning, in some cases severe depression.
However, I can’t recall a death that has borne such an unfunny cunt as Harry Hill
This oversized collar wearing twat, ill fitting suit, top pocket rammed with pens, is less funny that catching your genital in the blades of a combine harvester.
I’ve tried, several times, to find something of comedic value in Hill, from his Showaddywaddy loafers, to his constant screwed up, tongue out the mouth lizard licking, and still find him a completely irritating cunt.
I realised that some deaths can indeed affect a much wider group of people than the immediate family, personally it still affects me now.
Luckily with today’s numerous options for viewing, I am quite able to avoid Hill, but fuck me, a few years ago avoiding the cunt was far more difficult
Nominated by DryItchyCunt.
are a cunt.
Adverts have been around for a very long time. According to Google, the first ad we have record of was on a papyrus found in Thebes, and dated at c3,000 BC. It was done by a craftsman to promote his weaving store. Ever since then they’ve been around to irritate or bore us to various degrees.
It’s fair to say that I can ignore ads for the most part, but some annoy the fucking life out of me for some reason. Take the case of this shitty ad for Maltesers. Here we have a classic for our time; a family of effnicks being introduced to ‘grandma’s companion’, an utterly gormless-looking wally chomping on chocolates, who is, of course, the figure-of-fun token white on display;
Speaking of ‘rainbow ads’, how about the utterly weird ‘copy nothing’ ad for Jaguar cars? This features a bizarre looking collection of individuals poncing about in strange costumes, but oddly, there’s not a car in sight… Reports suggest that since this very peculiar and irritating ad appeared, sales of Jags have slid into oblivion. ‘Go woke go broke’ then?;
youtube
Now some ads drive you to distraction by the sheer amount of repetition they subject you to. Who’s not been battered into submission when on YouTube by THIS total cunt?;
Yes they can truly annoy and irritate, and really, I suspect that’s the point. To paraphrase Oscar Wilde, the only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.The more annoying an ad is, the more it lives rent free in your head. To this day I can’t shake out ‘on and on and on and Ariston’, and ‘Go Compare!’. If the ad man can throw some controversy into the mix as well and get people arguing about the ad in the meeja and online, then he’s generated (as that appalling Americanism has it) ‘more bangs per buck’.
I’m sure that you lot out in the world of cunting will have have your own ‘horrible ads’ to report. One thing’s for sure; like earthquakes, locusts, the clap, wasps, peacefuls and other undesirables, annoying adverts are another thing we’ll never get rid of.
Nominated by Ron Knee.