*Deadline Oct 10, 2024*

It’s the end of the fourth day’s play in the first test match between Pakistan and England in Multan, and what a feast of run-making we’ve seen on what’s proved to be a nightmare pitch for bowlers.

Pakistan batted first and must have fancied their chances after running up a very tidy score of 556, including three centuries. England however decided that they were having a laugh, and proceeded to rattle the ball around with gay abandon. Yorkies Harry Brook and Joe Root made 317 and 262 respectively, with Crawley chipping in 78 and Duckett 84, as England amassed 823-7 dec., the fourth highest total in test history.

And what of England captain Ollie Pope in this England run extravaganza? Well, the lad was out facing only his second delivery, without, as they used to say in the golden age of Test Match Special, ‘troubling the scorers’.

You’ve got to feel sorry for him, but at the same time you can’t help but laugh. He must feel like a right twat for missing out on this track. I bet he’d like to kick his own arse, and you can’t blame him.

Daily Fail

Nominated by Ron Knee.

charities.

There’s very little that surprises me, in terms of criminal activity, and naturally I condemn those who are violent.

One thing, however, I find so abhorrent, that I really cannot forgive, are those who use positions of trust to steal funds from charities, especially small ones.

Ms. MacCallum stole almost £86k from a cancer charity set up by her best friend in memory of her daughter who died from leukemia. MacCallum also stole nearly £10k from the Anthony Nolan Trust.

Her excuse for the thefts, carried out between 2011 and 2021 was that her daughter was in “terrible trouble” and needed access to money. Ten years? That’s a long time to be in “terrible trouble” Lindsay!

She was sentenced to three years, which seems to be on the lenient side to me.

bbcnews

Nominated by Jeezum Priest.

A tribute to Alex Salmond who sadly died yesterday.

Alex was a slimy odious little sex pest who got away with it. He began the decline of Scotland and then fell out with wee Krankie who continued his work, adding a dash of (alleged) corruption.

RIP you repulsive cunt.

He has been praised as a champion of Scottish independence when all evidence is that the SNP couldnt run a whelk stall never mind a drug addled country.
And of course Scotland is badly treated by Westminster. Well, just like everyfuckingwhere else outside of London and the Home Counties. And don’t the fuckers get more per head in benefits etc than England?

bbcnews

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble.

is a cunt.

To follow the excellent nom by The Artful Cunter on the Addictive Use Of Mobile Phones, allow me to introduce you to Sleep Texting.

Although this hasn’t been fully studied ( no-ones coughed up a grant, yet ), it’s thought that this is along the lines of sleep walking.

It was the Lass that clued me into this, she showed me some ” sleep texts”.
Google ( or whatever Search engine you use) ‘sleep text examples’.

It just proves to me that some people are so obsessed, they can’t even switch off when asleep. How sad.

sleep texting

Nominated by Jeezum Priest.

is a cunt.

(ably supported by Angela Rayner)

“Good afternoon. This is IsAC’s political correspondent Ron Knee reporting, and it’s a case of another week, another Liebour shambles.

This time step forward Transport Secretary Louise Haigh, who has branded P and O Ferries ‘a rogue operator’. P and O’s parent company DP World is reported to be less than amused at Haigh, threatening its planned billion pound investment in its London Gateway container port. To add insult to injury, Haigh has been joined by ginger gobshite Angela Rayner in her condemnation of P and O as ‘unscrupulous’ and ‘exploitative’, a view apparently held by other Labour MPs.

Unsurprisingly, this has caused huge embarrassment to PM Sir Two-tier on the eve of his investment summit, which aims to attract investment into the UK. Shuffling and squirming, Sir FreeGear was obliged to state publicly that Haigh’s condemnation of P and O and her call for a boycott of the firm was ‘not government policy’. Business Secretary Jonathan Reynolds has since been obliged to go on record to reiterate The Beloved Leader’s statement.

Er, hang on chaps. Haigh’s condemnation (and Rayner’s) was stated in an official government press release just a few days ago. Moreover the Gruesome Twosome are indeed very senior members of the government, Cabinet members no less. So surely their views must be the views of the government then, until they aren’t…

So there you have it; another fine mess they’ve gotten us into. Perhaps Haigh can possibly be excused on the grounds that she’s still trying to find her feet in the job. I suggest that she looks in her mouth next time.

This is Ron Knee, for IsAC, returning you to the studio.”

standard

Nominated by Ron Knee.